Send Me An Angel
by Kellifer Monkey
Summary: [Last Light, 1993] Starring Kiefer Sutherland & Forest Whitaker. Can anyone break through the walls around Denver Bayliss and find the good inside him, before its too late? Rated R for some sexual and violent themes, and use of adult language. COMPLETE!
1. In the Clouds

Darkness shrouded his rank and filthy body from even his own view, but still he closed his eyes. The concrete beneath his feet was cold and he shivered silently and tried to take himself away from that foul place. The bars were no object to his imagination and he found himself travelling off to the woods once more.  
  
It had been over a decade since he saw a real blue sky. Almost half his life had been seen through iron bars and wire fences; he calculated that he had only spent a rough average of twenty-eight weeks outdoors in the last thirteen years. Though, however long it had been he could still remember the open blue sky that day. Great redwoods towered above a mischievous ten year old, Denver Bayliss and he felt he was in some kind of dream world. The powder blue was highlighted with clouds so beautiful that they could have decorated one of Constable's paintings. He had actually been to the woods once in his whole life but a thousand or more times in his mind.  
  
In his dreams he was no longer with his wayward mother and her current waster boyfriend, whose name Denver couldn't even recall. His ever tolerant sister Lil wandered merrily around the opening in the trees and collected wildflowers and made small posies. Denver climbed the trees. He'd been told many times that day that it was strictly prohibited, but things like that never worried the young blond haired, blue eyed monster.   
  
At that age it would have been an exaggeration to call him a monster; unruly perhaps, but not a monster. His mother had lain down under a tree and what's his name was crawling all over her; as was his want. Denver no longer cared what they did. He had no real friends that they could embarrass him in front of, and sex was pretty common place to him… part of the background.  
  
It was part of his background… whereas he was only ever a part of theirs. His Mom had only taken the kids out with them to show the new guy that she was a good person; as though collecting your kids from the harsh and uncaring foster parents you'd left them with, warranted merit. Once the picnic was eaten; the strained family time was over and Lillian and Denver were shooed away to play by themselves. While Mommy and…Gillis… that was his name. Hell, how could he have forgotten it was him? Denver had hated him more than most. He had a son called Frank, who was a fair bit older then Denver and liked to take on the elder brother role… the elder, meaner brother role most of the time.  
  
Frank was a real nasty piece of work, which the young Denver both admired and detested at the same time. His admiration was born of the 'cool' new tricks the boy taught him. Such as stealing toys and sweets from the local store and how to fight…Okay that skill was worth having. It saved him from a lot of trouble in his various foster homes. There had been four by that point and since Frank lived very close to the Abbot family he and Denver used to spend a lot of time together.  
  
Denver's admiration for Frank was lost the evening of Lil's birthday. Lil turned fourteen and the Abbots found they didn't have the room to give her a bigger living space, required for the older girls in care. So she moved away without Denver, for the first time in their lives. Denver was lonely without her, even though he never thought them close; he missed having her around trying to guide him. Hell, she was so damned moral, even back then, but that made him feel safe, wanted and cared for… no one had ever loved Denver Bayliss; he didn't know what love was. But Lil cared for him and maybe that was close enough.  
  
Well things changed when Denver was alone. He saw his sister less and less; it put distance between them emotionally as well as physically, and Denver tried to compensate by hanging out with Frank more and more. They took to stealing from the local store more often. Frank stole cigarettes now and alcohol, Denver was twelve years old and the taste of liquor made him sick; but he drank it to impress Frank all the same. He did a lot to impress Frank before he realised it was the wrong thing.   
  
One night his dark haired brother got wasted on stolen booze and told Denver he'd take him to see Lil, since he knew how lonely he was with the Abbots.  
  
"Hey Denny, how's about we go pay Sis a visit?" Frank slurred over a bottle of J&B. Denver tried to mask his enthusiasm a little, but Frank knew what Lil meant to him, that was part of the plan.  
  
Frank Gillis was out to take revenge for his Dad. Connie Bayliss had recently dumped Gillis senior for an attractive bartender at the Royale in town; young Frank thought this was decidedly out of line. However the fact that his father had beaten the living daylights out of Connie didn't seem to feature in his morality. Frank must have had a rosy view of the Bayliss family, because hurting Denver would have little effect on his mother and the revenge from that sense would be fruitless.   
  
They drove over to the other side of town in Gillis's car and Frank told Denver how they were going to have a party for Lil's birthday. Denver was too young, or perhaps too naïve to understand the kind of partying Frank was referring to. The comments along the lines of 'well Lil is practically a woman now!' went over Denver's head and he wasn't to know that Frank had any reason to bear a grudge against him. He hadn't seen or heard from his mother for months.  
  
While Denver was busy stealing to Frank's orders in the local store, the young Gillis was busying himself with the not too subtle seduction of the boy's sister.   
  
Lil was a sweet girl and at the age of eight had found a lot of comfort in her faith. When her family let her down she found hope in God, Denver followed her lead for a while and attended Church with her and the two younger Abbot girls when he was nine or so. But God's promises, or rather the stories Lil told him, didn't ring true for Denver. He was more materialistic and attention seeking than his sister and found it hard to set aside his desires for a more spiritual way of life.  
  
Lil didn't need much to survive, the only things in the world that were of value to her, were her family, her faith and her dignity. In one foul blow all but one would be ripped from her and even that would be tested beyond reason.  
  
Denver opened his eyes as blinding light shone into the cell. It was like fire in his eyes and he staggered backwards against the wall, smashing his hip quite hard against the cold stone.  
  
"Can you see me?" said a voice from his left. He hunched over and tried to see who it was. This was an all important moment. If it was Lionel McMannis he'd be in for trouble. Lionel had never liked him. As far as anyone could tell Lionel didn't like much at all. If truth be told, no one really liked Denver either. Maybe a few of the other clients on the row… but no one… no one but Lil cared for him.  
  
"Get up and move towards the sound of my voice." The guard wasn't anyone Denver recognised. He was softly spoken and there wasn't such an authoritative tone to his voice… perhaps he was new. Denver was busy pondering the questions, a simple tone of voice had brought up; when suddenly he was blasted with gallons of freezing cold water.   
  
He slipped over and tried to get up, tried to gain purchase against the stone wall but he had no strength in his hands to grip and no voice of his own to call out with so he recoiled from the jets of water and did all he could to hold onto what dignity he had left. Everything was slimy and wet and the fresh air that blasted into the room had made him once again aware of the foul stench that he was surrounded by and indeed a part of. He called this 'being born'… coming back into the world after having it taken away from him. His mother had said many things about him being a terrible baby and what a painful labour she'd had because of him… somewhere inside him; he wondered if it really could feel this bad.  
  
When the water stopped he was crouched and hunched over against the back wall; the filthy cinder blocks rubbed across his skin and he felt it begin to burn with small grazes.  
  
"Get up and go to the shower." He followed the instructions without pause for thought or question; all the time waiting to be kicked and beaten. When he stepped out naked, into the brightly lit hall he cowered against the wall and waited; flinching when finally he felt… what was that? The guy had actually touched him. Usually the only contact made, was through the safety of a cold leather steel toe capped boot. This guy had actually put his hands on him; he'd actually touched his skin… twice, as he ushered him away towards the shower block. Somehow that hurt more than the beating would have done.  
  
Sometimes when you have everything removed from you, you begin to lose sight of who you are, where you are and what is going on around you. But no matter how hard you try, you can't stop feeling.   
  
The woods kept him going for five weeks… the thoughts of going back there one day; free and happy… maybe even with a girl. That was what kept Denver going, where he went to find some kind of peace. A peace he knew he could never deserve… dreams he knew would never be real and with them the faint fear that he wouldn't have a clue what to do if they did.  
  
Hope was pointless, but what else did he have left? 


	2. What’s Inside

"So did he squeal to his lawyer?" Lionel asked as Fred was finishing up in the staff room. Fred Whitmore shook his head and glanced down at the dirt on his shoes. He felt faintly guilty for listening in on Denver's meeting. Okay the guy was scum, but everyone deserves a little respect don't they? Even a convicted killer was still a person… albeit a very disturbed one. Fred resolved himself then and there, to never do that again. Doing this job was enough of a weight on his conscience without having to feel he wasn't even doing it properly.  
  
"No... In fact he fired him. The guy muttered something to him about trying to make more effort and take things seriously. Bayliss went mental…"  
  
"He attacked him?" Lionel sounded desperate to find a reason to torment Denver further. Fred scowled and tried to break from his lieutenant's eager gaze.  
  
"Not physically… he just gave him a piece of his mind." Fred paused and reached down with his pale blue handkerchief in his hand to wipe away the mark from his shoe. Straightening up and meeting Lionel's gaze once more, he told him simply that Bayliss had asked for a new lawyer. "There was no fuss, just a few harshly spoken words on both their parts."  
  
"I doubt very much whether he'll get one. Seems the state doesn't see much more point in keeping Denver alive than we do. He's on his seventh lawyer now." Lionel broke into laughter, "Hey, maybe this is lucky seven! Good old Denver, no matter what he tries to say, he still has hope and it's just so much fun to help him lose it!"  
  
Lionel left with a large sneer playing across his lips and Fred found himself staring out of the door in amazement. 'How could someone be so cruel?' He thought to himself. Okay, hope was pointless on the row but to take joy from breaking it down… This really was the worst job; no matter what Lionel told him.  
  
Denver sat in the darkness of the quiet cell on the end of his tier. Jimmy had it coming to him; if Denver hadn't fought back he'd have a great hole in his gut right now. He had no choice; not anymore… even if he did have feelings, even if nightmares tormented him every night… he had no choice but to fight back. No one understood what it was like to live in such an environment. When you didn't fight back you were labelled an easy target and then the beatings wouldn't stop until you did retaliate. By that point things would have escalated to a level beyond a few bruises.   
  
Standing back rarely helped you in the end. The bulls didn't care if you lived or died… okay they cared about you dying…so long as it was on their terms. Denver had no one to look out for him; the lawyers didn't really give a damn. Most of his legal representation was done by wannabe hot shots, recently qualified and wanting to make a name for them selves, by saving a death row prisoner.  
  
If he felt they sincerely thought anything of him as a person, maybe he wouldn't enjoy taunting them so much. Kathy had been fun. She was having marital problems and Denver enjoyed playing her at her own game. As if spending your days on a lost cause and flirting with a bad boy on death row would make him believe she actually wanted to help him. No one had ever wanted to do anything for him if it wasn't for their own gain.   
  
Still there was always hope, maybe the next one would care. Maybe someone would want him to live… want to visit him occasionally, bring him books to read or write him letters… Maybe he'd have at least one friend before he fried.  
  
He lay down on the cot and closed his eyes from the darkness, he saw the trees and the sky and there beside him he felt someone move. Reaching his hand down over his lap he felt her auburn curls soft against his skin and leaned over to meet her emerald green eyes as she gazed up at him.  
  
"Denny, its beautiful here; just like you said it would be…"  
  
The iron door opened and he hadn't realised he'd been asleep until the bright morning sun burnt his eyes. Fred led him out to go to the yard and he wandered in his mind silently. He tried to reconstruct her face in his mind but the dream had only provided a flashing glimpse of what she looked like. He could feel her soft skin, smell the spicy scent of her hair and still faintly hear her voice, but her face and the smile he had only just caught, was lost to the daylight.  
  
Only Lil called him Denny. That sure as hell wasn't Lil… he had no idea who she was, or indeed if she was anyone at all; but from that moment on, he had her on his mind all the time.  
  
"Cross your right leg over your left." Denver followed Fred's orders silently. Both of them had far too much on their minds for even the strained type of conversation they usually shared. There would be words; Denver could feel the aggression in Fred, probably before he knew it himself. It was a survival technique of sorts and Denver prided himself on the fact that whatever they did to his body, they had never been able to take hold of his mind. His thoughts were his own and the fact that Lionel couldn't break him gave Denver Bayliss a lot of pleasure.   
  
The bulls could beat him, starve him, leave him in a stinking hole covered in his own shit, but they could never understand him. Not because he was deranged or incomprehensibly evil, but because he had a complex and intelligent mind despite his lack of real schooling. They couldn't break that and they couldn't break the spirit that lived on in his dreams.  
  
Denver knew the truth of the situation, knew why he was really there. No one asked why he'd done it, the first time; why he'd killed someone… no one cared. No one wanted to take care of him out of Juvenile hall even if he was released. What was the point of wasting valuable resources on someone, that society had deemed, 'better off dead'?  
  
Fortunately for Denver there was one person who did not share this particularly defeatist opinion.   
  
Anna Darwin sat at her shiny new rosewood desk and rubbed the bridge of her nose with her left forefinger and thumb while nibbling on the arm of her spectacles with her imperfect English teeth. It was almost eleven in the evening and she had been reading the case notes, which sat before her, for a little over twelve hours.   
  
'Denver shows no remorse for his crimes and rarely comments on what he has done while imprisoned for the last thirteen years. He displays aggressive tendencies towards both staff and other inmates; and everyone he meets seems to be made some kind of target for the expulsion of his misery. His case speaks for itself; the only hope he has is in the action against the state, involving the way he has been treated for so many years. The evidence is flimsy and Denver seems reluctant to speak up if he is suffering any maltreatment. Unless new evidence can be found, it seems unlikely that the Governor will grant him clemency.'   
  
Anna knew she was taking on a lot here. She curled her hair between her fingers and lightly turned back the cover of the 128 page file that had been handed to her that morning with the words…  
  
"Anna, you are my last resort. I know you have some scientific background… you know Psychiatric… and this guy needs more than just legal advice."  
  
She had corrected her boss quickly. Her three years studying psychological development hadn't been nearly as much as psychiatrists go through in medical school. Studying law in Atlanta the year following her graduation from Derby University, had been a spur of the moment decision based solely on getting away from home, but it had proven to be quite a fruitful career choice. She had just completed her first private case and against the odds she had won. Her unblemished career had seen nine cases won and only one settled out of court to her client's advantage.  
  
However this did not put her in the same league as Denver's previous lawyers. Anna wasn't doing this for extra credit. She had known on instinct that she should help this man. Even if Denver treated her badly… he couldn't physically hurt her and emotionally she had taken much worse. What's more, it had been made explicitly clear to her that if she refused to take this case, Denver Bayliss was going to die.  
  
Perhaps it was her training that made her so opposed to the death penalty, perhaps it was her English upbringing… perhaps she just saw something in his face… that was often the reason she took the cases she did. She gazed at the photograph on the cover of his file. It was as cold and sterile as any mug shot… but there was something in this man's eyes. Some spark of hope, some sign that he could be helped; given the right assistance… the right ear to talk to… the right shoulder to cry on. Maybe she could do what the others had failed to, maybe she could find the goodness that she believed, had to be inside him, and maybe just maybe she could save him from the chair. If she couldn't… well at least she could offer him her friendship until the time came. Surely that was the decent thing to do, the moral thing to do… the caring thing. 


	3. A Game of Secrets

The hallway, although colourfully decorated in a childlike fashion, felt sterile and cold as Dr Anna Darwin walked into the visiting room and took her seat at a small wooden table with two cold, metal, folding chairs set out on either side. She glanced around the room, quickly getting a feel for her surroundings and noting both the exits and the alarm button beside the nearest door.   
  
She had been searched by a burly looking guard at the gates and then again more thoroughly by a middle-aged, prim looking woman in the main lobby; who proceeded to flick through the files in her old brown leather briefcase, check her pockets and asked her to remove her scarf.  
  
"You never know what these men are capable of…" She had said sternly. "Who are you here to see Miss…"  
  
"Doctor actually, Dr Anna Darwin. I'm here to see Mr Denver Bayliss; I've been assigned as his legal representative." Anna spoke precisely and with a certain candour to her voice. It was often difficult being understood in Dallas, when you had a very perfect English accent. With some people it got her in to trouble; as though they thought she was talking down to them, but generally it earned her respect or at least a quirky kind of significance.  
  
"You are a doctor and a lawyer…" The woman began, as she made out a visitor badge and attached Anna's photo. "Still I don't think you'll have much luck with Bayliss, however many skills you've picked up…"  
  
"And why may I ask is that?" Anna said curiously. She didn't know what it was that made her feel so protective of this guy. Okay he was clearly very troubled and Anna had her own issues with regards to the maltreatment he was obviously receiving in prison; but how was it that no one could even begin to believe that he might have something in him worth the effort.  
  
The woman scowled and handed over the badge. "Denver isn't a very nice man, I was friends with Timmy Bailey; the guard he cut in half…" she spoke with such fury, as though she wished her sharp words were enough to stab out the man's eyes on their own.   
  
"I'm sorry…" Anna read the tag on the woman's jacket. "Ms McIntyre…" Anna didn't really know what to say.  
  
"Yeah well if you were truly sorry you'd turn around and walk away. Let the bastard fry, that's what I say. Taking poor Timmy away like that… what did he ever do to anyone?"  
  
Well it was a question Anna clearly couldn't answer, she muttered something about just doing her job, and Ms McIntyre told her that it was a pretty horrible job if it entailed putting scum like Denver back on the streets.  
  
It was these thoughts that occupied Anna while she waited for Mr Whitmore to bring Denver back in to meet her. Despite all these warnings, Anna found that she wasn't really afraid of Denver Bayliss. His file had told her more than any of these people knew; and she found herself almost expectant as she thumbed through the pages of his file and waited for him to arrive.  
  
Fred walked Denver down the hall and through the nine gates towards the waiting room. Every time they stopped at one of the fences Denver gazed at the other man curiously, as though he was trying to read his mind. Finally he asked his question.  
  
"You are surprised aren't you?" Denver said cheerfully. Fred turned and gave him a curious look. He was tired; last night had produced yet another row with his wife Hope and Darrell had heard every word. He hated hurting his son, but Fred couldn't hide his fears from his wife and her endless optimism sometimes became too much for him.  
  
"At what, Denver?" Fred replied coolly.  
  
"That I got, yet another lawyer. That no matter how much I offend people, someone always comes back to fight my corner." Denver walked through the final gate and faced the wall. "Crazy really, that so many people would go out of their way for a piece of shit like me, isn't it Fred?"   
  
Fred just walked him down the final corridor and opened the door to the visiting room. He left it until the very last minute to answer Denver, knowing that it wouldn't leave time for a smart-assed quip, therefore limiting how infuriated Fred would get with him.  
  
"Well she's paid to do her job, isn't she? Strange that an intelligent young woman like that would want to waste time on a piece of shit like you though, yeah."  
  
Denver had seen four women in the last two and a half years; a doctor, his sister, Kathy Rubicek and now Anna Darwin. He couldn't help but look her over and was completely unaware of the way he poked his tongue out a little and ran it slowly over his lower lip.   
  
She was almost as tall as he was, and had curves in all the right places. Her eyes were a darkish green colour in the dim light but looked as though they had flecks of hazel that seemed to draw his glance impulsively. She was dressed in a sandy coloured blouse that tapered in around her slim waist and then swathed her hips as it met with the dark brown cord pants. It wasn't until his eyes had travelled the length of her body twice, that he noticed her long, curly, auburn hair drawn up in a bun behind her head. A few ringlets trailed down beside her ears and he shivered as he remembered where he'd seen such hair.  
  
"Good morning Mr Bayliss, I'm Dr Anna Darwin. I'm your new lawyer, how are you feeing today?" She hadn't known what to say at all and her words, although as precise and domineering as usual, seemed to lack conviction.  
  
Denver was taken off guard. No one asked him how he was feeling. Not even the doctor he'd seen last year enquired after his well-being and it was her job to. He didn't know how to respond. Behind him Fred closed the door after muttering to Anna that she should call if she needed anything.  
  
"Tired." He replied finally. "You have trouble sleeping or something?"  
  
Anna wasn't nervous about his tone, or the looks he continued to give her. The fact that he was talking to her was progress enough. She had decided to take a little time to get to know him, rather than launching right into the case. It seemed from the file, that no one had ever done that before.  
  
"Actually Denver, I was up all night reading your file, since I was only given it yesterday morning and it seems time is of the essence." He smirked at her; a leering expression appeared on his face.  
  
"Well whatever turns you on I suppose. I prefer Hustler myself, but if you get a thrill out of going to bed with me…" He paused just long enough to cause her to raise an eyebrow. "I mean my file…" He over-pronounced the 'my file' part and his eyes widened as they met hers head on. "Well that's up to you." He expected her to tell him off. He was actually looking forward to hearing her proper English accent break a little as he rattled her.  
  
"That all sounds very interesting Denver, but we are hear to discuss you, not me. Add to that, as I said, I didn't get to bed last night as I was reading through this." She gestured at the scruffy looking folder he'd seen in many grubby hands over the years. He gazed at her hands, the perfect skin and the short nibbled on nails showing only a clear gloss of nail polish. He stiffened at the thought of what those hands would feel like on his body.   
  
This time it was him that felt uncomfortable. What's more she knew it and he guessed that she wouldn't be afraid to use it.  
  
"So sadly I couldn't comment on the 'thrill' of taking you… your file, to bed with me at all!" She held back the smile from her lips but he felt electricity run through his body as he caught the glimmer of it in her eyes. She was obviously going to be quite a match for his prying mind.  
  
"Well sweetheart any time you want to be thrilled, you can come on over here and I'll give you something to help you get to sleep at night." He thought that would put him back in control of the situation but Anna was clearly good at this game.   
  
"Denver as fascinating as all this is, I think we should be discussing more than your sexual preferences." She leant forward a little and he shifted uncomfortably in his metal chair. "Maybe we could talk about something else that you like to do, you could tell me about your sister. She writes you regularly I hear."  
  
Denver was instantly cagey. He didn't like talking about his family, it brought back too many memories and he wasn't going to let some prissy English lawyer come in and drag out his deepest darkest secrets; however attractive she was.  
  
"Why the urge to get to know me Doc, you want to be my friend or something?" His question was filled with venom, but it was due to his nerves more than a dislike of her. He so dearly wished she'd say yes and he forced himself to keep the sneer on his thin lips, in order to not show his desperation.  
  
Anna was as patient and calming as she could be. She had expected him to mess with her head a lot more than this. She could see he was getting a little agitated and it had been brought on by the mention of his sister. She silently told herself to keep that in mind and be cautious when broaching the subject again.  
  
"Denver, me being your friend would be dependant on a mutual respect. If you are able to show that and it is in anyway helpful to our situation then I don't see why not." He was startled and swallowed his own breath as he frowned at her. "I don't see any reason why we shouldn't get along; I know exactly what you have done with your life, why you are here… I might seem different in my approach, to your previous lawyers, but that's because I am different."  
  
Denver was scared. This was what he had wished for, for so many years. It felt like it had to be some sort of joke… a trick to get him to divulge information about something. She had played along with his flirting admirably… she surely wouldn't have a problem playing mind games with him. As always his fear was manifest in his aggression.  
  
"You are certainly something Doc." He mocked. "Are you one of those women who like the thought of a bad boy like me fucking you?" Anna couldn't help herself, it wasn't the things he was saying but the way he seemed to look into her; she began to blush. The rosy glow that appeared first in her cheeks spread across her face and turned the pale almost porcelain perfect complexion into a deep red. Denver laughed out loud and Anna subconsciously trembled at the harsh note of his laughter.  
  
"Oh honey, there's no need to be shy… why don't you come around here and make good use of those pretty lips of yours?" He licked his own lips menacingly and she could see his hands moving gently in his lap.  
  
Suddenly his eyes no longer held the spark of hope she'd seen in the photograph the night before, and they no longer drew her to him inexplicably… now the look in his eyes scared her more than she had been in several years.  
  
"Hey, honey… no one is around, Fred isn't looking… you want to come and play with me a while?" He looked at her face unsure whether this was his game or hers. He kept his usual dominating stance and watched her every movement. He knew he was making her nervous. He was making her feel awkward and she trembled across the table from him.  
  
"Tell me Anna, you shaking because you're scared or because you're getting all hot for me? Let's be friends, baby; I don't want to hurt you. I'll make you feel really good…"   
  
That was enough. Anna was scared, and his words weren't coming from his lips any more but repeating old phrases in her head. Over and over she heard her father's voice saying Denver's words and it was just too much.  
  
"Denver shut up!" she said furiously. Her aggression shocked him and he realised she wasn't playing games anymore. For once he hadn't really intended to upset her. She had proven to be different to the others and in his naïve mind he had thought she really might have had a thing for him… His wishful thinking had hurt her and he felt unexpectedly remorseful. He had to back out of this one without losing face. 'Why had it upset her so much?' He wondered. She had played along with him before why was this different? Then an answer came to him.  
  
"Anna, you ever had sex before?" It was a joke for him to be asking such a question. He was a twenty-seven year old virgin. The closest thing to sex he'd experienced was a hand job from one of the Abbot girls when he was almost fourteen. Truth was, if she had wanted to screw him there on the table he wouldn't have a clue where to start.  
  
Lost in his thoughts, he hadn't realised that she hadn't responded yet, and as he looked at her inquisitively for an answer he saw that she was shaking quite profoundly. Usually at this point the lawyer ran from the room in tears. Yet again she surprised him and as his heart sank he once again surprised himself.  
  
"Denver, I told you that I want you to respect me. I don't see what my sexual… experiences have to do with you or your case." What was that in her tone, her choice of words? Was it an English thing or had she chosen to avoid saying the usual 'history' line… she had him beat for a while but then it made sense.  
  
"You've been hurt haven't you?" he said far too tactlessly. Anna saw this as one of his games, the one she had been hoping he wouldn't play with her. She was scared of him and her past, which reared its ugly head whenever sex became an issue. "Someone hurt you didn't they, Anna…" He was about to say it, about to ask her if she'd been abused if only to bring his own story out into the open when she suddenly got up and moved around the table to stand beside him. Leaning forward she tilted her head to one side so that the spicy scent of her perfume filled his nose and a loose strand of her hair tickled his face. She whispered in his ear.  
  
"Denver, no one will give you the time of day. I'm the last in my office that will even look at your file. You go to the chair in a month; you can say what you want to me. You can even dredge up my past if you want to hurt me so much. You see, I know you do this stuff because you are scared… because you are lonely. I'm not a kid anymore and I'm not stupid enough to fall for your tricks." She paused and moved to look him right in the eyes. Their faces only inches apart.   
  
"If I leave, no one is coming back to replace me. I'm all you have left so you had better stop playing your childish games and be honest, or you are going to die a very sad and lonely man." 


	4. The Truth That We Hide

"Hank! Shut the hell up man, I have things on my mind. I can't write your goddamn letter for you, just read the book okay!" Denver was lying on his bed, his fingers laced together behind his head as he stared at the ceiling.  
  
"Denver, your dinner!" Fred said dropping the tray down on the ledge with a clatter. He'd already told him twice but Denver seemed miles away and Fred was growing impatient.   
  
"I don't want it." Denver called without getting up. Fred sighed heavily and Denver pulled his head up a few inches to look at him. "I'm not hungry, I don't want it. I don't have to eat it if I don't want to, do I?" Fred picked up the tray without saying another word and put it back on the trolley. That was as much conversation as they would have that night despite the fact that Fred was really quite curious about how Denver had got along with his new lawyer. Denver went to sleep soon afterwards and even the sounds of Jimmy wailing for his Mom all evening didn't seem to bother him.   
  
He hoped that he would be able to get away from his guilty feelings in his dreams, but as is often the case; trying to push the thoughts away makes them an even more prominent feature in your unconscious mind. His sleep was traumatic to say the least.  
  
In his dream, he was in a dark cell; he sat in a steel chair hunched over a sheet of pale pink paper; he knew he was awaiting the electric chair. The air was stale and although no one was left there long enough to smell of death, and everything was thoroughly cleaned up afterwards; it still had a rank scent to it. If fear truly did have a smell, then this was definitely it. On the paper before him was written a single word… Anna.  
  
The torment of his dreams was not the threat of dying, as it usually was. It wasn't the face of Timmy Bailey as he clawed at Denver's orange jumpsuit and begged for his life. It wasn't even his sister or mother that often paid him a visit in the dead of night. The pain was different here; it reminded Denver of the way he'd felt when Fred patted his shoulder fresh out of the hole. This was the pain of feeling. She had done this to him. She had woken this thing inside him; this thing that ate away at him as though he were fresh meat to a vulture. He thought it was long dead… that's if it had ever begun to exist at all.  
  
He woke with a start; hearing Jimmy yelling deafeningly in the cell beside him. Denver knew he'd been needlessly cruel to the woman and he felt bad about it. She was right about his fear and his loneliness. She knew him beyond the file in a way he never thought anyone ever would. He'd never answered her and she eventually gave up waiting on any kind of response and packed up her things.   
  
He'd thought of snapping at her for running away. He thought maybe he would tell her he was right about her false promises; that she didn't really want to be his friend if she was running from him at the first sign of trouble. Then he'd known what he should say. But it was too late. Anna was gone and now what scared him most of all, was that she might never come back.  
  
As he drifted off to sleep again, all he could see was her sorrowful face. The way her eyes had pleaded with him to stop hurting her, to leave it all alone; in the past where it belonged. He'd meant to try and apologise, he never tried to make things worse… once he realised the real problem. It surprised him that he wanted to comfort her. In her eyes he saw Timmy and the agony that he went through… that Denver was responsible for. He felt responsible for Anna now too. He felt protective of her, the way he had felt about Lil… but this wasn't a brotherly emotion that he felt curdling his insides. All these feelings were new to Denver Bayliss; he didn't understand what was going on inside him. Hustler doesn't really teach you how to fall in love, does it?  
  
Anna found sleep no more easily than her client. She shivered in bed despite the heat and pulled the quilt up around her face; unaware of the tears that ran down onto the fleecy fabric. She saw his face again. His eyes had haunted her since she was nine years old. Almost twenty years had passed since that first horrific time and it could still feel like it was just yesterday, at only a single moments notice.  
  
"Denver, you bastard!" she sobbed into her soft feather pillow. "Why couldn't you leave it alone, why couldn't you just let me in, instead of fighting me? Instead of hurting me like this. Why couldn't you just be my friend?"  
  
As her words flowed without thought, they echoed back at her like the mocking voice of her conscience. It startled her to discover what she had just said; she heard it as though it was someone else talking to her. Did she really want this man to be her friend? Okay she had run away from her family and friends to the other side of the world and if truth be told she was almost as lonely as him, but…  
  
'But what, Anna? Why can't you want that? Why can't you want to be a friend to a man in need?'  
  
She couldn't find a reason. She couldn't answer her own question, let alone begin to make sense of why she hadn't run like the others. It was as though something was pulling her to the guy. Something was telling her this was right. Even if it hurt at first… it was the right thing to do.  
  
When sleep wouldn't take her after an hour or so, she rose from bed and pulled on a thick fleece robe; she kicked around in the near darkness for her slippers and then pulled one of the blankets off the bed to wrap around her shoulders. If Mr Thurston didn't fix the goddamn heating soon, she was going to sue the stupid old waster. She went to her desk and pulled on the tassel switch to turn on her desk lamp. There, as if by magic, was Denver's photo staring up at her. His eyes, fixed on the camera; had the appearance of looking right at her… right into her. How did he do this to her? How did he make her feel so vulnerable again? She knew there was a reason… she leafed through the file again and stared drowsily at the pages. Fifty-eight, fifty-nine; every page was another graphic witness account of the terrible things that he had done.  
  
'The damage to the body was extensive. Other than the wounds to the torso and back, brought about presumably by a severe kicking, the boy had deep cuts around his neck and face. The cause of death itself was borne from a severe blow to the head or the purple marks around the throat suggest asphyxiation, it is very difficult to say which came first.'  
  
Though in all this horrific account of how Denver had made his first kill, no one mentioned the fact that up to the point of death, he was as badly hurt as the other boy. The page that stated Denver's wounds and the small folder that contained his medical records while he was hospitalised for a month, were lost in the back of the file. Page one-hundred and eighteen, listed the seven broken ribs, the punctured lung, the results of a CAT scan and the numerous cuts and bruises that had covered the sixteen year olds body.  
  
There was a page in the back of the medical file; a personal account of his health; though it looked more like a diary entry. Anna pushed the sheet under the lamp and leant over her desk a little to read it. A spidery black scrawl wrote,  
  
'I hurt all the time, the bruises make me look like an alien, I'm more blue than white. My skin burns whenever they put the Iodine on me, I think I'm allergic but no one will give me a test or anything. I find it hard to sleep at night, I can't breathe very well and I'm too scared to go to sleep in case I never wake up. Nobody will talk to me. I hear them saying stuff about me. They think I must be crazy… or evil or something… but no one asks me why.   
  
Gillis came to identify Frank's body today. I wasn't supposed to see him but they took me late for my X-ray. He looked at me; he knew… he knew why I did it. He's the only one… I'll never see Lil again. Her God forsook me. No one notices, no one cares, and I doubt they ever will.'  
  
Anna couldn't help but cry. That man had brought out her deepest fears earlier that day; he'd drawn out her most terrible experiences ever and what she wanted more than anything right now was to give him a hug and tell him… and tell him she cared; that she noticed and that she'd be there for him.  
  
She read over the words again. They were barely legible, which could have been why no one noticed….  
  
"Oh my God!" she said suddenly fully awake. "That's it!"   
  
Her finger ran over the lines again, as though the newly discovered truth would soak into her through osmosis. Denver's words spoke to her in a faltering voice.  
  
'Gillis came to identify Frank's body today…He knew why I did it… I'll never see Lil again.' 


	5. A Step Too Far

Sun shone through the shiny black blind in Anna's study and she squeezed her eyes shut tightly as it's glare made her head ache. Her limbs were stiff from sleeping hunched over her desk, and she stretched and tensed her back trying to get the kinks out. Her eye caught sight of Denver's image on the file once more and she shivered; while at the same time giving him a sorrowful smile. If only she'd been there for him back then, maybe none of this would ever have happened. Maybe then he wouldn't be awaiting electrocution at the hands of the Texas state judiciary system.  
  
She moved through her luxurious apartment towards the bedroom and spent the following hour and a half trying to find some suitable clothing. It was never appropriate to dress too officially when meeting a client but her other clothes were either far too dressy or just lounge wear. After a long time had passed in which she moved practically all her clothes from the wardrobe to a huge pile on the bed, she eventually decided on a pair of dark blue jeans and a grey vest with a loose white blouse over it. She put her hair up and made sure she wore a little rouge in order to hide any embarrassing red cheeks she might find herself with. Then realising the time she quickly gathered up her papers and the forms she had to have Denver sign ,and headed out to drive towards Fort Worth in the rain.  
  
It wasn't until she pulled up outside, that she began to get nervous again. Okay she'd found a different side of him last night… but that was him thirteen years ago, what's to say he isn't too far gone to be helped?   
  
'Anna, what if he really is like people tell you?'  
  
She was about to give in to her nerves when she saw Mr Whitmore walking towards her car from where he'd parked his pick-up. She smiled at him and swallowed hard. There was no easy way to go back now and she couldn't really leave him like that… not when she knew the truth… Denver needed her, even if he didn't know it yet.  
  
"Good morning Mr Whitmore." She said softly. He gave her a broad smile and squinted at her as the sun began to show its face once more.  
  
"Hi Dr Darwin, how are you this morning? I noticed you left rather quickly yesterday; Bayliss didn't upset you did he?" Her immediate reaction wasn't to say yes and run away before she had to see Denver herself; but to cover for him anyway she could. She knew the guards sometimes took it upon themselves to discipline the prisoners and she had read reports of what they had done to Denver. She wasn't going to be responsible for something like that.  
  
"We had a bit of a face off; I guess you could call it. I told him to be a little more respectful towards me if he wants me to help him. We all have feelings Mr Whitmore, I don't see why I should take any crap from him, whether I get paid to, or not!"  
  
Fred seemed to have an admiration for her honesty and the genuine compassion she seemed to be showing for her client. Fred was softening to Denver. Their conversations had become more frequent and he was beginning to see that things were far from the black and white view he'd had of death row, before he started working there. It was these considerations that made him finally ask what had been on his mind all night.   
  
"Dr Darwin, could I ask you something?" Anna nodded and locked her car. "Do you think Denver should be executed for what he has done?"   
  
"No!" she said bluntly. "I don't believe in taking anyone's life away, whatever they've done. What gives one person the right to decide something like that? We call people like Denver evil for doing something so terrible in a senseless moment of anger or emotional breakdown, and yet we think we are right to kill him… We, the sensible, educated and morally dignified society, decide that it is right to take his life. He acted in a moment of madness or insanity or even out of pure cruelty… and did something… something very, very wrong. To punish him for that, we do the same, only we think we are right and proper in doing so." Fred was looking at her with surprise. This was quite a rant, and he'd only expected a yes or no. "I'm sorry, I just feel very strongly about this. I just think that if you kill him… what if someone were to find there was more to his actions and that he didn't deserve to die? When he's dead how are you supposed to take it back?" Fred nodded solemnly.   
  
"So you think you can save him?" he asked as they began to walk towards the entrance.  
  
"I intend to do my very best to save him; even if he deserves to be behind bars for his whole life; at least then he has the possibility of change."  
  
She went into the lobby and Fred left her to go and collect Denver from his cell. Ms McIntyre was there again and didn't seem in a friendly mood at all, having heard Anna rationalize Denver's behaviour that way. Anna kept her silence and followed her instructions without a lot of eye contact.  
  
Denver was waiting for her when she was finally taken to the same little visiting room they had been in, the previous day.  
  
"Good morning, Denver." She said, trying to hide her uneasiness from him, for fear of him starting to dissect her behaviour again. He stood up and gave her a nervous smile as she removed the files from her bag and placed them on the table with shaking hands.  
  
"Anna," he said hesitantly, "Can I call you Anna?" She nodded but didn't say anymore. "I'm sorry I upset you yesterday." She almost dropped her bag to the floor in amazement. Of all the greetings she had expected this was the long shot she never believed would come.  
  
"I shouldn't… I never meant to hurt you… I can be a real idiot sometimes… what happened to you is none of my business… I just… well I know what it's like to…" He was really having trouble getting his words out today and she remembered his diary entry and how that same little boy was still inside him somewhere; unaccustomed to feeling what she considered normal adult emotions.  
  
"Denver, its okay; it was a long time ago… you weren't to know… thank you for your apology… really, you don't need to worry about me."  
  
"Someone does." He said quickly. She looked at him with wide eyes and caution crept into his voice once more. "Who was it?"  
  
"My father." She answered timidly. Fred had left and she felt a little scared to be so candid with this 'dangerous' and manipulative man. Denver looked down at his feet and she watched as he seemed to move through anger and disbelief to a strange abstract kind of concern. She looked away at the papers before her and was considering asking him about Lil, when she heard him move towards her.   
  
Fear gripped her momentarilly and she didn't know what to do. She glanced at the alarm button on the wall, looked for Fred out in the doorway… then time seemed to slow.  
  
"I shouldn't do this." He said, in little more than a whisper. He lifted his arms so that his hands would just about reach around her waist. She looked at him; knowing with one look in his pale blue eyes that he didn't want to hurt her. He actually looked rather shy and scared. She turned to him as he shuffled towards her slowly and put his hands on her hips.  
  
"I'm sorry." He muttered in a faltering voice,as she stood only inches away from him. His strong hands pressed lightly on the denim of her pants and he watched her warily. She wondered what he was sorry for exactly. For hurting her feelings, for trying to hold her, or for all that had happened to her in the past which he had absolutely no control over. Then just as his eyes moved away from her and he was about to let his body follow them; she moved into his arms. Her hands moved around his hips and smoothed up his back until finally they rested on his shoulders and she pulled him ever so softly, against her body.  
  
"Thank you, Denver." She whispered into his ear as her head dropped onto his shoulder and her curls tickled his neck. He'd never felt anything like it before. No one had ever held him like that in his life. It was a brief moment in time for they moved apart after only a few seconds. It was enough.  
  
When he stepped back, his eyes were hazy and glued to hers. She knew they had both needed it to happen and she resolved to never tell anyone what had occured between them.  
  
"I know you are meant to help me Anna, but you know… if you ever need someone… I want us to be friends. I never had real friends… I never…" This was hard for both of them.  
  
"I know, Denver. No one was there for you when…when you were little. You deserved better… I want to make things better… I want to make it easier for you. Denver I won't let them kill you."   
  
He felt like crying. She was everything he'd wished for. She was telling him it was okay to hope, to dream… she was telling him…"   
  
"Denver, I know why you killed Frank Gillis. I know why you feel the way you do about me… Denver I need you to tell me exactly what has happened to you. Why you did these things?"  
  
"Anna, I don't want to." He said vehemently. "I don't want to ruin things… you'll leave… I don't care if I die, I deserve it… I just need you to be my..." Anna reached over the table and held his hand.  
  
"Denver, I've read every word in your file. I know how many people you've hurt, exactly how you killed Frank and how you killed Randy Davis and Thomas Rowntree; I've seen the photos of Timmy Bailey's body." His face changed before her eyes and there was nothing but fear there. "Denver, I know what everyone else says happened. I want to know what you feel about it."  
  
"It doesn't matter." He said remorsefully. "No one cares what I think." Anna took out page one-hundred and eighteen and started to read.  
  
"Nobody will talk to me. I hear them saying stuff about me. They think I must be crazy… or evil or something… but no one asks me why." She paused, watching his face.   
  
"I'm asking Denver, I care… I noticed… I don't know how much I can do for you, but I'm not going to walk away." She leant across the table and took his face in her hands to force him to look at her. "I'm going to be here till the end… whatever that may be." 


	6. Chance of a Lifetime

Over the consequent few days, Denver told Anna exactly what had happened to him in graphic detail. Not just the crimes, or the guilt and fear… everything. He told her his first memories of his mother. How he thought Lil was his Mom when he was about four years old; despite the fact that she was only two years older than him. She had always cared for him, taught him to read and probably even changed his diapers for all he knew. Connie never liked Denver. He reminded her of the husband that had walked out on her when she was six months pregnant and the idea of supporting two children on limited means, all alone, was way too much for Connie Bayliss. Fortunately Lil was naturally maternal and loved her brother like he was her little baby.   
  
"I owed it to her…" he said softly when asked about what happened in juvenile hall. "She was all I had in the world and he hurt her so bad… she used to be so happy, so full of life… he took that away from her." Denver knew he had to be careful when talking about that kind of stuff for Anna's sake and he often fell silent, mid-sentence, while he considered the sympathetic way to say things.  
  
"I met her, you know, Denver." Anna said looking up over her spectacles and absently nibbling on the end of her pen. He looked surprised. "I drove out to see her last weekend, I have some friends in Breckenridge, and it isn't too much further to see Lil…"  
  
"I wouldn't know." He said a little harshly. Anna felt guilty. Theirs was a strange relationship; a kind of intricate balance of guilt and loneliness combined with the desire to improve one another's life by just being together for whatever time they could get.  
  
"She misses you Denver, she asked if you would want her to come and see you. She was hurt that you don't reply to her letters. I think…"  
  
"I don't want to see her." He said quickly, "Anna this isn't up to you. I…"  
  
"Denver, don't shut me out. I know she doesn't know what you did for her, I think it's admirable that you want to protect her; I wish someone had done something for me. I wish you'd been…" What was she saying? What was she thinking? Did she really wish Denver had protected her the way he had with Lil… did she really wish he'd been there to kill her father all those years ago?  
  
"I don't want to see her Anna; it hurts to know I'm in here and I've gone through all this because of her. I don't want to blame her for this, it isn't her fault… I did what I did to protect her… Anna he was going to do it again. He told me how he'd hurt her, how she'd begged him to stop, pleaded with her God to make him leave her alone. He told me how it had felt… he said horrible things…" He began to cry and it felt like such a release, he couldn't consciously hold back the tears.  
  
"I couldn't risk him doing that to her, its wrong. I've killed people and I've beat people, the way they beat me and I didn't feel remorseful. It was me or them and I was damn sure I wasn't going to be killed in here… I never meant to kill Timmy. I wouldn't hurt someone who never hurt me and I would never… I'd never do that."  
  
"Denver, I know what happened. I am trying to get witnesses and any kind of evidence I can. I know that Randy killed three cell mates before he tried to fight you. I know that Thomas Rowntree ganged up on you. Your crimes were wrong but they weren't inexcusable given the circumstances. I want to save you Denver. I can't let you die in this place… I can't leave you like everyone else did. I need you."  
  
It was out before she knew what she was saying. How had this happened, she came here to help him, to prove that he had been mistreated, to save him from the chair, to be his guardian angel or something and instead he was hers. She'd been scared to go near a man since she left home, scared that she'd be hurt again… scared that all men were like her father. But she hadn't felt scared in Denver's arms.   
  
"I need you too, not just because… I don't care if you can't get me out of here… I don't expect you to save me. I just want to hold onto you for as long as I can." He stared at her; his eyes full of emotion. "I think… I never had a girlfriend, you know all about me Anna; you know me better than anyone else ever has… even Lil. I think I'm in love with you… laugh at me if you want… I have nothing to lose in telling you how I feel do I?"  
  
"Denver, if we are having a relationship, I can't represent you anymore. You have a lot to lose in telling me that." She looked into his sad eyes; he looked like a little lost puppy. How could she be doing this to him? What harm would it do to tell a lie? To let him feel close to someone for a while, well surely that would be a kind action, generous and…  
  
Only it wasn't a lie.   
  
"Denver I'm sorry, I have to go; this… I can't do this. I'm your lawyer; it's enough that I'm your friend in a situation like this…" She sounded as flustered as she felt; he had to know she was lying. "Denver I can't be your girlfriend, I have to go to court to protect you, to get you out of this place… I can't do that if… I just can't."  
  
"If what, Anna?" He said bluntly, "If I want you to be more than my lawyer, more than my friend… you see I'd rather have a month with you than a lifetime knowing I had to deny what I feel. I can't stop thinking about you… all the time; I want to be with you… I want…"  
  
"Denver! Please Denny, you have to stop. I can't… I… you mean a lot to me, talking to you this last week… Denver we just can't do this. It's not professional."  
  
He protested as much as he could; almost pleaded with her to stay, but she couldn't do it. She gathered her stuff together and gave him one last regretful look before leaving him.  
  
That night Denver was lying on his bed refusing to eat his dinner again when Fred finally decided to say something.  
  
"Hell, Bayliss anyone would think you were love sick the way you have lost your appetite and spend every night pinning." He laughed and Denver scowled at him angrily. It hurt to be refused by the only woman he'd ever felt anything for. He thought it was worth the risk in telling her; that maybe it would make his last few weeks easier. He'd hoped…  
  
"Its Anna isn't it? Denver man, you seriously think a woman like that would want you. She is a sweet girl, she…"  
  
"Fuck off!" Denver spat, jumping up from his bed and glaring angrily at Fred Whitmore through his cell bars. "Just leave me the fuck alone. What do you know, eh? How do you…" He paused, feeling the aggression boiling inside him. "Just leave me alone!"  
  
He lay on his bed and pretended to read Nietzsche, the guards were mostly too stupid to interact with him when he read existentialist philosophy. In case he actually came across as having more intellect than them. Tonight it would give him the peace to sit and think without further interruption. Or so he thought.  
  
"Denver! Hey Denver man, you have to help me." As Hank told him about his girlfriend he found it hard not to imagine Anna. As Hank described his girl in detail, it was Anna he was dreaming he was with. Her hands were on him again, holding him the way she had that day last week…clinging to him as though she felt the same. Touching him in a way beyond that of his posters or the porno magazines he hid under his mattress; touching him like he was the only thing in the world that could give her peace.  
  
'You seriously think a woman like that would want you?' He couldn't find release that night; not physically or mentally. What if she never came back? You've blown it man, you don't have a hope. The tears came in a hushed and impassioned sob. It hurt more than any beating ever had, rejection letters for clemency couldn't hurt more than this.   
  
The hope was fading and as he dreamt of her lying in his arms in the woods, even his dreams seemed to cause him pain. His one escape was poisoned by her refusal of him and now he had nothing, nobody, and nowhere to go to hide from the agony he felt in his heart. 


	7. Twisted Hearts

Anna had been working in the library at her office, all night. She gazed down at three pages of handwritten notes. Four days doing research had produced only one witness that would significantly aid Denver's cause, and she was losing hope. The wife of Ray Barrage; a prisoner who was killed by Randy Davis; would speak for her client and therefore show that his previous conviction of second degree murder should be overturned for a plea of self defence. No one would come forward to argue that Rowntree was a bully and tortured his fellow convicts for fun, until Denver killed him, no one was brave enough to stand up against Rowntree's circle; and not a soul would even speak of Timmy Bailey.  
  
Anna was lost, and as she leant over her few witness statements, knowing they wouldn't be enough, she closed her eyes and saw his face again. How could she tell him this? There had to be someone… someone had to be able to speak for him. She had to convince someone of the truth, that only she knew. She couldn't let him die, knowing that…  
  
"Why is this, such an impossible cause?" she said to herself in exasperation.  
  
"Because he is guilty as sin!" said a female voice behind her. It was her friend Alice; she had been working at Foster, Schmidt and Martinson just a week longer than Anna and they had become good friends in the year and a half there, but Alice didn't know Anna the way Denver did. Why had she let him get so close to her? Why had he been the one to break her silence after all this time?  
  
"No he isn't, Alice." Anna snapped. "You don't know the case, you don't know him…" For a moment her friend was dumbstruck, and then she sort of began to smirk.  
  
"You have a thing for him, don't you Dr Darwin." Anna blushed a little, and glanced down at her work. Alice found it all very funny, "Oh my God, you really do!" She laughed.  
  
"Oh, don't be ridiculous, Alice!" she said trying to cover herself. This had started out as a silly taunt but Anna knew only too well what it could mean for Denver if anyone found out about them.  
  
"What is it, Anna? You like it rough?" Alice laughed; to her this was just a silly joke but it meant a whole world more to Anna. As the mention of sex; particularly the rough kind she had been subject to against her will for so many years, chilled her blood; it was Denver she wished was there to hold her again. She might be able to lie to her friend, but no matter what she tried to think, she couldn't lie to herself.  
  
"Alice, I'm doing my job. Mr Bayliss isn't how these people think he is… maybe it's my development training, but I believe there is more to him than this stupid file!"  
  
Alice went away and left Anna to her work, but it was clear that she knew what was going on. Anna was more afraid now of losing her job as his lawyer than she was of losing the case. Somehow it made sense that the time they had, was precious. All she wanted at that moment was to be with him. Just to feel cared for again… to feel safe. Whatever he called her, lawyer, friend, lover… she knew all they needed was to be close to one another.  
  
It was six in the morning and she wasn't meant to go and visit until after the breakfast rounds had been made at eight.   
  
"To hell with that!" she muttered as she hurriedly began packing up her things. "I've wasted four days without him, what's the point in being alone, when I can be near the only man I've ever been able to trust."  
  
Fred wandered down the tier sleepily. It had been a long night. Hope and he had been arguing at home and Lionel had been acting up again. God, he wished he could just be a cop; he enjoyed working for the police department. It felt good to help and protect people… instead of… instead of this…  
  
"Denver! Wake up!" he said in a firm but hushed voice. Denver squinted open his eyes and yawned. The cell was in darkness still and it hurt to move.   
  
"What happened? You and Jimmy go at it again?" Fred said, worried for Denver's well being. He pulled himself slowly off the bed and winced at the pain in his jaw and ribs. As he came closer, Fred saw the marks on his skin; all purple and red from the violent strike of the baton.  
  
"How the fuck is another inmate going to lay a baton across my face?" Denver said in his gravely tone.  
  
As Denver explained a little more of prison life; Fred became aware of how awfully the guy was treated. How they were all treated. Only he had been there since he was fourteen. Was it any wonder that he was so angry, manipulative and violent all the time? This time it was just too much. As he strode off to try and get something done about the situation, he told Waylon to take Denver down to see his lawyer.  
  
"What, he has a visitor, this time in the morning?" the new boy asked. Fred just glared at him and he knew not to question any further. Fred seemed to be causing quite a stir within the row and Waylon Carter wasn't going to be the one to bear the brunt of it.  
  
Anna waited quietly in the visiting room. It seemed colder so early in the morning, and it made her shiver in her red silk dress and a small shapely leather coat. She'd intended to go out with the partners last night and was dressed to suit; only it wasn't much fun and she'd rather be working on helping Denver than drinking with a bunch of uptight business goons. She wiped at her nose with a small pink handkerchief and brushed a stray hair from her eyes.  
  
Denver was brought in and she spun round keenly in her chair. He looked happy to see her… relieved to see her. The guard obviously hadn't told him who his visitor was and he seemed to melt as he saw she'd come back to him. The guard saw the worried look on Anna's face and felt nervous about having to explain the way Denver had been beaten.  
  
"I'll wait outside Dr Darwin, if you need anything…" Anna nodded and waved her hand for him to go. No sooner was the short squat fellow out of the door, when she went to Denver and gently took his face in her soft hands.  
  
"What happened to you?" She asked anxiously. "Were you fighting again? Did someone try…"  
  
"Lionel happened, Anna." She stroked the tender flesh of his jaw and gently felt for any broken bones. "Anna, its okay… don't worry."  
  
"Someone has to!" she said with a slight smile at the reversal of their previous situation. She made him open his mouth and ran a finger over the inside of his right cheek. He was shaking and his mouth grew moist. "I don't think you have busted any teeth. I'm going to get you a doctor and I'm going…" She didn't have the chance to say anymore as his lips closed over hers and she felt his chains press around her stomach as he tried desperately to pull her into his arms.  
  
"Anna, I love you." He groaned against her lips as he tried to kiss her deeply. His inexperienced mouth seemed to suck at her without any tenderness and it filled her with fear.  
  
She was scared of his forcefulness, of the feelings he was awakening inside her, and of his words. She freed her hands from between them and pushed hard on his chest.  
  
"Denver, no, stop!" She spoke in a timid voice and he suddenly realised that she was crying. "Please, Denver. I… you're frightening me!" He pulled back from her quickly and stared at her with dread in his bruised eyes. She knew he hadn't meant to hurt her; his kiss was clumsy not cruel. He waited for her to yell at him or hit him or something but nothing came.  
  
"I thought… the way you touched me Anna, I thought you felt it too."  
  
Anna didn't know how to react. He'd scared her… reminded her of bad things, but in his eyes there was something she'd never seen before. He really did love her and he was terrified of doing anything to hurt her.  
  
"Anna, I can't do this stuff… I don't know how to feel… it breaks my heart that you won't… that you don't want me. I want to be with you, drop the case… please?" Her face fell. It wasn't that she was annoyed at him not wanting her to help him or that she was scared by his attempts at affection, but that he was saying the things she had thought only a few hours before. It wasn't just her crazy imagination or some sort of game. He loved her and she…  
  
"I have to do my job Denver. This has gone too far, it's not right… I could get struck off and as for you… Denver, if they think I'm pleading your innocence because I want to sleep with you or something… they won't… you'll go to the chair…"  
  
"What about what's right in here, Anna? He said lifting his chained hands up to press the palms against her chest. "What about the way you feel, in here?"  
  
They stood staring into each others eyes until Lionel burst in and shouted at Waylon for leaving them unguarded.  
  
"But Lieutenant, I am not supposed…" Lionel looked furious and Denver watched him distrustfully. Somehow Lionel knew just how to hurt Denver most, despite not managing to catch them in any kind of clinch. He'd heard of how the guy had been getting along with his new lawyer and he's caught him talking in his sleep a few times too.  
  
"Dr Darwin, there is a man waiting for you in the lobby, says his name is Lucas… is he your boyfriend or something?"  
  
"That's none of your business, Mr McMannis." She scowled back at him. Anna told Denver she had to leave; that it would be important if Luc had come over here to see her.   
  
She was pleased that she had an excuse to escape his questions. She needed to think… she needed to be alone. Her brother would only be dropping by for the day; he never saw the need to push the family thing when Anna clearly hated it. Even if he had some important family news… it wasn't really very important to Anna… she had said many times since her mother passed on, that Luc was her only family now. She saw no reason to dredge up the past and how they had all let her down… Luc was too young to understand. It didn't matter anymore.  
  
Denver felt as thought the sky had come crashing down on him. Not only had she not wanted him and had rejected his advances, but she had someone else. How could the world be any crueller? Waylon came to take him back to his cell and he walked in silence, barely lifting his head to look where he was going.  
  
"You've got no one Bayliss!" Lionel hissed in his ear while Waylon opened the gate to his tier. "People might think they can help you, but they are gone now… Nobody is there for you at night are they Denver… you don't have no one to keep the cold out, do you boy?"   
  
Denver never looked up and didn't even respond when he was let back into his cell and the bars closed behind him. Lionel watched as he slumped down on the bed and softly ran a finger over his lips. He could still taste her…  
  
"You had better watch yourself Bayliss or you might find yourself in a lot of trouble before you go." Lionel sneered at him through the iron bars, hoping to find some reason to beat up on him again. Denver didn't care anymore… the sooner the better. There was no hope left to live for now; every day was a new heartache that made him wish his heart would just stop. 


	8. Forgiveness

"So why have you come here, Luc?" Anna asked of her brother, as they sat in the park land beyond the grounds of her apartment. Luc took a sip of the rich blended coffee she had made for them and moved around to sit more comfortably on the picnic blanket.  
  
"I mean I'm glad to hear you are doing so well and it's always pleasurable to catch up with you… but I know you well enough, little brother, to know that you are keeping something back."  
  
Luc sighed; he hadn't been looking forward to this moment at all. He hadn't known for years, what went on behind the locked doors of their seven bedroom estate on the south coast of England. He didn't realise what his sister was subject too while their mother was dying. When he did eventually discover the truth it was too late to make any changes.   
  
"Father is dying. He doesn't have long left…" Luc couldn't forgive the old man anymore than his sister, but for the memory of his mother… "He wants to see you."  
  
Anna laughed out loud. It was too much of a shock for her to even absorb what her sibling was suggesting.  
  
"He wants to make his peace with you before he dies…" Luc paused; his sister was an esteemed and successful lawyer, how was he meant to plead a case for the man that they both wished had died in place of their mother years ago.  
  
"Lucas, how do you think he can do that?" She said fighting the urge to break down. "That man abused me for eleven and a half years, he did things… Luc… he did things that no man should do… let alone a father… let alone my own father." She took a deep breath and held it a moment before letting the air puff from her nose, as her face clenched with the pain of the memories. "How can you make peace with someone you raped hundreds of times? How can you do that Lucas?"  
  
It hurt Luc to hear these things but it was no more than he had expected. His father had pleaded with him, on his only visit, and begged him for the memory of his loving mother to try and reunite their family before it was too late.  
  
"You give time to worse criminals…" Luc began. Anna was immediately sent into a raging fury.  
  
"How dare you!" she said in a barely restrained temper. Her voice practically hissed with venom as she glared at her brother. "How dare you quantify what happened to me! How dare you even begin to suggest what happened to me was… was what Lucas? Are you saying that murder is worse than rape; worse than years and years of being subjected to that bastard doing things… do you know what he made me do Lucas… do you know what he liked to do to me?" Luc turned his face from hers and Anna felt a twinge of remorse for the anger she was issuing at her brother.  
  
"Anna, I'm not trying to belittle what happened… I know he forced you to do things… he admitted what he did was wrong… he knows it was wrong of you to do those things…"  
  
"Wrong of me?" She gasped. "Wrong of me? Are you saying it is my fault? Are you saying that I wanted him to do it, Luc? I did those things because he told me that he would start on Sarah and you, if I didn't do as he asked." She met her brother's eyes and saw the tears that welled up in them.  
  
"I stayed there until you and Sarah left home because I knew he'd hurt you with me gone… and he… father… our father knew exactly what hold he had over me. You think he wants to reunite our family? He just wants to believe he can make some peace with God before he goes… well even if God will forgive him… I never will!" Anna got up and left her brother.  
  
"So you'll fight for a man who kills people and is going to the chair in a fortnight but you won't give up your time for your family?" Luc cried after her. She turned sharply and looked at her brother.  
  
"Denver is more of a man than our father could ever dream of being in a million years. That monster, you call a father, will receive no pity or forgiveness from me. He can burn in hell for all I care. Did you ever think maybe God has already judged him, Luc? Maybe that's why he's dying in agony. Maybe his pitiful plea for forgiveness is just too late. He had years to change, Lucas… he knew what he did to me was wrong… when I told him over and over to stop, when I begged him to see sense… do you know what he told me?" Her brother gazed back at her with tears running down his face.  
  
"He told me that some people just can't help but be evil… that sometimes a man can enjoy the sin so much that it no longer matters who is hurt…" Her brother wept into his open palms and couldn't look at her.  
  
"I just wanted you to be there for me, Anna. I know he doesn't deserve our forgiveness… he begged Anna, he begged me to be there to see him go and he told me it was what Mother wanted… I can't do it alone Anna. Sarah won't… I need you… he hurt me too!"  
  
It was this last statement that made her turn back. She looked down at her brother and knelt to take his hands from his face and stroke his red hair as she'd always done when he had a nightmare or was sick.  
  
"I don't claim to have suffered how you did Anna, he only… it was only once. He thought… he didn't realise I could fight back… I should have killed him Anna. I should have killed the bastard then and there!" Her brother sobbed into her arms and she let herself cry for him now too.  
  
"I never knew, Luc. I never knew…" She whispered as she held him close. He lifted his head to look at her and as his glassy eyes started to sting with the drying tears. Then he spoke with a strong and determined voice.  
  
"I want to watch him die Anna. I want to watch him suffer. I want to see him off to hell knowing he'll never get the forgiveness he seeks…" She hushed her brother. "Anna it isn't him I want you to come home for… it's me… it's us. He was never our family, not since Mum died. Please Anna? This guy you are working for… he's going to the chair… please?"  
  
Anna was torn up inside. She had honestly thought her staying had protected her siblings from their father; she had tried to dedicate her life to finding some way to prove the old bastard wrong. To prove that people could change; that even the worst criminals could be worth life; even a life that had to be lead away from society. Denver had given her that proof. He had given her the peace she had sought for most of her life; he had given her hope and dreams and… his heart."  
  
"Lucas, it won't fix things to see him die. He… maybe people can change from whatever evil they have become… maybe they just have to want to. He never wanted to change; he would still be doing it if he wasn't such a weak old fool." This scared her brother and she knew why.  
  
"Are you thinking it runs in the family?" Luc looked surprised but she knew him well enough to know that it was surprise at being found out, rather than the obscurity of her statement. "I worried about that for years too. He didn't hurt us because of his inherent evil, not because of his nature or the tragedy of losing his wife… but because he chose to. Luc you could never be like him. You shouldn't waste time on thoughts like that. You have a good heart and I know you just want to make things right…"  
  
"Anna, I just want to know it's over…" She looked into his green eyes; still wet from the fresh tears.  
  
"It has to be over in here, Luc." She said, pressing her hands to his chest, the way Denver had done to her. "He told us what to do all through our childhood, Luc. It's time we told ourselves, it's finished."  
  
In order to keep their family together as Luc had wanted; Anna spent the next few days really catching up with her brother. She gave him a tour of Dallas and they drove out to the desert to watch the stars they had wished on for so many years as kids. When finally they felt almost content lying out under the dark night sky, naming stars from memory, Luc gave his sister a hug and told her he loved her.  
  
"So what do you wish for now it's all over, Anna?" He asked as he dropped back onto the dusty ground with his hands behind his head.  
  
Anna gazed up at Sirius, the brightest star in the sky and her heart knew what she wanted more than anything. She closed her eyes and saw Denver's eyes, as thought they were only inches from her own; the love they held for her and the desire that he harboured for her, that could barely be constrained. She knew what mattered now… she knew where she should be.   
  
"Now Luc, you know it won't come true if I tell you!" She laughed, beginning to gather up the things so they could start the drive home. "Besides, I'd never risk it by telling you."  
  
He laughed and got up to help her. "You know Sis, you're the bravest person I ever knew." She turned to him surprised. She'd never felt brave… it was her fear that kept her back all the time… fear of failing, fear of losing, fear of getting hurt… fear of trying. She smiled at her brother and told him to get in the car and stop mucking around.  
  
As they drove silently home, content to play with their thoughts for a while… Anna began to wonder about her fears and her courage. Maybe she didn't have to be scared anymore… maybe she had found what was more important than being afraid… Maybe her wish had already begun to come true. 


	9. Open Your Heart

A prisoner on the second tier had hung himself the day before he went to the chair. The whole of the east wing had been buzzing with guards ever since; and even with all this unexpected activity, Denver couldn't think of anything but Anna.  
  
"But the understanding cannot relieve the pain, and its only thoughts of her that get you through each day." Denver dictated to Hank to help him write to his girlfriend, but it wasn't the woman he had on his mind.  
  
He was jealous of this Lucas guy; he didn't even know what he looked like, who he was or what he did… but he was envious of him all the same. He thought of this thriving, handsome, business executive all well-dressed and charming and… and hers. It was the 'hers' that made it so hard. He was an intelligent young man and if it wasn't for the fact that he was on death row and had a terrible upbringing and somewhat dubious hygiene regime … he could pass himself off as a pretty respectable guy. His inexperience wouldn't be a problem… not with his charm… or was that manipulative nature. Okay he was a waste of her time… Fred's words had repeated over and over in his head for the last four days.  
  
'What would a woman like that, want with you?'  
  
That night as he lay in his bed, nursing the wounds Lionel had freshly bestowed upon him; he couldn't get the thought of her hands on his skin; from his mind. They way she'd gently caressed his face… her fingers in his mouth, the soft skin of her fingers sliding along his moist yielding gums. He couldn't have stopped himself kissing her if he'd tried.  
  
He remembered every sensation of her kiss. She had only slightly parted her lips to his and her tongue had probably not meant to brush over his own; the force of her lips against his, would have been more due to the panic she felt; and her sighs… the sighs he'd at first thought, had mirrored his own, were in fact gasps of fright.  
  
Again all he had wanted was to feel close to her, to be a part of her; and again he'd hurt her. Maybe he wasn't good enough to be hers. Maybe he wasn't good enough for any decent woman… any woman at all.  
  
As he drifted into a painful sleep, he found himself imagining being with her. Anna wanted him in his dreams… she loved him like he loved her and they were happy together… but then this dream darkened suddenly.   
  
Instead of her adoring him and smothering him in kisses, he found that the scratching on his back was in desperation. The look in her eyes wasn't lust and desire but fear and dread. She tried to push him away from her, but he held her firmly. She tried to shout for help, but the hand that he thought was caressing her cheek as he made love to her, was now muffling her cries. She was trying to make him stop any way she could… but he was lost in his own need. As he ploughed into her and closed his ears and eyes to her pleas, she sobbed and begged for him to stop…  
  
Denver woke in a cold sweat and shivered in the darkness for a few moments before the reality sunk in. Then with agony in his heart, he wept openly, clutching at his pillow and trying to hide his pain from Waylon who patrolled past the gates of cell 107 periodically.  
  
"Bayliss!" He was startled to hear the young guard call out to him, but moved carefully so that Waylon couldn't see his face. "Are you sick?"  
  
"No!" he said quickly, "I'm okay I just… I had a nightmare. Don't mind me…" Waylon gave him one last look and then went on his way. Denver pulled the blankets up around his face and closed his eyes.  
  
"I couldn't do that." He whispered to himself. "I wouldn't… not Anna… I…" he drifted to sleep again and seemed to mutter to himself almost silently, all night long.  
  
He'd dreamt that he became both their worst nightmares, and he'd woken up aroused… how could he be that person… how could he think such a terrible thing… how could he become Frank so easily. Maybe he was a monster…Maybe he deserved death after all.  
  
"Bayliss, you have a visitor!" Denver had been awake for a little over an hour and after spending almost half of that time staring in the mirror pretending to shave; music started playing in the halls and he told himself he had to think of something else. That he couldn't keep torturing himself like this; wishing in vain that she would change her mind.   
  
He let the music take him; lighting another cigarette he exhaled slowly as he began to sway to the voice as it took him somewhere else. Maybe he could just close that part of himself off; the way he did when they threw him in the hole. Maybe he could pretend she was all part of that dream… part of his imagination. Part of the other life, he lived in his head. But all the wishing and conjecture was for nothing now.  
  
"Who is it, man? My lawyer?" his pulse rate jumped and he felt himself tense at the thought of her actually coming back to him again. Who was he trying to kid? He couldn't get her out of his thoughts… with only a matter of days left to live, he wondered if he would think of anything else again.  
  
He didn't want to see his sister. He'd told Anna not to ask her to come; he'd told her it was too hard for him, that it woke too many memories.  
  
"Who else have you got?" Fred asked him with a real concern in his eyes.   
  
Maybe she was punishing him… maybe he'd pushed Anna too far and she was using the information she had gleaned about his feelings, to hurt him in return. Maybe she wanted him to face his pain, the way he'd unknowingly made her do. Although then, there was a difference; he had been there to help her. Where was she when he needed her? Why wasn't she here with him to help him through this? Why had she walked away when he had given her everything he had to give? Why couldn't she love him?  
  
He sighed wearily at Fred and acknowledged his thoughts; truly beginning to believe that he was right. He didn't have anyone else but it didn't make it any easier to see his sister and he was angry at Anna for making him.  
  
"Hi Denny, it's so good to see you." His sister smiled her eyes bright and full of cheer. The memory of her in the courtroom, the day he was sent from juvenile hall, popped into his head and he felt that same lie boiling inside him… If only she'd known why he did it. Since the victim was under age, no one used his name in open-court the day of Denver's sentencing. Lil never knew it was Frank, who Denver had beaten to death. She never knew the pain that began that day in return for her safety. Denver cringed as he sat down; trying to swallow those feelings and the unbidden resentment he was beginning to feel.  
  
'How could you put me through this, Anna?' he thought to himself as Lil started to go on about her family. Hell! Even the pleasantries hurt.   
  
The kids; his sister's happy little kids, they had the hope he'd never experienced… they had a Mom and Dad that loved them, a roof over their heads. Sure Bill worked hard and from what he remembered, his sister worked at least two jobs to support her husbands changing income. But the lot of them had things he had never known. Lil had been given her chance to have a proper life… he had given her that hope, that freedom and now…  
  
"Matthew Denver." He said with a wry smirk. For the briefest moment he allowed himself to dream and a smile began to curl his lips.  
  
'What would Anna and I have called our kids?'  
  
No, he had to get away from such thoughts… small talk; he had to think of something else…anything but her. He and Lil laughed over memories but it wasn't long before they cut too close once more. Why did he have so much hatred inside him… he loved his sister… why did he just hate to have her near him like this.  
  
His answer came as she began to tell him how she explained his absence. Uncle Denver was away because he did wrong and he was being punished. Hell it made him so angry. He was away; Uncle Denver was away because… if he wasn't they may well have an older brother just like Frank, that if Denver wasn't behind bars right now… then maybe Lil wouldn't have all those smiles for her children everyday… maybe Lil wouldn't be around for them at all… maybe she'd be just like her own mother.  
  
The idea of nothing changing made it hurt all the more. This had to be worth something. What he had done, had to mean something to someone… his life had to be worth something surely.  
  
As Lil began to tell him he had to make his peace with her God, the rage boiled inside him so that he couldn't think of anything but pain and suffering and loneliness and… and never knowing what it was to feel happy.  
  
"All you have to do is open your heart…" his sister's voice didn't seem her own anymore. His mind was spinning, leaping and vaulting on memories and feelings that he had locked away for so long.   
  
Open his heart? Open his heart? That's exactly what he had done and where did it get him? As Lil began to read out the words of her Lord, he looked down at his hands, they tightened in his lap and he imagined Anna was there to take them in her own and… receive him as the angel he saw her to be.  
  
"The holy breath shall teach you in your hour of need…" He could almost feel her breathing in his ear as she'd thanked him… that first time she let him close. The day he'd realised he was in love with her. He had to be with her, he had to feel something…  
  
As his sister screamed and beat at his chest trying to make him stop he realised what he was doing. No one would hear him moaning Anna's name above Lil's screams, no one would know what he was really feeling… and he'd never tell. As he watched his sister run from the room in tears he felt bad for what he'd done… it wasn't her fault. None of this was her fault. Yet she hurt him so much by just being happy. He hated himself all the more and as he remembered his dream the night before, he saw himself turning into that monster… turning into Frank… What had he changed? What difference had he made to anything? All this time spent trying to protect his sister and now he'd just brought it all back for her.  
  
"Why did you do that?" Fred yelled at him. He felt angry and hurt and cruel and… Fred yelled at him; reminding him of all he had done for him since he arrived weeks before.  
  
"This isn't about you, it's about me and her, you son of a bitch!"   
  
The fist connected with his jaw and he knew he deserved it, he knew it was fair. He taunted Fred to hit him again because it was the only way he'd feel like he could make amends for the needless pain he'd just caused. He'd become the monster he'd hoped he could always avoid. He'd hurt his sister. He'd given her one last impression of her brother; that of an evil and cruel man who deserved everything he got.  
  
What scared him most was the realisation that now he no longer deserved her love or her thanks. He'd done something she could never forgive or reason away. As Fred locked him in his cell, once again and stormed off without a word; Denver reached for his pillow and sank his head down into it with a heavy, faltering sigh.  
  
"Anna, can you ever forgive me for this?" he sobbed. "Could you ever open your heart to me?" 


	10. Trick or Treat

Anna got out of bed and walked skittishly towards the bathroom. Luc had left the previous evening and she had been excited about the following morning's activities as soon as the last few days trauma and her brother were on their way out of town. She glanced up into the mirror and caught the smile on her face. After all the pain she'd had to face during the last few days; not to mention the last twenty nine years, she was now relishing any little bit of happiness she could hold onto.  
  
Hastily she showered and fixed her hair up, with damp ringlets of auburn hair sweeping down over her unblemished pale complexion. Her eyes seemed to be shining with a sparkle that she hadn't ever seen there before. She applied a little make-up, very liberally, so as not to draw attention to herself; and a dab of spicy scented perfume behind her ears and gently stroked the remnants down between her generous cleavage. She wore her second best underwear; not wanting to seem too overt in her intentions. The blood red lace and silk gently held her curves and drew attention to just the right places; though she didn't expect such simple things to be needed for Denver to notice her.  
  
Wearing a dark red silk blouse and a slim, russet, A-line skirt with inch high heels, she left the apartment. The car was short on gas and she sighed at the inconvenience of having to take time out of her visit. She threw the brown leather coat and the almost matching battered briefcase over the passenger seat and started the engine.  
  
It was a laborious journey and she hadn't planned for the mid morning rush of traffic on the main street down towards the maximum security prison. The whole journey was accompanied by many weary sighs and the only peace came when she finally pulled into the car park and walked up to the reception entrance.   
  
"Good morning, Dr Darwin." Fred said with a certain vexation in his voice. Anna looked a little concerned as he stood by and waited for her to be searched by Ms McIntyre, as usual. Anna knew not to try and make conversation about her client in front of the middle aged woman by now. It generally caused nothing but trouble, and at best a barrage of mutterings about how 'Bayliss was better off dead'. This was not what Anna needed to hear right now, and she was sure that Ms McIntyre would not really appreciate hearing how Anna had made an in-way to getting Denver's sentence significantly reduced either.  
  
"What's the matter Fred? Is there something I should know about?" Anna asked as they made their way down to the usual visiting room. Denver had already been taken down to the room by Waylon and Fred saw him sitting anxiously in his metal chair.  
  
"I think it's probably best you hear it from Bayliss yourself, Dr Darwin." This immediately put her on edge; as out of all the officers and guards she had met while visiting the place, only Fred called Denver by his Christian name. His dropping of this usual convention made her nervous.  
  
Denver stood up as she entered the room and after meeting her eyes for just a moment, he dropped his glare back to the floor and muttered 'good morning' to her as they both sat down. When Fred and Waylon had left the room, she leaned across the table and patted Denver's hand, which rested awkwardly on the edge of the table between them.  
  
"Fred seemed a bit odd this morning, what's been going on Denver?" she said making his stomach twist into sickening knots. How could he tell her what he had done? She believed in him, she was the only one who did. How could he have failed her so terribly? He didn't know where to start. He felt defensive although he knew that his behaviour the previous day was reprehensible.  
  
"Did you tell my sister to come here?" he asked glancing up at Anna for just the shortest of moments. She shook her head. Although she had told Lil, she would ask Denver for permission to visit; she had completely forgotten to get back to her with his negative response.  
  
"I'm sorry Denver; I have been really busy the last few days and…" He felt angry, not because she had let him down but because he was jealous as hell of the boyfriend he believed she had been so busy with, the last few days.  
  
"I guess I'm not important enough for you to actually pay attention to my wishes, am I?" he snapped. "Don't worry, I don't mind if you want to spend the rest of my life enjoying yourself with your boyfriend!"  
  
That really hurt Anna, and she thought twice about staying to tell him her good news for a moment. She definitely reconsidered telling him how she felt about him. That said she had no choice but to put him straight. After all he had done for her, unknowingly or not; she owed him the truth.  
  
"Denver, that's bullshit!" She retorted just as angrily as him, if not more so. "I didn't have time to call Lil about the visit because I had personal business to deal with. I had some family issues that…" No, why should she let him in when he had snapped at her that way?   
  
She met his eyes then and he didn't look away this time. It was difficult to see if he was looking at her with awe or anger. She was in no doubt that she had always had the ability to bring him down a peg or two and somehow, although the control did nothing for her, she liked to know that he wasn't as macho as he pretended to be with everyone else. She liked that she had the power to make him weak for her and she had begun to realise that he quite liked the feeling too.  
  
"As for a boyfriend, I don't know where you got that idea. I don't have a boyfriend. I haven't had a serious boyfriend in my life… if you want to know who I've been with for the last few days then I don't mind telling you, that it was my little brother. He came over to see me because my father is dying and wanted to see me…"  
  
Denver's face dropped. She was talking in a frustrated haste and he realised that she probably didn't mean to tell him all this stuff. Normally he'd jump on any personal information about one of his visitors and make that person pay for being so candid with him, by tearing them to shreds. Now he just wanted to stop her from spouting all this stuff at him without consideration. He knew that it was some of her deepest fears she was talking about and he also knew that those sorts of things didn't come out easily…  
  
"Anna, I'm so sorry." He said quickly interrupting. "Hell, I never meant to… you don't have to tell me this…"  
  
"Who else would I tell?" she said surprising him again. He had no answer, so she continued. "My father wants me to forgive him… before he dies… he wants my forgiveness." She spoke so coldly as though it was someone else's problems she was giving voice too. "He abused me for almost twelve years Denver, and now I find out he did it to my brother too… how can I forgive him for all that pain, Denver? How can you forgive someone who destroyed your whole life?"  
  
His eyes were glazed over with tears and he was shaking his head slightly from side to side. What answer could he give her? He wasn't the kind of person she should be asking something like that… why on earth would she want his opinion?  
  
"I don't know Anna. I don't think you can forgive someone who does something like that. He was obviously a very sick man…" he trailed off.  
  
"He doesn't regret it Denver. Maybe I could begin to forgive if I thought he was remorseful, if I thought he ever felt bad for what he did. He told me he enjoyed it Denver, he told me he knew it was evil and wrong and he knew what he was doing to me was a sin and that he wanted to do it all the same."   
  
Denver was almost choking on the lump in his throat. He wanted to hold her so much, he wanted to stop her pain forever, he wanted to tell her what he had done and relieve his own guilt and have the forgiveness her father didn't deserve… but truth was he didn't believe he deserved it either.  
  
"I'd kill him if he wasn't better off dying in agony." He said finally. "Anna, I'm sorry…" the tears ran down her face and he wanted so much to comfort her. Seeing her in pain was the worst feeling he'd ever experienced... and there had been a lot of it over the years.  
  
"Anna I have to tell you something and I know you are going to hate me for it, but I have to tell you. I can't lie to you… I can't live with this…" Anna wiped at her eyes and tried to compose herself a little.  
  
"Denver, what is it? What's wrong? Did someone hurt you again?" he shook his head silently.  
  
"I did something really terrible. I don't know what was wrong with me and I'd never… God I could never… I feel so ashamed of myself… I don't think…" He was almost in tears by this point and was gulping hard to try and hold them off. "Yesterday my sister came to visit and it got rather difficult and I did something… I did something really bad." Somehow Anna instinctively knew what was coming.  
  
"You raped her." She said with a shiver that chilled her to her very core.  
  
"No!" he said quickly, "I tried to kiss her… I never would have… I wouldn't do that… I just… the way she was talking and I…" he cut himself off quickly not wanting to give more details in case it seemed he was trying to put the blame on Anna.  
  
"Why?" Anna said simply, "What made you want to do something like that?" Outwardly she seemed to be able to detach herself from the situation expertly, but inside she was deeply disappointed in him. She longed for there to be a valid reason, something she could understand and forgive. The pain of finding out that he was just like her father; the let down of finding that her rationale was wrong... it was almost too much to bear.  
  
"I missed you." He said in barely more than a whisper. "I thought… well when you left. Lionel said that it was your boyfriend that was waiting and I… well I thought… I just wanted someone to hold me and Lil was talking all this stuff about forgiveness and opening my heart… and it was you I wanted there and…" He paused being careful not to place any responsibility on her. "I just lost track of things for a moment and I… I really hurt her and I never meant to bring it all back again… I just… well sometimes, sometimes I feel like it's her fault."  
  
"You blame her, for you being in here?" Anna asked, once again donning her doctor head. Denver shook his head.  
  
"No, I just… sometimes I feel like she gets so condescending of me and I did it to protect her. Anyone I've ever hurt, I did it to protect myself… and to protect my sister. I'd kill anyone who hurt you Anna, I deserve to die if you can't forgive me… you are the only person I have ever loved and if I've hurt you…"   
  
Suddenly the other side of her broke through. Her heart won over any of her rational thought. He was such a sweet man underneath; he was so naïve and innocent of anything emotional, it seemed like she could have forgiven him anything and he was so desperate to be loved. She reached across the table and took his hand in both of hers.  
  
"Denver, you must apologise to Lil. Tell her what you told me and tell her that you never meant to hurt her and…"  
  
"You want me to tell her about us?" He asked before he realised he was probably being far too presumptuous to suggest that there was an 'us' to speak of. "I mean, you want me to tell her about how I feel about you?" Anna smiled at his quick repent.  
  
"That's up to you. You know that if anyone, any of the guards or your council, hear about it, then it can harm your case… but if you want to confide your feelings to your sister…"  
  
"Can you forgive me Anna?" he said in the voice of a child caught stealing change or something.  
  
"It's not me that needs to forgive you, Denver. You hurt Lillian not me. I feel bad that it was my leaving you with such a misunderstanding that led to…"  
  
"No Anna, I wasn't saying it was because of you… please… it was my stupid mistake and I feel awful for it… I just didn't want you to think of me like the monster that your father is." He regretted bringing it up again as soon as the words hit the air between them.  
  
"Denver, you aren't my father. Everything you have done… I have worked on every detail of your case. I probably know as much about your life as I do my own. I know you aren't a monster. Denver, you could never be like him... you could never..." She broke off her sentence as though it pained her even to contemplate the similarities.  
  
"I have good news about your case in fact. I think if Lil, Connie and Gillis can testify for you, I might be able to get your sentence reduced to life imprisonment."  
  
Denver hardly took in the details about his case; all he cared about was that she had said that she could forgive him. He'd thought she'd hate him and he'd never see her again and yet she continued to pleasantly surprise him. In fact she was still holding his hand and as he looked back at her and gave her a little nervous smile, she started to stroke her thumb over the soft skin between his right thumb and forefinger. His mind was swimming again and he wondered at the way the slightest touch of her skin could drive him so crazy.  
  
"Anna, how can you… I'm a really shit person… how can you be so kind to me?" he asked looking down at where her fingers lightly caressed his hand.  
  
"Denver, you aren't a bad person. You are an intelligent and thoughtful man when you want to show it… I know there is more to you than these idiots see." She glanced back at the doorway, and seeing no guards close by, she got up and walked around the table to sit on the edge beside him. "You have been very kind to me and whether you know it or not, you helped me deal with a lot of stuff…" with a glance back at the door she leant forward and kissed his cheek. He stiffened in his seat with surprise and she laughed at his astonishment.  
  
"You don't hate me then?" he asked, a small smile beginning to break his cold exterior.  
  
"No Denny, of course I don't hate you. I care a lot about you. Just stop being an idiot and causing trouble, then I won't have to spend half of my time thinking you are letting me down." He was so eager to please, it was almost pathetic.  
  
"I won't let you down again, Anna. I swear. I'll never hurt you…" she reached out and stroked his cheek, being careful of the cut on his lip and the bruising round his eyes. Unpredictably he didn't try anything and for a second she was almost disappointed. "You look really beautiful today." He said softly. He eyed the folds of her blouse, that in her current position were just creased enough to reveal a little of her lace trimmed brassiere. He subconsciously ran his tongue over his lower lip. His actions were met with a little smile and she once again stroked his face tenderly.   
  
"Not that you don't look hot usually…" she laughed and moved back around to her chair. The move was met with more than a little disappointment from her client.  
  
"Anyway, I'm sorry for all the confusion and I'm sorry I didn't contact Lil earlier. It wasn't too bad… I mean apart from the kissing incident; was it?" Denver shook his head.  
  
"I should have seen her before now; it was just so hard… I'm happy for her… she has sweet kids by the looks of it…"  
  
"Do you want to be a father one day Denver?" Anna asked out of the blue. Denver shrugged and didn't really know how to answer. Thoughts like that rarely entered his mind at all, they seemed so preposterous.   
  
"I guess; I'd like to have been able to have a normal family. Get married and have a few kids and I always wanted to…" he shook his head as though he was being stupid.  
  
"Go on, I thought we were being honest with one another. Aren't we friends?" He smiled and through her he found the courage to continue.  
  
"I dream of one day having a little cabin up in the woods and…" He paused gauging her facial expressions to decide how much he should divulge. "I dreamt we made love in the woods and lay under the stars together all night." He felt so nervous telling her and his stomach tied itself in knots waiting for some kind of response.  
  
"There you see; I knew you had a sweet side." She said taking out a pile of papers and preparing to discuss his case. He wanted to ask her what she thought of it… he wanted to ask if she wanted it too and how much she really cared about him… but the time passed and she was obviously eager to tell him all the details of his appeal. All he wanted was to tell her how much he loved her and wanted to spend his whole life taking care of her the way she deserved… but the soft and rhythmic tempo of her voice was enough to console him for the time being… and it was good news too.  
  
"I should be able to get Lil and your mother to testify and I need to convince Gillis to come in too." Here Denver stepped in.  
  
"I don't want you to go anywhere near that bastard." He said quickly. It was what she had expected and she wasted no time in her response.  
  
"Well I'm sorry Denver, but he is a material witness and we need him. I'm going to have to see him and make him testify by whatever means I can." Denver was quick to anger. She could see in that moment why people would be very afraid of him. He glowered at her across the table with a fiery temper.  
  
"You won't go near that man, Anna. I mean it! If you insist on doing this I'll sack you and you won't be able to see anyone." She sighed and looked at him frustrated. "You can complain all you want, he is dangerous and I won't let you go near him."  
  
"Denver, how are you going to stop me? I'm not going to stand by and let a witness walk because you think I'm incapable of looking after myself." She wasn't going to back down. Unfortunately for her, neither was he. Denver was perfectly willing to follow through on his threats.  
  
"Anna, I'm firing you. I don't want you to be my lawyer anymore." He snapped at her, looking away at the door as though he was about to call Fred over to take him away and deny her any further discussion. Anna laughed.  
  
"You aren't going to fire me, Denver. You drop me; you don't get me to visit you everyday…"   
  
"Don't you dare use my love for you as a bargaining tool. I'm not your fucking toy!" he shouted angrily. It was enough to startle her into silence long enough for him to continue making his point. "I don't want you going near that man, he hurt my mother and my sister and he beat me black and blue when I was a little kid. His bastard son raped my sister and I'm not having my girl…" he stammered angrily, getting caught up in his own words. "I am not letting him hurt you too!"   
  
"Denver, I'm not letting you go to the chair knowing there was something I could have done to stop it. Gillis is an old man, he couldn't hurt me, and even if he did… it's little price to pay for your life." Denver was astounded.  
  
"Anna, listen to yourself woman. Why the hell would you let someone hurt you for my sake?"  
  
"Denver, I stayed with my father for five years after I was old enough to leave home, to protect my little brother and sister from him… if I was there he couldn't hurt them… I did it because… if I took a little more pain then at least they would have normal lives... mine was already ruined and… I guess I let my brother down because he did it to him too but…" Anna was crying again and Denver got up from his seat, completely ignoring the fact that Fred was outside the door; albeit facing the other way, and went to Anna's side.  
  
"I did it because I loved them Denny. I didn't want those I loved to hurt when I could take away the pain for them." He took her hands in his own and looked up into her eyes. "I don't want you to die Denver…" she sobbed, taking one hand from his and wiping at her eyes and runny nose with her sleeve.  
  
"Come here," He said calmly, "Don't ruin your pretty clothes when you can cry all you want on my shoulder." She didn't have to be asked twice; not that she was really asked once. She dropped her head onto his shoulder and clung to him so tightly he had to squeeze out of her embrace a little, just to be able to breathe. He gently stroked her hip with his fingers and whispered in her ear.  
  
"It's time you let someone else take the pain, Anna. It's time you let the past go and started to have a future. You are a beautiful, intelligent and generous woman; you deserve to have some real happiness in your life. It isn't ruined sweetheart, you still have time. I don't want you getting hurt for me, I'm not worth it, and I don't see why you should put yourself out for me…"  
  
"Denny, I told you why…" she whispered bringing her hand up to stroke the hair on the back of his neck and softly kissing the soft musky smelling skin beneath his ear. He trembled at her touch and the kiss seemed to completely disorientate him.  
  
"Why?" he stammered, nervously. "You told me you stayed for your brother and sister because you loved them and didn't want them to be hurt but…"  
  
"Isn't it obvious Denny?" she whispered moving away just a little to look into his wide, blue-green eyes. "I have to do this because I can't let you go to the chair, I can't lose you…" He looked at her in earnest.  
  
"Why, Anna? Because we are friends? Because it's your job?"   
  
"Because I love you." He almost swallowed his own tongue and she was quite surprised with herself too. She knew how she really felt now, and is was obvious how he felt, but she hadn't intended to just come out with it like that.  
  
"You… you love me?" he stuttered. Unable to comprehend that she might actually have meant it.  
  
"Do you want it in writing, Denver?" Anna laughed softly, her eyes sparkling with a joy he'd never seen there before. He smiled and nodded.  
  
"I don't believe you, is this some sort of trick? You can't really…" She was tired of trying to talk him round. So instead she just leant forward and kissed his lips gently. His were trembling when they touched her own and she pressed a little more firmly to try and steady him somehow. She had her eyes closed but sensing his trepidation; she opened her eyes and saw that he was just looking at her face completely dumbstruck.  
  
"Don't you want me to kiss you?" she whispered, "I thought you had been looking forward to it." He nodded slowly, and she stepped back a little, before bending down in front of him. He was still shaking and she smiled as she took his hands and pulled them out from his waist and snaked her body up between the tight space that lay between his arms. His arms went up around her shoulders as her body pressed and slid up against his snugly. He could have just lifted his arms over her head but she had enjoyed feeling him tight against her and she wanted to make the most of the time they had together.  
  
"Close your eyes, and don't worry. I'm not going to hurt you." She whispered to him. He did as he was told and closed his eyes to wait for her lips to touch his once more. He was aware of his inexperience, now more than ever. Last time he had tried this, he had stuffed it up so bad, he'd scared her away. He couldn't risk that now.  
  
"Anna, I don't want to do something wrong…" he muttered without opening his eyes. Her lips brushed over his and he felt her mouth open to suck at his top lip. He tried to copy what she did, opening his eyes to see where he was supposed to be kissing.   
  
"Denny, close your eyes and just do what you feel okay? Stop worrying; just go slowly and follow your heart."  
  
Their mouths slowly began to explore one another; tongues snaking together in a passionate duel. Lips sucking and teeth scraping tenderly as his hands twisted softly in her silky curls and hers slid down his back to squeeze his firm butt. She could feel how hard he was against her and the heat was building between them so much that she began to wonder if she could reach some kind of sexual peak just from kissing him.  
  
By now Denver was moaning softly into her mouth and his fingers were lovingly stroking her neck as he inhaled the spicy scent of her skin combined with the fruity smell of her curls. He was intoxicated by her; she was like a drug to him in those few hungry moments. "Oh Anna, I love you so much, God, you make me feel so good."  
  
Hearing a noise out in the hall she pulled away quickly and ducked out of his arms. Lionel was talking to Fred out in the hall and Anna kissed Denver quickly on the lips before returning to the other side of the table and fumbling with some papers. Denver felt like he was in a daze and he shook his head trying to get his senses back. Before the door was opened he leant over the table and whispered to Anna.  
  
"You really mean it?" She nodded and smiled warmly. "You want to be my girlfriend?" Anna chuckled a little and whispered back to him.  
  
"I prefer to be your secret lover, okay?" His eyes lit up and he almost blushed as he found himself nodding back at her. The door opened and their moment was over for the time being. Lionel tried to cause trouble as usual… but Denver couldn't even be bothered to listen, let alone respond. He had the girl of his dreams and she loved him, what did anything else matter now? 


	11. Finally Found a Home

'You don't know me; you don't know me at all' Denver scowled at Fred and walked away shaking his head. He'd begun to think that the guy was pretty decent, even when he hurt Lil; he hadn't gone crazy on him… even though part of Denver knew it would have been thoroughly warranted. Now, he was treating him just like everyone else did… everyone but Anna.  
  
As he returned to his cell he noted the time and began to count the minutes until she would arrive to see him again. Lately she'd spent every evening with him after work. She'd come in around six and stay until visiting time was over at almost ten in the evening. It was four-twenty-five and he lay down on his bed and closed his eyes to see her face in his minds eye.  
  
He daydreamed all the time and was never really sure where his sleeping dreams ended and his daytime imaginings began. In his mind he'd walk through the woods with his girl. He had asked her to bring in some maps, and during her visit the previous weekend they had found a place in the hills that was perfect. They talked very little about his case after the first few details were gone over… most of the time they spent holding hands and talking about the future she was going to make for him on the outside. Today she had told him she was bringing some real estate forms in with her files, so that they could find a place to build their cabin.  
  
Inside, Denver knew they were all just dreams, but it gave him hope. She gave him hope and he didn't have the heart to bring her down. He would get out one day and they would be together and they'd have kids and he'd never stop loving her… and hell, why did the minutes have to go so damn slowly.  
  
He wondered if maybe she could get him off the row; even if he was just in the maximum security wing, at least she could come and see him whenever she wanted and maybe they could get some time alone. Kissing her, never failed to give him Goosebumps all over. Her hands made him tremble wherever she touched him and he longed to be able to really touch her too. Adolescent fumbling through their clothes, with his hands chained; was becoming frustrating for them both. He tried to imagine her naked, he'd felt her press against him enough times to know her curves pretty well. He was beginning to discover just the right ways to caress her and she seemed to instinctively know how to please him.   
  
Having no one for so long, had made him inhumanly frustrated but this was becoming unbearable. Being so close and yet still so far, seemed to be driving him nuts. He tried to ignore the sounds of Jimmy weeping next door and Frazer on the floor above singing off key to music only he could hear; and let his free hands wander. If only he could find some way to get Anna in his cell with him just for a little while…  
  
"Jimmy, shut the hell up, man!" he shouted as he was driven to distraction for the fifth time. He wanted her so much it was painful. He wondered for a moment if she felt the same. Pulling his blanket across himself he began to wonder just what effect he really had on Anna. Wondering if she ached for release the way he did and if she had the bliss of finding any, alone at home with no distractions. He heard the gate down the hall buzzing open and looked at the time across the hall.  
  
"Denver!" Fred startled him from his mental images and he snapped his hand from under the blanket and ran his fingers through his hair and over his face as though he was trying to pretend he'd been simply asleep. Fred gave him a suspicious look then raised an eyebrow. "Dr Darwin is here." Denver smiled and sighed heavily. It was two minutes to six.  
  
"Right on time!" he said getting up and leaning forward to try and disguise the evidence of what he'd really been doing. Fred walked him down to the visiting rooms and then took a right at the fifth gate.  
  
"Where we going man? She isn't usually down here, what's going on?" Denver looked worried and made no attempt to disguise it.  
  
"Lionel has been asking questions." Fred replied. Denver looked at him curiously. "He wants to know why you have been seeing so much of your lawyer. He thinks you are trying to set him up or something." Denver scowled angrily but Fred was quick to ease his conscience. "I thought it might be best if we put the two of you in the west visitor's lounge, that way Lionel won't feel the need to make improper use of the intercom."  
  
"Really? Cheers man, that's real decent of you." Fred shrugged and took Denver through the final gate and into the corridor of the west wing.  
  
"Denver, I know Anna cares for you. She wants to help you… I think she has a big heart…" Fred paused as though he wasn't sure whether he should be as generous as he thought Anna was being towards Bayliss. "Just don't mess her around like the others okay? She… I'm trusting you a lot here." Denver was grateful and didn't feel the need to seem stupidly macho about it.  
  
"Fred, thank you. I wouldn't hurt her… she treats me nice. Most people… oh, it doesn't matter… thanks for helping us out anyway." Fred opened the door and ushered Denver into the small lounge. It wasn't as secure as the east wing lounge and there was a couch in the corner with a little coffee table. He smiled as he saw Anna sitting in a pair of blue jeans and a white blouse tied loosely around her midriff. Her hair was down and she was wearing her glasses to go over some papers that sat on the mahogany table in front of her.  
  
"Fred?" Denver asked just as he was about to close the door and leave them alone. "I know this is a really big thing to ask but…"   
  
"What do you want Denver?" the guard said with a slight frown. "I'll give you a knock if Lionel turns up okay, that way… you know if there is anything you'd rather he didn't overhear…"  
  
"Thanks man, you are a real saint, but that wasn't what I wanted to ask…" Fred looked at him curiously. He had begun to suspect that Denver had a pretty major crush on his lawyer, but he didn't know that Anna felt the same. A worry that Denver was going to do something stupid like he had with Lil, was beginning to concern him.  
  
"Well what is it Denver, hurry up." Denver took his chance and asked.  
  
"Could you maybe just unhook the hand cuffs from these chains…? I swear to God I won't do anything bad." Fred looked at him in slight shock. The guy had been behaving himself for the last few weeks and no one had heard a peep out of him, even when Lionel tormented him, he'd never said a word. Fred decided to take a chance.  
  
"If you let me down, Bayliss… If you do anything… if you so much as tick Anna off." Denver shook his head as though it was the last thing he'd ever consider doing.  
  
"I won't do anything she doesn't want. I'll be on my best behaviour… I just want to… I can never just be normal with anyone." Fred nodded and began undoing the cuffs. Anna had walked over to join them and was looking down over the rim of her glasses to watch what was going on.  
  
"I will only take his cuffs off if you are okay with it, Anna. " Fred said looking at the young woman before him. "I'll knock three times if Lionel is on his way and then you'll have to click these back on him. Thread this chain through the ones around his waist and then they'll click shut. Don't do it too tight or he'll pass out from lack of blood flow before I get him back to his cell." Fred smiled and Anna nodded back at him watching as he instructed her in the intricacies of Denver's bonds.  
  
"I understand, thank you Fred, I know that this means a lot to Denver." Fred nodded, he liked Anna a lot. She was a genuine person and on the row they were as rare as snowflakes in the desert, so it seemed.  
  
"If you have any problems…" He added before he went out the door. "Call me, okay. Denver, don't you dare try and cross me. You let me down again… I'll put a stop to these visits." Denver made a cross over his heart and smiled gratefully. Fred nodded at both of them once more then went out closing the door behind him.  
  
No sooner was he through the door, before Denver had his arms around Anna and their lips locked together in a passionate kiss. His free hands snaked around her back and the left went to gently caress her shoulder blades as she pressed tightly to his chest, and the right moved down to hug the curve of her ass.   
  
"Oh Denny," she moaned softly as she felt him gently stroking her through the thin cotton of her blouse. "I missed you." He smiled and reached to stroke her curls from her face. "I couldn't sleep last night… I just kept wishing you were there with me. I'd love to fall asleep in your arms Denny."   
  
"You can sleep on me if you want… I don't mind what we do… I can't believe Fred let me get my hands on you." He smirked and Anna giggled a little, making him scrunch his face up at how cute she looked. She held his hands and swung them out from their waists and above her head. He laughed at her and she closed her eyes and grinned.  
  
"I love it when you laugh." She told him, as he draped his arms over her shoulders and pulled her back into his embrace. Together they went to sit on the couch and she sat cross legged in front of him and took the papers out from her briefcase. "I found us a place to live." She said like an excited little girl.   
  
"Lets have a look then." He grinned taking the forms from her and leafing through them until he found one that looked perfect. He read the details. It was a three bedroom farmhouse in the middle of Piney Woods. It was pretty rundown but the woods around it were beautiful and for a little over a hundred thousand dollars the place came with twelve acres of woods and fields.  
  
"You like it?" Anna asked with a big smile. "The farmhouse, yeah?" She was shuffling towards him on the crumpled old velour couch and he looked up and gave her a nervous smile.  
  
"Anna, it's a hell of a lot of money…" he said with an awkward glance at the details again. "I think maybe this is a bit too much of a daydream." She leaned forward and shuffled under his arm to rest her head on his chest and read the paper with him.  
  
"It's only a little more than my apartment is worth; I can sell that and take on some more work… we can have it all sorted out in a few months. Then when I get you out we'll have the best home ever." He tried to feel as happy as her, but a few months down the line he still didn't know if he'd be alive at all.  
  
"Maybe we are going a bit fast, Anna. It's a great place but I don't want you to turn your life upside down, when we don't even know…"  
  
"Hush, Denny. Don't talk about that stuff now… I'm going to get you out. I found some evidence today to prove you killed Davies in self-defence. I am working on getting the families of his other victims to testify for you…" Denver shrugged. He wanted to believe her when she told him she'd save him but it all seemed so far away… and yet his date seemed far closer.  
  
"Let's just make the most of having this time, okay baby? He whispered, stroking her hair and kissing her head. He still felt nervous whenever they were together and he always waited on her lead. He didn't have to wait long.  
  
She lay across him on the couch and they kissed and held each other close. He felt so good for just being able to hold her like he wanted to. His head swam as she began to slowly undress him and he trembled at every touch of her hand or lips. Her tongue trailed over his chest and she giggled as his hairs tickled her nose. Their moans and sighs blended together and his hands moved as though they followed a will of their own… or her own.   
  
Her mouth felt wonderful and he couldn't contain his passion any longer as she made her way to the core of his desire. He longed to be able to give her the pleasure she heaped upon him… and now his hands were free of their bonds it seemed like it was his duty to find some way to really please her.  
  
He was scared. His hands fumbled with her buttons and he almost lost his temper and ruined the moment as he tried to unhook her white lace bra. Her hands swept over his own to help him, and she never lost patience with him, no matter how useless he thought he was being. But as always their time was drawing to a close. He kissed at her naked torso; savouring the taste of her flesh, the smooth warmth of her skin on his lips. The puckered flesh that rose into his mouth as his tongue swirled around it thrilled him beyond measure and he delighted in every tiny contour.   
  
"Denny, I love you so much." She sighed as her chest began to flush and her stomach swelled with the yearning that began to burn up from inside. Her hands guided his to the button of her jeans and they were shaking like a leaf in a gale.   
  
"It's okay." She whispered to him, as he looked up at her with innocent eyes. "We don't have to, if you aren't ready…" He didn't want to waste what might be his only chance, but he knew that he hadn't a clue what he was doing. She seemed to know what he thought and pulled him up to kiss her once more.  
  
"I love you Denver Bayliss; you don't have to feel nervous. Everything you have done so far has been wonderful." He smiled at her with such love in his eyes she felt like she would cry. His hands smoothed down over her hips and he butterfly kissed his way over her tummy while carefully unfastening her jeans and letting his fingertips lead the way, where his kisses were intending to follow.  
  
"I love you, Anna. I want to make you feel as good as you make me feel. You… what you did, it felt amazing. I don't know if I can…" She put a finger to his lips and silenced him.  
  
"Stop worrying, start doing…" she sighed almost breathlessly. He was happy to oblige and by the sound of her sighs and the speed of her heartbeat he knew he was doing something right as he discovered the bliss that she held just for him.  
  
It was fortunate that he hadn't been any more cautious, as no sooner had Anna recovered in his arms, when there came three sharp knocks on the door.  
  
"Shit!" he exclaimed trying to pull his clothes back on and button up the front of his unflattering orange jumpsuit. Anna pulled her clothes on quickly and helped him with the cuffs around his waist. Outside they could hear Fred talking loudly to Lionel, trying to discreetly make them both aware of his presence. Denver was flustered when the door opened and Fred led the way inside, with an anxious expression.  
  
"So Dr Darwin, your boyfriend must be missing you, spending all these long nights working with Bayliss here." Lionel said with an obvious glare at Denver, who still hadn't calmed down from the panicked exertions of trying to get dressed so quick.  
  
"Mr McMannis, if you are talking about the gentleman who came here to see me last week, it was my brother, not my boyfriend." Lionel was caught off guard. He'd been enjoying tormenting Denver with that particular story for several days now.  
  
"My boyfriend is very happy with the time we get to spend together. Of course he would appreciate me being around more, but you know, when you love someone it's a case of balancing priorities. I'm sure you are the same." Denver smirked, knowing full well that word was on the row that Sheila McMannis was going through a messy divorce with her arrogant, bully of a husband.  
  
The look on Lionel's face when she said that was enough to appease Denver for the fact that he'd still not had the chance to make love to his girlfriend. Anna made a little small talk about the case and then at a quarter after ten she said goodnight to her lover and made her way home.  
  
It wasn't until Denver was safely ensconced in his cell, that he found the small lump in his pocket to be a little keepsake from his girl. Pulling the white lace panties from his waist band he found that folded with them was the realtors form for the farmhouse. As the lights went out and he crawled into bed he looked at the photo once more and began to imagine that dreams could come true.   
  
He'd kept himself on the ground the last few days, but after that night it was easier to believe that good things could happen to him. As he fell asleep he wondered at one thing; how could heaven be a visitor's lounge in Fort Worth's west wing? 


	12. Trinity's Chance

Anna pulled up outside Lil's apartment and smiled as she saw Mary and Sara, playing ball in the front yard. They had met once before and Anna was surprised that the girls remembered her from the brief chat together, in their mother's front porch. Lil spotted the car in the driveway and came out to see who it was.  
  
"Hi Lil, I hope you don't mind me coming by so early. I over estimated the time it would take to get across town. I have to be back at Fort Worth by six though so I had no choice but to set out at dawn." Lil smiled welcomingly and asked Anna to come inside. "I wasn't sure if you would still want me to come over… I was sorry to hear what happened between you and Denver." Lil shrugged then gave Anna a small smile.  
  
"I've forgiven him, Anna. You don't need to fret over it." Anna felt immensely relieved to know that Lil didn't hold bad feelings towards her little brother. "He wrote to me yesterday, you can read his letter if you want to…" Anna watched as Lillian scrambled across the room to a small dresser in the alcove to the kitchen.   
  
"I hoped he would write or call you. We had some long talks about what has happened and… well he felt terrible for what he did…" Lil was waiting impatiently and Anna realised that the other woman was quite excited by the improvement in her brother and wanted to tell her, almost desperately, what he had said. As Lil's impatience seemed to grow, Anna realised the time for small talk was over. She was about to realise why Lil was so keen for her to read the letter herself.  
  
"Here; read what he wrote me." She said animatedly. "He hasn't replied to my letters since he was about seventeen. I only see him once or twice a year and less since he was on the row…" She looked sad and thoughtful a moment and then smiled again remembering that now, things had changed. "Well you read it for yourself, I'm sure he wouldn't mind… you know, since… well he really likes you a lot." Anna smiled secretively to herself and took the two pieces of pale writing paper from their pink envelope.  
  
"Lil,   
  
I'm writing to you, to apologise and beg forgiveness for how appallingly I treated you. I never meant to hurt you. I was stupid and crazy and I have been a horrible brother to you. Can you ever forgive me?  
  
I feel like I need to excuse my actions but there is no excuse for what I did to you. I want you to know that I never would have done 'that' though. I tried to kiss you because I had all these crazy thoughts in my head and I got mixed up… I have never really had any affection in my life and I guess the things you were saying; the reminders of what it's like to have a normal life; they were too much for me. It was awful of me to treat you that way. All I can say is I'm sorry.  
  
Anna told me that I had to make my peace with you, whether you could forgive me or not. That it was important to show you that I was sorry and that I never meant to hurt you so bad. I love you, Lil. I always have, even though I never knew how to show it. You were the only good thing in my life growing up and the only person to stick with me through everything. I'm sorry that I never told you how much you mean to me before.   
  
I liked to hear about you and the kids, they seem so adorable. Anna said that Sara is really clever and Mary looks just like you. I think she's getting broody, since she went on about how cute Matthew was, for like, half of my visit!   
  
She's really sweet to me Lil, I don't know if she can get me out like she says she can; but to be honest I don't care. I just like to be with her, even if it's not for very long. She makes me happy; happier than I've ever been. I know I shouldn't say this; especially since the bulls read everything I write and watch everything I do… but I don't care if Lionel wants to criticise me, or beat the crap out of me; I think I'm in love with her. I was mixed up about stuff when I saw you and… I just wanted to be loved… to be held. Maybe I'm too jaded to really know what love is. But it isn't just lust, like people assume. I want to be with her forever.  
  
Anna has been hurt too and all I want is to have a chance to make it better for her… if I could live my life again, I wouldn't risk changing a thing… if I'd never met her I'd be nothing. That's not to say I don't regret things… I just know I would never give up what I feel now to be able to change my past.  
  
I hope you can forgive me Lil? You mean the world to me and I hate myself for hurting you. Anna wants you to help me, but don't feel obliged to. Forgiveness is more than I deserve.  
  
Take care, Sis.  
  
Denver."  
  
Anna had a tear in her eyes as she finished reading his words. She'd asked him to be honest to Lil and make it up to her, but she'd never expected him to be quite so sensitive. She never thought he would risk opening up like this, particularly about how he felt for her.  
  
"He loves you, Anna. I know he said he wasn't sure what love was… but the way he talks about you… he really does love you. I've never known him to be so honest. Anna, I know you are his lawyer and you can't do things… you can't have a relationship with him…" She paused wondering if it was too much to suggest that Anna might feel the same. "But please don't hurt him. You don't have to tell him you read the letter. You can pretend that you never knew he felt like that…"  
  
Anna knew she had to say something before Lil tied herself in knots with her pleas. She leaned close as though she was about to impart a dark secret… in fact she was, although there was no one around that could tell on her.  
  
"Lil, you don't have to worry. I love your brother. I guess we have been having a relationship for a few weeks now. No one knows of course; you have to keep it a secret or I'll get thrown off the case…" Lil was grinning like a lunatic.  
  
"Really? Anna, tell me you aren't joking? Oh Denny is so lucky!" she was almost bouncing on her seat. Anna smiled and blushed a little at the inferred compliment. "Oh it's such wonderful news… I wish he could just get out of there somehow and you two could be together." She shifted in her seat excitedly.  
  
"Denny would be such a great father. That's why I always tell him about the children… he was always so protective of me… he'd be a good husband too. All the years of living in such a difficult family, he knew exactly how he'd do things right one day."  
  
"I hope I can give him the chance," Anna sad a little sadly. "It's quite hard to be close at all; I don't think they are in a hurry to give me conjugal visits." Lil blushed, a little and it provoked a small inward chuckle from Anna; who, for a moment, saw Lil the way Denver joked about her. Deeply religious and moral while still retaining a sense of fun and impishness that made Denver believe she had, at least a little of the devil in her.  
  
"If I can help Anna… if there is anything I could do?" Lil began with a genuinely caring smile. Anna knew it was time to broach the subject and she also knew it was going to be very hard. She thanked her lucky stars that she had studied more than just law.  
  
"Well Lil, I did come here to ask for your help getting Denny out…" she trailed off seeing the strange grin on Lil's face. It took her a moment to figure out why, but then she chuckled softly. "I call him more embarrassing things sometimes but maybe we shouldn't go into that!"  
  
Lil laughed and sat a little closer to Anna, since Matthew had fallen asleep on the couch beside her and they would have to lower their voices. Anna remembered how Denver had been reluctant to let her do this and swallowed hard wondering; like he had, if it was absolutely necessary.  
  
"Lil, I have to talk to you about Denver and things that happened… what happened to you when you were younger." Lil's smile was lost in a fraction of a second and it was her turn to find a lump in her throat. "I wouldn't be talking to you about this… I really wouldn't want to bring this shit up if it wasn't really needed." Lil nodded and with her eyes alone; told Anna to continue…although Anna really didn't know where to start.  
  
"Can you tell me what you remember about your brother's first arrest?" Anna knew it was the cowards way in, but she couldn't help it… she knew from a vast wealth of personal experience that talking about this stuff was enormously painful. Lil sighed and tried admirably to be brave.  
  
"It was my birthday. I was fourteen and Denny and… Frank came over to see me at the new place I was living. You know about Frank?" she asked nervously repeating his name. Anna nodded. "Well we were just talking and joking around… Frank was drunk and I complained at him for getting Denny to drink too." She went off on a tangent about her little brother for a while. Telling Anna how he used to be such a sweet little boy and whenever he was ill he would want her to take care of him. She eventually returned to the point though.   
  
"Denny went to get some treats from the store… Frank wanted him to get me a birthday cake and Denny was such a sweetheart… he used to try and hide it then… you know, being all macho and stuff… Frank just wanted him out of the way." Here she paused and Anna felt the need to reassure her a little.  
  
"Its okay Lil, just take it slowly." She said patting her hand and giving her a supportive look.  
  
"Frank… he was really drunk and he was angry about something… about Gillis and my Mom. He said I had it coming to me…" Lil started to cry at the all too real memories, talking about it, was beginning to produce. Anna handed her the box of tissues on the coffee table and held her hand.  
  
"Lil, that's not true. You did nothing wrong. I'm sorry to make you talk about this stuff Lil, I really am… but what happened, it wasn't your fault. You have to know that… and you can't take the blame for all this. Frank Gillis was a cruel and evil boy and he…" Anna stopped suddenly. Was she really about to say that she was glad her boyfriend had murdered him?  
  
"I never saw him afterwards but it was horrible, Anna. I was so frightened." Anna nodded understandingly. Somehow Lil realised it was more than just a look of compassion. "Anna; did something… Denny said you'd been hurt…" Anna nodded sorrowfully remembering her own pain.  
  
"Yeah… for a long time." Anna said cautiously. "My father… Lil, I'm sorry I have to do this… there is something you don't know about Frank and Denver." Lil felt the panic consume her. For the briefest moment she imagined her brother and Frank conspiring that night. No Denny wouldn't… not her Denny… he couldn't do something like that.  
  
"You never saw Frank after that because… He's dead Lil. He died many years ago." The relief on Lil's face made Anna wonder if her own father dying might give her a little peace in time. "I don't know how to tell you this easily, so I'm just going to have to say it… I'm so sorry." Anna moved to sit closer and hold Lil's hands in her own.  
  
"Denver killed him. It was the boy he killed in juvenile hall." She waited to see if Lil was going to break down or anything and then continued. "Apparently the officials there at the time didn't know there was any animosity between the two of them and they were put in the same block. Frank had been arrested for GBH and Denver was close to his parole hearing on the shop lifting charges.   
  
They got into a fight and Frank threatened to hurt you again when he got out." Lil's face went immediately ashen. Anna thought it best to hold off with any detail, although both Denver and a few other juvenile criminals at the time had told her exactly what Frank had said. It had made her blood run cold.  
  
"Denver tried to make him change his mind… tried to make him just go away. He was scared that he wouldn't get parole and Frank would get out before him. I read the medical files Lil. They really went at it." Tears rolled down her face and Anna moved to sit beside her and give her a shoulder to cry on.  
  
"Denver is in there because of me isn't he?" she asked between sobs." He killed Frank to protect me and then all that horrible stuff has happened… he got hurt all the time and they beat him… he got into trouble and did all those other things… he was never an evil boy… not like Frank… he could have had such a happy life… I took all that away from him."   
  
Anna felt so guilty. She had never meant to hurt Lil so much and now she wasn't sure how to make it all better. "Denver doesn't see it like that. He knows he had choices in there. He chose not to be the victim and fought back. Now I have to fight for him."  
  
Lil sobbed hard and Anna gave her the only support she could. They hugged until Lil relaxed a little and sat up apologising.  
  
"Don't be silly. This is all horribly upsetting. I spent many nights crying too. It isn't your fault. Denny doesn't blame you. He knows he could have reported Frank; he didn't have to go that far. He took a beating too… to be honest it could have all ended the other way around… your brother was hospitalised for months afterwards." Lil wiped at her eyes and blew her nose.  
  
"Why did he never tell me?" she asked softly sniffing. "Is he angry with me?" "I never even knew he was in hospital, he refused to write to me after it happened. I thought it was because he thought I was ashamed of him… I love him Anna, I always loved him. Did he think I hated him or something?" Anna shook her head.  
  
"He didn't want to hurt you more, he didn't want to bring it all up again… he still didn't want to even now, but I'm sorry I had to do this… I love him; I can't let them kill him if there is any chance that I…" Anna realised she was beginning to well up herself.   
  
The thought of losing him made her feel sick. How could she cope without him? What would she have to live for, if he wasn't there anymore? If Lil wouldn't help, Denver would die. Yet even Anna, in her current state, felt terrible even asking her to stand up in court and discuss how she'd been raped all those years before. She felt as though she was asking the impossible. Reality seeped in through the cracks in her case and her heart sank at the thought of having to watch Denver die. Just as everything became more desolate than it had ever been; Lil held her hand.  
  
"What do you need me to do?" she asked uneasily.   
  
With just those few words, Anna's heart began to beat again… there was still hope. There was love and hope and faith; together they might stand a chance at life even yet. 


	13. A Mother's Love

Lil was trembling slightly as they pulled up at the trailer park on the west side of town. It was a warm day and there was no way Anna was falling for the excuse of being cold, that Lil had offered her. Truthfully it wasn't just Lil that was feeling nervous as they parked outside the fifth trailer on the right side of the loop.  
  
Connie Bayliss was forty-six years old, she had been in prison until last month for soliciting and she was reputedly a mouthy, alcoholic junkie who had little time for anyone; especially her family. Lil was embarrassed to be related to her and at the same time she loved her mother and wanted her approval more than anything in the world. In the last six months Lil had visited Connie three times in jail and six or seven in that very trailer. Each and every time, the visit ended in Lil running off to her car weeping. Anna may have had a little more pluckiness than Lil and the slight removal from the situation may grant her some latitude when trying to persuade Connie to testify; but she was still uneasy. As they walked together to the door and Anna took the liberty of knocking, they could hear the TV set blaring away and Connie shouting out to see who it was.  
  
"Ma, it's me, Lillian… I brought someone to see you." Lil called in an apprehensive tone.  
  
"It had better not be that waster boyfriend of yours… he's no kind of man!" Lil looked at Anna as if to say, 'now you see what I mean?' and prized the screen door open to step into the musky smelling hovel that her mother called home.   
  
"Ma, this is Denver's lawyer, Anna." Lil said standing next to her mother's beaten up old armchair and trying to dodge the cigarette that waved past her face as her mother rambled on about how terrible her husband, brother, and any other man she could think of, was.  
  
"What's that useless little prick gone and done now?" she said without even looking at Anna. Lil stepped away seeing that the fire burning in Anna's eyes, was far brighter than anything that had flared up in her own over the last few years.  
  
There was a time Lil would defend Denver to the hilt… then it just grew easier not to mention him to Connie. It made no difference to him after all; he hadn't seen or heard from his mother since the day he was first charged with murder. Lil's words had never made a difference and she doubted whether Anna would fair much better.  
  
"Mrs Bayliss. I'm defending your son in court next week…" Anna began, trying all the time to keep an even tone.  
  
"He's no son of mine! Useless kid; never caused me nothing but trouble. You know he was the worst little monster…" Anna found herself getting angrier and angrier by the minute. "You had kids?" Connie continued oblivious to the feelings it was evoking in her visitor. For a moment she gazed up at the young woman who was presently a guest in her house, and gave her what could only be described as a 'once over'.  
  
"No; looking at you, I don't suppose you have." Here she resumed her watching of jeopardy; occasionally calling out incorrect answers before cursing profoundly and kicking some of the detritus on the moth eaten carpet, towards the TV set.  
  
"I had a terrible labour with that boy… almost ten hours he tortured me and then another ten years before the social services took the little bastard away." Anna was growing red in the face she was so furious. Lil was seriously considering making a hasty exit.  
  
"What's he done now? Killed someone… raped them… is he actually classified a serial killer yet?" Anna almost felt like breaking her oath and smacking this woman across the mouth before anymore foul lies were issued from it. She actually seemed more interested in whether there was any status attached to what Denver had done, than his welfare or any detail of his life.  
  
"No he hasn't done anything. In fact I am here to try and get his convictions overturned. You might think your son is a monster, Mrs Bayliss but I know different."  
  
Connie turned to face this woman, who had just basically invited herself into her own home and proceeded to speak to her like some kind of dictator. Her gaze was stern at first and then softened into a conceited smile.  
  
"Charmed you, has he? He's been doing that for years, getting the girls to feel sorry for him… then." She paused and gave her daughter a menacing smile. "Isn't that what he did to that little Abbot girl before he tried to rape her?"   
  
Connie knew what had happened to her daughter. She knew that it was why her son was in jail too, but it never mattered to her. Sex had always been a game to Connie; ever since she was about fourteen she'd used sex as a way to get what she wanted. Okay some of the guys… Gillis for instance, didn't like to play her game… that was part of the reason she didn't see forced sex, in the same light that Lil or Anna would have done. Sometimes games hurt but in her jaded mind, you were better off a player than a victim.  
  
"Ma, you know that isn't true, Denny would never…" Lil began, trying to find some small amount of courage to stand up to her mother.  
  
"Oh you have such a high opinion of him, don't you Lillian? Poor little Denny; victim of circumstance… Is that what you are pleading for him then… Anna?" Connie spat her name like it was a dirty word and it was the final straw for the mild mannered English woman.  
  
"Mrs Bayliss, you are very wrong about your son, and I'm beginning to take offence at your assumptions and the way you are treating both me and your daughter…" Anna had been afraid to speak out like this. Something in her wanted to be able to find some good in Connie, if only because she was the mother of the man she loved. It was getting far too hard to do that.  
  
"Well that is a shame…" Connie began in a sarcastic voice. "I really enjoy this precious time with Lil and here you are upsetting things by mentioning that boy!" Anna knew how much those words would hurt Lil and she reached the point where she could no longer stand for it.  
  
"What kind of mother are you? Your son has never asked anything of you and yet he's in there because he was protecting his family. Isn't it time you did something for him?"  
  
Connie looked away; this time out of the window, rather than back to the mind numbing TV set. She seemed to give it some thought and a myriad of expressions passed across her face as she considered her life. The way her face altered, it seemed she could have been one of those shape-shifters in Sci-fi movies.  
  
"I know I was never a good mother. What do you expect when my own mother left me outside a hospital when I was two days old! I didn't know what to do… I never planned either of them and if I hadn't have caught some horrible disease from Curtis Maybank when I was nineteen years old, I'd probably have more kids to mistreat." She looked Anna in the eyes, which were still as angry as before.  
  
"You think I can change anything now? You really think Denver is going to give me a chance after the way… after the way I treated them both." She looked at Lil with a tear in her eye. Anna could see that Lil was desperate to forgive her mother but for some reason she seemed to be waiting for Anna's permission.  
  
"Mrs Bayliss, Connie… Denver doesn't have much choice. They are going to execute him in three weeks time if I can't get his sentence overturned. You won't have a son to make amends with if you don't take a chance soon." Anna knew her voice was beginning to falter, the thought of losing him always made her feel dead inside. The thought of going on without him was incomprehensible.  
  
"As for what Denver has done… he killed Frank so that he wouldn't get out and hurt Lil again before he was released from juvenile hall. The man he killed next attacked him as he slept. He was lucky not to die that night the way the previous victims of his foe did. Seven men beat the crap out of Denver the next time it happened, just because he didn't want to beat up on one of the young kids. Kill or be killed, they were his options. At twenty-three, Denver had been hospitalised for fatal injuries eleven times. Do you have any idea, what he has had to go through in these institutions for all these years? Do you know what they do to him in there? Those people who are paid thousands of dollars a year to protect him…" Anna knew that her words were beginning to sound harsh, but it seemed to her that this was the first place she had to plead for Denver's life.  
  
"Do you know that Denver believes that people have been trying to kill him since the day he was born? He can barely remember a time when he felt happy, really happy. Do you know he can't remember anyone ever telling him they loved him? Do you know anything about the man at all? You call him a monster at best you call him a boy; he's twenty-seven Connie and he has never had a real moment of happiness in his life."  
  
"Okay!" she snapped turning to look at Anna. "Okay, you've made it clear to me… I'm the monster… It's all my fault and I'm a terrible person. Are you happy now… have you got what you wanted?" Connie was weeping now and Lil watched behind her, barely holding back her own tears.  
  
"No Connie, I haven't got what I wanted."   
  
"You want to yell at me some more?" Connie stammered through her tears.  
  
"No, I want to save Denver's life. I want him to be happy… to have a second chance… I want him to be loved… but I can't do that without you." The silence was suffocating as they waited for Connie's response. Once again Anna felt as though her life, as well as Denver's was hanging in the balance.  
  
"You really think he could forgive me?" she asked, as though it wouldn't be worth trying if there wasn't something in it for her. Anna wanted to promise her anything, just to get her to testify and save her lover. Though she knew her oath meant that she couldn't be seen to blackmail a witness and too much rested on this.  
  
"I don't know. All I know is that Denver wants to have his life back, he wants to live for the first time in twenty-seven years…" Connie knew what was going on… she'd figured it out the first time she looked in Anna's eyes. She was as perceptive as her son in that way.  
  
"I guess that has a lot to do with you Anna." She said without emotion. Anna didn't want to corroborate her claim at all, for fear of her feelings being discovered and used against them. She still didn't know if she could trust Connie, even if part of her wanted to, almost as much as Lil did.  
  
"I did love him you know… in a funny sort of way… I was just scared of him." Connie said with a distance in her eyes that spoke of years of bad memories and hurt. "He was such a brave little kid; so strong and… I was always scared he'd hate me for how weak I was."   
  
Anna finally let herself believe that there was hope again. She sat on the chair beside Connie and reached for her wrinkled yellowish hand. Lil was crying and praying to herself silently.  
  
"I wanted to be a good mother to him, but I didn't know how and when I got it wrong… I knew I hurt him. The more it happened the harder it got to try to make things right… Why would he want a mother like me?" She turned to Lil; "Why would either of you?"  
  
"Because you are our mother. Because you didn't abandon us when it was hard… and you did try… I knew it… Ma, you have a chance… please let Denny have one too?"  
  
In the end the years of law training were unable to build a case as strong as the one Lil could offer.  
  
"I love you, Ma." Lil said before giving her mother the first hug they had shared in almost ten years.  
  
"I'll help you." Connie said as Lil moved away after a long and tearful few moments. "I'll help Denver." She paused and seemed to enjoy the look of joy and relief on Anna's face. Although she never said so outright, she knew then that Anna loved her son.   
  
The response in her heart surprised her. She was actually a little jealous that this lawyer had been the first to tell him he was loved, but it wasn't all bad. It gave her the hope she needed to help him… even if the fight was a little selfish; it didn't matter if she was willing to try. 


	14. Laying the Blueprints

Denver lay, with his head resting sideways against the wall of his cell, staring at a book he'd been given years ago by his sister. He had been trying to read the same page for over three hours now and hadn't absorbed a single word. All he could think of was Anna; he could still taste her on his lips and feel the smooth silkiness of her skin against his face. He hadn't eaten in two days, for fear of losing what sense he had of her, to the dismal offerings of the prison canteen. He told himself he'd brush his teeth and wash when he knew she was there to see him again. Until then it wasn't worth letting go of what fed his memories of her, even for the benefit of good hygiene.  
  
Jimmy was wailing for his mother again and Hank just kept going on and on about his girlfriend… Denver was frustrated; in more ways than one. Not being able to tell anyone about his feelings made him feel even more isolated when Anna wasn't around. It had been a little over forty hours since he last saw her and he felt so very alone. He was surprised he hadn't worn the print off the realtors form by staring at it so much. Hearing Fred calling for "107", he threw his book aside and got up to lean against the cell bars to see what was going on.   
  
Fred was beginning to get a sense of what was going on between Denver and his lawyer. He knew that Denver had one hell of a crush on her and suspected that she quite liked him too; but he had no inkling that they were intimate. He wasn't ready to give the matter too much contemplation. In his distant thoughts he had begun to wonder if the explanation for Denver wanting his hands free was for a greater purpose than just a desire for normality.   
  
Put it this way, he'd come out with a pretty big grin on his face and it wasn't just because he'd got one over Lionel! Fred tried not to think too deeply, and just kept his nose out unless he was needed. Denver and his lawyer had the right to as much time alone together as they wanted. He wasn't sure whether he pitied Denver enough to find him deserving of such affection; though while he didn't need to intervene for safety or security measures, he would reserve judgement.   
  
"Anna's here to see you early. She seems very happy today, looks like she might have some good news for you." For once Denver suspected that Fred was on his side and actually felt glad that he had some positive news. Hope was becoming a habit; one that confused him and taunted him along its pleasurable ride. He was about to follow Fred out of his cell when he stopped and asked for a few moments.  
  
"What's the problem Denver, you are usually so keen to see her?" Fred said a little sarcastically. Denver didn't answer but went to the washstand and proceeded to clean his teeth and wash and shave himself, before putting on a clean t-shirt and shorts and his jumpsuit. While doing all this he muttered about having to look like a complete idiot when she always looked so beautiful.   
  
Fred thought it best to pretend he hadn't heard. Whenever he tried to joke about Denver's attempts at wooing the young woman he found it to be greeted by an angry retort. Fred took this as just another of the usual insults; not knowing that it was brought on by the prisoner's own vulnerability and paranoia about how he was supposed to show his feelings.  
  
If Fred had known, he may have surprised them both by his helpful response. There is nothing like your own relationship failing to make you notice the joy that others share in their own love life and want to help them out.  
  
Together they walked down to the west visitors' lounge and Fred chatted to Denver about how he thought his case was going. If Fred had been asked to report on the information he found, he would have said that the prisoner was defensive and secretive. It wasn't what he was saying, but what he was not saying, that interested Fred.  
  
"Are you keeping her around on false pretences, Bayliss?" Fred asked with more than a hint of humour in his tone. Denver turned and glared at him angrily, as though he was waiting to get into trouble, then smirked seeing the glint in the guard's eye.  
  
"Fred, she's my counsel, I'm a lot of work you know, she has a lot she needs to err… discuss with me!" he smirked and Fred seemed to pick up on the emphasis Denver had put on the 'discuss'. "These things can't be hurried, man. A woman like Anna needs a lot of attention…" He trailed off as they drew close to the door, wondering if Fred would take off his cuffs again.  
  
Fred seemed to understand the question in Denver's eyes as he stood in the doorway and Anna walked over smiling at them both. He actually felt for him for a moment, but there was nothing he could do.  
  
"I'm sorry Denver, I can't today… Lionel is on the prowl" Seeing the disappointment in both their eyes, he felt a little remorse. "I'll loosen the cuffs and take them off your chains but that's all. If Lionel finds out he'll go nuts." He seemed apologetic.  
  
"That will be fine, Fred. Thank you for your generosity. We really appreciate it; don't we, Denver?"  
  
Well there was no denying the connection between them now. Fred looked at Anna rather surprised by her honesty. He knew that at this point he was breaking regulation by not reporting the assumptions he could make based on this behaviour, and that Anna would be in serious trouble if she were to be discovered dating a death row prisoner, in whatever form it occurred. Though somehow she felt she could trust Fred Whitmore and her hope was rewarded as he nodded at them both understandingly and closed the door behind him.  
  
"You probably shouldn't have let on that much, Anna. I don't want them to treat you badly because of me. I guess… well I'd realize why you would want it to stay secret… it's not like I'm a good catch or anything is it?" Denver spoke almost apologetically and his words were met by a frown from his otherwise cheerful girlfriend.  
  
"Denny, shut the hell up!" She snapped at him. "You don't know what you are talking about." She traced a finger over his bare arms and he flinched as she tickled him a little, causing his biceps to tense. "Not a catch… you're strong and handsome and you have the most beautiful eyes I think I have ever seen in my life." He laughed to himself shyly and looked away to where her hand rested on his hip. "Add to that you are intelligent and generous and you make me laugh…"   
  
He found her eyes once more and she smiled seeing the rose tint to his cheeks. It was probably the first time anyone had ever told him this sort of thing. "You're kind and thoughtful and probably the bravest man I ever met… is that enough reason to love you or should I argue my case a little more…" She raised her eyebrows with her question and was rewarded by a warm and gentle smile. "Or maybe you'd like me to present you with some evidence?" He inhaled deeply, feeling her guide his cuffed hands over the thin cotton blouse to feel how fast her heart was beating.  
  
"But you aren't the only one to have a raised pulse coming to see me?" he said clumsily trying to be assertive about his attraction. Anna looked sad a moment then in false sorrow she asked him what he meant.  
  
"You trying to tell me you have other girlfriends Mr Bayliss?" she said pretending to be upset.  
  
"No!" He replied quickly, thinking he'd put his foot in his mouth again. "I just meant usually I scare people into having a heart attack… I… Anna there isn't anyone else… there never could be… I love you… nobody… only you make my heart race like that, even just the thought of you…" She laughed and dragged him willingly over to the couch. Pushing him back down, she unfastened the clasp of her pants and sat straddling his lap before pressing her lips to his in an ardent kiss.  
  
"Maybe…hmm, maybe you'd like some other evidence of how you make me feel?" She muttered in between his hungry lips. "Maybe I can prove how much I love you and need you and…" she guided his hands down between their bodies and sighed softly as he found exhibit B. "Oh God, Denny I want you so much. I don't think I can take much more of this… you are all I think about."  
  
He swallowed hard at the realization that she felt the same as him. Okay he should have known that by now… the way she had gone crazy for his tongue should have given him a clue about how much she reciprocated his feelings. But it wasn't until she was practically begging him to make love to her that it sank in, that what he had there in his arms was real. He stopped his kiss and his fondling of her beautiful body and sighed as though in shock.  
  
"Denny? Denver, what's wrong sweetheart? Did I do something?" Sometimes she forgot how innocent he was… it was hardly a word he'd been commonly associated with in the past. "I didn't mean to push… I'll wait as long as you need… I'll always wait for you Denver. You are the only man I ever want to be with."  
  
A tear rolled down his cheek and she worriedly took his face in her hands, searching his eyes for some kind of answer to her fears. He smiled awkwardly and tried to sniff and swallow back his tears. He wasn't ashamed of how he felt… he just didn't want her to misinterpret his happiness for something bad.  
  
"Anna I wish I could give you more, I love you more than I ever thought it possible and I feel like an idiot to have spent so much of our time together doubting how you felt. I want to marry you and to have you bear our children. I want us to have the farmhouse in the woods and I want to lie under the stars with you in my arms every night. God, Anna if I was free I'd never leave you for a single moment… I'd spend the whole of eternity loving you."  
  
Now it was Denver's turn to wipe away the tears as his girlfriend sat in his lap and whimpered at the overwhelming emotion he'd finally found the words to show. His legs were beginning to go numb and he could no longer feel his feet, but none of it mattered. Holding her was the greatest feeling he'd ever had. She sniffed and he used his sleeve to wipe away her tears.  
  
"I wish you didn't have to wait for me. I don't want to wait. I'd marry you right now if I could. I didn't think that it was worth hoping for something else… not in any real sense. Since I met you… Anna it scares me how much I need you; how much I need us." He paused and tenderly sucked her upper lip between his own, swiping at her perfect teeth below.   
  
"Knowing you feel the same… you have no idea what it means to me. I want to get out of here Anna. I want to get out and be with you… and… and for the first time in my life, I'm starting to think that maybe I can."  
  
Anna was struggling to hold back her tears as she spoke. Her words were slow to form and he waited on each one, knowing she'd make him feel safe and loved and there was not a doubt in his mind that she didn't mean every single one.  
  
"I'll be here everyday Denny; I'll come in as much as I can. I have witnesses and I've asked Lil and your mother to testify." He cut her off here; a look of sheer surprise on his face.  
  
"You spoke to my mother?" He inquired, incredulously.  
  
"Yes, we had quite a chat actually… well after the arguments had died down." He laughed.   
  
"You fought with my Mom? You won? Hell, I wouldn't let you go if you brought out a restraining order on me after that. What did she say?" Anna smiled and to his quiet relief, got off his lap to sit on her knees beside him.  
  
"She said to tell you she was sorry and that she regrets being such a bad mother to you. She doesn't think you could ever forgive her but she said she always loved you in a funny sort of way. She only didn't know how to show it." Denver could hardly believe what he was hearing. Moments before he'd told himself that he would never doubt another word his girlfriend told him and now…  
  
"She said she loved me?" Anna was unable to stop a little smile playing across her lips. It had all been such a long shot and she'd spent most of the weekend in fear that her efforts would go unrealized and Denver would go to the chair. Now being able to give him the news he'd longed to hear even before he went to jail; she felt like she really was his guardian angel.  
  
"She said a whole bunch of stuff Denny, she feels terrible for hurting you… she said she was always scared you'd hate her for being weak, so she was always afraid to try and show you any affection." Anna was then cut off mid sentence by her boyfriend's hoot of laughter.  
  
"That's hilarious, who'd have thought I'd be so much like the old lady after all these years trying to hate her." Anna looked at him trying to read between the lines. "I'm terrified to make love to you Anna. I want to more than anything but… I don't want to disappoint you and have you leave me…" she poked him hard in the chest and called him a fool.  
  
"Denver Bayliss, I take back what I said about you being intelligent. If you hadn't gathered that I'm totally crazy about you by now then you really are an idiot. Do you know I can't sleep at nights for all the thoughts in my head? I never made love with anyone before either and last Friday here with you… Heck, I've never felt so good in all my life. You could be as inept at sex as it's possible to be and I'd still go nuts when you touched me."  
  
"You're just saying that!" he said denying her flattering comments. She knew by the smirk on his face and the way he was leaning closer, that he didn't really doubt what she was saying. In fact it had managed to bolster his confidence just enough to allow him to take the lead. He had no sooner got started on her blouse buttons when there came three short, sharp knocks on the door.  
  
As Fred and Lionel reached the door, Anna had her blouse refastened and was looking as professional as ever.  
  
"You needn't worry Denver; I'll have everything in place for when this is all sorted out." Lionel then insisted on taking over from Fred and any more intimacy for the day, was restricted to whispered conversation and the occasionally holding of hands.   
  
Denver was happy to just be with Anna and was surprised that while he thought the situation was frustrating, she was even less patient than he was. He no longer needed to worry about the intention behind her actions or their future together. His only problem now was trying to convince Fred to leave them alone and free of bonds for long enough for him to give her what she wanted. 


	15. Risks of the Road

Denver was surprised when Waylon arrived at four thirty with news of a visitor. He had finally got around to reading his book and thought he had three clear hours before Anna would arrive. There was rarely silence on the row, but one of the medics had sedated Jimmy for a while after he cracked his skull against the bars, during one of his night terrors; and it was relatively peaceful that sunny afternoon. Still a visit from Anna could never be at a bad time. He followed Waylon's instructions and complained only once about how tight his cuffs were, before he was led away to the West visitor's lounge that he had come to think of as Anna's place, since she always made herself so… comfortable there.  
  
"Hi Denny!" said his sister with a broad smile. "It's good to see you. You look so much better." He smiled and felt as though he had peacock's feathers, it was so flattering to be noticed for a change. He always made a little more effort when he saw Anna; he was surprised no one made any comment about the aftershave he'd managed to bargain away from Harris in 103 or the fact that he had cut his hair and shaved everyday as opposed to once a week, if that. He smiled at his sister and they sat down facing each other silently for a moment before Denver reached across to squeeze his sister's hand.  
  
"Lil, I'm sorry about what happened last time…" She waved her hand and told him it was forgotten. "You are so good to forgive me and for all you've agreed to do… and for convincing Mom." Lil smiled and shook her head.  
  
"Oh Denny, that wasn't me. I introduced Anna and she did all the talking. You should have seen her Denny. If she was that good with Mom, you will have no problems in court; Anna is a first rate lawyer and she never even…" Lil leant close and put her hand over her mouth as she whispered the rest to her brother. "She never let on that you two were together."  
  
Denver knew that it was for the best but he felt saddened that Anna had kept their secret so well. He longed to be able to scream his love for her at the top of his voice, almost as much as he longed for a chance to make her scream… in the good way that is.  
  
"Mom knew of course; as soon as Anna started laying into her about how bad this place was and how badly she was treating you. Anna would do anything to protect you Denny."   
  
For a moment Denver felt relieved, it felt good to have someone fighting his corner… years of legal representatives had seemingly forgotten about that side of their jobs. Then the other side of Lil's declarations sank in.   
  
"That's what I'm worried about." He said with a heavy sigh that seemed to pour from deep inside him. "She is going to put herself in danger if she isn't careful and I'd rather die than see any harm come to her again." Lil marvelled at the way her brother had quite unexpectedly turned from that tough guy little kid into this ardent and considerate young man. Then her expression turned to one of vexation. She had hoped Anna would have been in that day already… now she knew her face had given away too much and she would have to pass on the news herself.  
  
"Lil, what is it? You're keeping something from me; I know you are Lil, please? Has something happened to my Anna?" Lil swallowed hard and fingered her upper lip nervously; this insignificant mixture of body language terrified Denver Bayliss.  
  
"She went to see Gillis last night. He was…" Denver interrupted and his face turned as white as a sheet.  
  
"He hurt her? I'll kill the bastard if he hurt her." Lil reached over and took his hand shaking her head and trying to find the right words to calm him and explain things at the same time.  
  
"No, well, she hurt her arm… he set that horrible old dog on her when she wouldn't leave his front porch. She got frustrated with his lack of concern and tried to threaten him… I think she got into a bit of trouble." Lil tried to play down the fact that Anna was now under investigation with Foster, Schmidt and Martinson for misconduct.   
  
Anna had asked Lil to keep it from Denver until she had a better assessment of how much trouble she could be in. Lil felt that as long as Denny didn't ask her directly, it wasn't a sin to withhold the truth for just a little while. She smiled and told him that Anna had called her that morning to tell her she would be in to see him and that if he was worried about her; then could she reassure him that Anna really did love him. This is what she told her brother; again hiding her mouth as though there were secret video cameras installed in the visiting lounge.  
  
Denver smirked at her actions, coming to the same conclusion about why she was doing it and then finding it amusing to wonder how much Lionel would charge for the copies of his secret meetings with Anna on video tape.  
  
"He didn't hurt her, did he Lil… and the dog it didn't do her any harm?" Lil gave a little panicky gasp and then answered her brother.  
  
"The dog bit her arm; she went to the hospital for stitches and a tetanus injection last night. She is fine Denny, no lasting damage." He reluctantly left the discussion at that point. He saw it as useless, going over stuff with his sister who was just passing on a phone conversation; which if he knew Anna at all, would have been brief and to the point in order to keep from giving away too many of her real feelings.  
  
"So what happened with Mom, did she really say she loved me?" Denver asked cautiously.  
  
Lil waxed lyrical about how much Connie had been helping his case over the last few days. It took her all of the rest of the visiting time just to explain what happened when she and Anna went to pay their mother a visit. She insisted on practically reliving every detail and Denver had to smirk as she told him how his girlfriend had run her mouth at his mother.  
  
Lil was sad to leave and insisted on hugging her brother, much to Waylon Carter's disapproval.   
  
"You take care, Denny. I'll come and see you again as soon as I can. The children are on holiday for the next couple of weeks but I'll come back after that and Anna is going to have me stay with her while the case is going on." He smiled, finding a sense of family for the first time in almost two decades. He said his goodbyes and was led back to his cell.  
  
It was one hundred and fifty long minutes before he was again called to go to the visiting room and a million thoughts and emotions had run through him, in that somewhat brief section of the afternoon. He had made a few decisions in this time and was fully prepared to force his point if Anna tried to cast his worries aside as she had before.  
  
As he walked with Fred to the west lounge he was too lost in thought for conversation, despite the guard being in quite a chatty mood.   
  
"So your sister came back to see you?" he said unlocking the third of nine gates on their journey across Fort Worth. Denver glanced aside at his company and nodded in the positive. "So you guys made things up then?"  
  
"Yeah, man. I wrote her before. I'm surprised you bulls hadn't read it all before it was sent." Fred looked confused. Denver hadn't shown him any hostility for about a week now and he really believed he was getting somewhere with the guy.  
  
"I did see the letter, but it's not any of my business and your writing isn't easy to read Bayliss." Fred was trying to lighten the atmosphere between them with a little humour, but sadly Denver wasn't in the mood.  
  
"Well I didn't go to school did I? It's amazing enough that I learnt to read; the fact that I don't write real clearly shouldn't make much difference." He snapped, as he paced out and faced the final wall before the visitors' lounge.  
  
"Hey, Bayliss, I was just trying to make conversation. I didn't read your letter properly to afford you a little privacy. I thought that was what you wanted." Fred sounded a little hurt. He had a right to be, he'd put his job on the line to help the guy out and it wasn't exactly doing him any favours at home either.  
  
"Look I'm sorry, man. I just have a lot on my mind, you know? This isn't easy…" Fred understood, and as they walked into the lounge and Anna got up to greet her client, Fred removed his cuffs without having to be asked.  
  
"Put them back on him if I knock. Lionel shouldn't be in, but…" Then he noticed the sling Anna was wearing and Denver's mood suddenly made sense. "Are you okay, Dr Darwin?" Denver was waiting for an answer to that one himself.  
  
"Yes it was just a silly accident… nothing to worry about…"  
  
"A little accident?" Denver spat angrily. He had meant to wait until Fred had left but his nerves had built too high in the confinement of his cell and now it was just too much to hold back his thoughts any longer. "Lil has told me what happened, Anna; it wasn't just a little accident. For God's sake, I told you to keep away from that man! What the hell do you think you were doing?" His face was red with rage and his hands were trembling as he gripped her shoulders and shook her.  
  
"Denny, I had to go to see him… I had to try… You know what this job means and you know why I had to try… you know… I did it for you." She said a little scared of the feelings she had evoked in him.  
  
"He could have hurt you; he could have raped or killed you or something, Anna! Why don't you listen to me? Why don't you trust me?" Anna started to cry, and Fred who was still standing on the sidelines of the fight, waiting to intervene if necessary; asked Anna if she was okay.  
  
"Could you get me a glass of water and some painkillers please?" she said with a nervous look. Fred seemed reluctant to leave them alone together but after her words of reassurance and Denver backing away he left the room to do as she had requested.  
  
"Anna, I was scared to death. You know you are all that matters to me… how could you risk yourself like that?" he was calmer now, but the same fear was welling up inside him and she knew that if she couldn't relieve the tension between them, it may get too much for him. If that happened, she wasn't sure what lengths he'd go to, in order to stop her 'risking herself' in an attempt to save him from execution. He'd threatened to drop her from the case before and she trusted him enough to know that he wasn't joking.  
  
"Denver, I can't lose you. I wasn't stupid. I told people at my office where I was going and I took some pepper spray… that's why that ghastly dog bit me in the first place." She smiled as a smirk appeared on Denver's face. "He didn't really like it when I tried to strong arm his master… He kinda tried to do the same to me… Gillis was a sanctimonious prick anyway. I doubt the court would have put any weight on his testimony even if he had agreed."  
  
"I thought the case looked good? All the stuff you have done… those witnesses… my Mom? Why did you have to risk yourself Anna?" He took her arms softly and leant close to brush his head against her cheek. "I wouldn't know what to do if I lost you. It would be worse than the chair, to have to live without you, Baby."  
  
She saw the love in his eyes and his free hands were carefully stroking over her neck and shoulders, running in tiny circles that made her begin to quiver with excitement.  
  
"Denny, I love you. I just need to do everything I can to get you out of this hell hole. I can't keep feeling like this; I need you with me. I want to wake up in your arms every morning… I want you at home with me… in our house in the woods… Denny I have to try. I…" but her words were lost in his mouth and his kiss was strong and desperate. It conveyed every one of the feelings he had been party to over the last few hours. The need, the fear, the love and the protectiveness all flowed from his tongue and he never ever wanted to let her go again.  
  
"I love you so much, Anna. Don't ever do anything like that again, okay?" She nodded and they kissed again; his hands slipping under the thin fabric of her blouse and her good hand sliding into his jumpsuit to caress his chest. Both of them were completely unaware of the door opening beside them and lost to the moment, they barely heard the guard clearing his throat to get attention. It wasn't until Fred coughed again that they broke apart and looked at him with fear-stricken faces.  
  
"Here's your pills." He said simply. He looked into Anna's eyes and seemed to be trying to read her mind or understand her madness. Then he looked at Denver who seemed frozen with terror.  
  
"You had better pay more attention. Lionel has just arrived. He could be down here any time soon." He said no more and with one further querying look at each of them he turned and walked out the door, closing it quietly behind him.  
  
Neither Denver nor his lawyer girlfriend could believe their luck. It had been building to this for a while but they had never wanted it to come to a head this way. Only it hadn't really come to a head. Fred didn't care… or maybe he cared more than either of them had imagined he could. Either way the couple didn't waste long in questioning his actions, and made up for their disagreement in as passionate a way that could be found, with only a few minutes of privacy. Denver had found his courage now, and had the words to make it clear to her, what mattered.  
  
"Anna, whatever they try to put between us… I'm always yours… I'll always be with you… I'll always be a part of you." 


	16. Breaking the Rules

"Anna, I'd like to speak to you in the conference room." Said Jonathan Schmidt with a worried expression on his face, and his thin lips pursed together so they were almost transparent.   
  
"I have a couple of phone calls to make, Jon…" She said assertively. She knew what this was about and wanted to give herself a little time to think through what she was going to say before going in to face her superiors.  
  
"Right away, please Anna. The partners are waiting." Her heart sank and her stomach somersaulted like a Russian trapeze artist. She put down her bag, took off her dark brown leather jacket and lay it over her desk. 'Would it still be her desk in a few hours time?' she wondered as she straightened her blouse and made her way towards the smaller of the office's two meeting rooms.  
  
"Please take a seat, Anna." Said Donald Martinson; the most senior of the three partners and the one with most clout in a situation like this. Anna tried to read his tone; figure out his intentions and with it her fate and that of her boyfriend. He was a professional and nothing could be gained from reading his curious expressions; as he looked over the paperwork that had been brought together about her and her current case, over the weekend.  
  
"I'm afraid we have been forced to take action and produce an appraisal of your conduct, Anna. We have had a complaint from a witness that you approached recently; and as you know we can not let matters like this go unnoticed."  
  
It wasn't a question. She didn't expect to be asked many questions at all. They had already made their decision before she even came into work that morning. All that she waited for now, was to hear how harshly they were going to punish her.  
  
"I'm afraid that Mr Gillis was very upset by your attitude towards him last Friday; he has made things official and has threatened to go above us to the Governor if this matter can't be dealt with in-house." Said the second most senior partner, Rudolph Foster, with the closest thing to an understanding look that he could muster and that any of them had shown her since this meeting began.  
  
"Could you please go over what happened on that afternoon?" said the wiry looking Martinson with a suspicious raise of his eyebrow.  
  
"Well I have information that showed that Mr Gillis' son, Frank, was involved in a serious incident that affected my client. I went to see him to try and encourage him to testify in defence of Denver; I mean Mr Bayliss." She stammered as she corrected herself and knew that they were reading her like a book.   
  
"He said that you encouraged him to testify against his dead son. He also said that you made several remarks about the boy's behaviour and moral standing." Anna bit her lip and tried not to show her anger at that previous comment from Jon.  
  
"But however much you insulted or blackmailed Mr Gillis is quite frankly a trifling matter compared to other information we have received." Stated Donald; with a look of disgust on his face. "We have been told that you have become rather too close to Mr Bayliss…"  
  
"What?" Anna snapped as she began to fear the worst. Donald Martinson actually sneered at her then. He had all the evidence he needed, just in her reaction.  
  
"We have heard that you have developed feelings for this man and you know that we can't let you continue representing him given that information… it wouldn't be becoming of one of our employees."  
  
"So what have you decided then?" Anna asked, barely able to hide her strong emotive reactions in the situation.  
  
"Well obviously we have to reprimand you for your behaviour towards Mr Gillis…" said Jon with as friendly a tone as he could manage, without being seen to take sides. "It won't be a big deal, if you make sure nothing like this happens again?"  
  
Anna should have taken her pill and kept quiet but her fear spoke for her.  
  
"I was defending my client and I will not apologise for that; however heavy handed I came across. Have you seen what Denver suffers in that place? You seriously think a few angrily stated truths could hurt Gillis as much as Denver is hurt? That man's son raped Denver's sister and beat him half to death…"  
  
Donald laughed to Rudy, who sat shaking his head in Anna's general direction. "Well it's obviously true then. Mind you I suppose we all like a bit of rough now and then and taking advantage of one's position isn't always a terrible thing!"  
  
"How dare you belittle what I feel for Denver? You people haven't got a fucking clue have you? You sit here playing with people's lives and it doesn't even get into those stupid arrogant heads of yours that these are people too. Denver has been treated badly for so long he doesn't even know what being loved is like at all. You go on about taking advantage now and then; well I thought our job was to offer advantages to those in need not take them away. How dare you preach moral standards to me, when you clearly have none of your own."  
  
"Now Anna, please calm down. We don't want to have to ask you to leave over this, just make an apology to Gillis to quell any further complaints… and since you obviously do have feelings for Mr Bayliss we ask you to drop the case. We can find him someone else." Rudy was again trying to be the good cop, only it was far too much to ask.  
  
"I will apologise to Gillis, but I won't mean it. I'll do it for Denver's sake. I don't want that lying scumbag to cause more trouble for him with the Governor. As for dropping the case… I'm sorry I can't do that. I can't leave Denver to fend for himself; and he is unlikely to find suitable representation in less than two weeks."  
  
"Two weeks?" Asked Jon a little confused.  
  
"Yes the Governor won't grant him any further appeals; I am working on a plea for clemency right now. Denver will be given an official date for execution in two weeks time unless I can get him out."   
  
The thought alone, chilled Anna's blood. Losing Denver was too much to contemplate. If only she had kept a civil tongue in her head like her grandmother always taught her, then none of this would have happened…. But it would… Alice had grassed her up and Foster, Schmidt and Martinson were not about to risk their company appearance by letting rumours get out that one of their employees was screwing her death row client.  
  
"Well I'm afraid we have no position within our company for someone who becomes involved with a client…" began Donald with a superior looking sneer.  
  
"Then I'll represent Denver myself, without your backing. I'm a good lawyer and I can do this without your names following me around like a ball and chain!" Anna scowled back at him. She'd never liked Don Martinson; he was smug and superficial and all the things Anna hated. The other two were better but…  
  
"Now Anna, lets not get too far with this… we appreciate your value within the company, but you have to understand it is impossible for us to overlook such a situation… Bayliss is a high profile convict… it wouldn't be proper to send you in to defend him when we know that your case would be biased by any feelings you may have for him. Surely this isn't worth losing your career for, Anna?" Jon offered her a way out; Donald probably would have let it lie at that too. She couldn't do it.  
  
"I don't think I've made myself clear gentleman." Anna spoke with an authoritative voice and held her head up to meet each of their eyes in turn. "I love Denver Bayliss… these aren't silly feelings of lust or a whim. I love him and as for risking my job for him… I'd risk my life… I'd do anything to protect him and give him the happiness he has never experienced. I won't leave him to die and I won't give up fighting for him."  
  
After a long silence in which several looks of concern and understanding were shared, it was Donald that found something to say first.  
  
"Well my dear that was quite a speech… should I expect your resignation letter to be quite so emotive, or will you be able to act a little more professionally?" Donald said pushing his chair back to leave. Anna just scowled back at him with venom in her eyes.  
  
"Oh and you won't be defending your boyfriend, with or without us to back you. If you try to take on personal representation, I shall have to report your misconduct to the Supreme Court and the Governor."  
  
"You bastard!" Anna spat getting up and unintentionally throwing her chair backwards onto the floor.  
  
"Seems your gentleman friend has rubbed off on you Anna… and you used to be such a lovely young thing… oh well." He picked up his papers and made to leave.   
  
"Don, wait I'm sure we can handle things in a better way than this?" Rudy started, before Don laughingly shook his head and turned away.  
  
"Her boy is going to fry. She's right, no one else will defend him and she can do absolutely nothing to save him…"  
  
Anna couldn't take anymore. She was choking on her own tears and her anger burnt through her like molten lead in her veins.  
  
"You evil man." She said glaring at Donald again. "You cruel and bitter man, I bet you never knew what its like to really love someone did you?" With a wave of his hand he dismissed her comments and walked beyond her to the door.  
  
"Love can't conquer all, missy. Bayliss will die in that chair in less than twenty-one days; perhaps since you love him so much you should be there to hold his hand?" Anna couldn't take anymore; she flew at Donald like a vulture ready for the kill.  
  
When Jon and Rudy managed to pull her away, Donald's face was cut in several places and he shrank back against the doorframe trying to get his breath back from where she hit him in the stomach and winded him.  
  
"Anna, come on this is nuts." Jon said trying to calm her down. She cried again as the inevitability of her loss sank in. Rudy put his arms around her and tried to comfort the girl who was just young enough to be his daughter.  
  
"You've kissed goodbye to him now girly; I'll have you arrested and locked up for the next three weeks at the very least!" Donald laughed wickedly. "I have witnesses that you attacked me… you'll never see him again… is that worth it now, honey?"  
  
Anna stared at him as though he was the devil incarnate; to her right then, there was no one more evil. Tears rolled down her cheeks and all she could think of was that if she picked up the letter opener on the desk and killed them all, she could be with Denver forever.  
  
"You don't have witnesses, Donald. I won't tell the police anything. Anna has some nasty cuts too, thanks to you…" Rudy explained.  
  
"Yes and it could be said things were even… at least on a physical level." Jon added. Anna cried more at their compassion towards her. Donald stood up and left the room hiding his cut face from the rest of the staff. Rudy smiled at Anna and handed her his pocket handkerchief.  
  
"Okay, I take it you want a ride to Fort Worth?" Rudy offered… "I'll see what I can do about a private lawyer for Denver. Times short, but I might be able to get someone secretly, so that Donald doesn't cause trouble. I have a friend who is starting a local firm in Dallas… don't worry about work. Just sort yourself out first okay?" Anna cried and hugged the taller stocky man as tightly as she could.   
  
"Thanks Rudy, you don't know how much this means to me." Rudy nodded and told her he had begun to get the idea. She could hardly believe that she still had a little hope to go on, even after the royal screw up she had made. There was still a small chance she'd save Denver and at least now she didn't have to pretend. It's true that every cloud has a silver lining; you just have to know where to look. 


	17. To the Limits

Denver was asleep on his bed with the blankets wrapped around his half naked body. All that showed from under his coverings, was one bare tattooed arm that hugged both the thick wool blanket and the pillow, in a way that seemed to convey a sense of comfort that Denver had rarely felt. In his dreams it was Anna he was holding. Her arms were wrapped around him as the sun gazed down on the two of them from high in an early autumn sky.  
  
The rich golden leaves lay under their warm, barely clothed bodies. The wind whistled through the trees above them and Anna whispered to him over and over, telling him how much she loved him and wanted to stay that way forever.  
  
"Denver!" Fred shouted into the cell. "Denver, wake up!"  
  
"Huh? What… what's up?" he said trying to pull himself out and away from his dreams. "Fred?"  
  
"Denver; Anna is here to see you; she is upset… she won't tell me what is wrong. Get up now!" Fred seemed on the verge of being distraught, which worried Denver more than the words alone. Fred wasn't easily put in a fix like this and whenever Denver glimpsed through the guard's calm exterior he felt like a storm was coming. The thought of losing Anna in this tempest was enough to make him dress at almost light speed.  
  
Getting out of bed hastily, he pulled on his clothes and stood away from the gate to be cuffed. Fred obliged instantly; making sure to tell Denver he'd remove them as soon as they got to the visiting room. They walked in silence; Denver couldn't ask any questions that Fred could answer, so they waited until he could ask the person who could give him what he needed.  
  
"Anna! God; Anna what is wrong, baby?" Denver asked as the door to the West lounge was opened and he saw the tears in his girlfriend's eyes. Fred took the cuffs off quickly and left them hanging plainly from the front of the Denver's jumpsuit. The prisoner embraced his girlfriend as though no one were watching and kissed her tenderly on the lips, before he began to wipe the tears from her face.  
  
"Baby, tell me what is wrong? What happened? Did someone hurt you? Anna, talk to me." He was pleading with her over and over to explain her tears and her sadness, so that he could begin to fix it.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Denny. I screwed up so bad. I've failed you and…" she sobbed and clutched at the front of his shirt. "I got fired; they found out about us… they found out about me blackmailing Gillis. They fired me and I can't… Denny, I've let you down and I don't know if I can save you anymore… I don't know if there will be anyone else to help…"  
  
Denver felt like his heart had stopped. His life was flashing before his eyes. He saw himself as a boy playing in those woods that he loved so much. He saw his sister caring for him and putting him first when she shouldn't have… when she should have given much more time to herself. He saw all the people that had hurt, and let him down and he saw her. His only love in twenty-seven years; the woman who made all that pain, go away with a smile. Her hands rested against his toned chest and he needed her then… more than he'd ever needed anything in the world.  
  
Anna didn't know what to say. She had given him too much hope already; given herself too much hope. She had made a stupid mistake… she had got too desperate and it had led her to destroy the work she'd already done and destroy Denver in the bargain. She didn't know how he'd react to the news; it was partly that fear which made her cry now; but mostly the fear of having nothing left to live for, if she lost him.  
  
Would he blame her? She deserved it, if he did; and wouldn't shirk her responsibilities this time. She'd take whatever he wanted to throw at her. He could kill her for what she had done to him… after all it was arguably the most painful thing he'd ever had to go through. If he wanted to make her suffer, he had all the ammunition to do so. His hands were untied and he could do anything he wanted.  
  
He kissed her.  
  
Denver felt the fear burning in the pit of his stomach and his mind went hazy to anything but the stirrings inside him… thinking of her touching him that way, always had the same effect and he pulled her roughly into his arms. The kiss was frenzied and desperate; as though it was the last they could ever share. His tongue snaked into her mouth like he was a starving man and met her own, trembling against him.  
  
"I love you." He sighed against her lips, as he stared into her green eyes with blurred close-up vision.   
  
Hot tears ran down her face and he felt them before he could really see them. He stepped back just enough to look upon her properly. He regarded her with wide cerulean eyes; that seemed iced cool in the morning sunlight, and a smile played gently over his lips.  
  
"Anna, I love you. You are all I have in the world and if I'm going to die, I need to show you how much." Her tears fell faster now as her heart gave in completely to just being his. There was no more fight for her; only as a bystander, and without the fight all she had left was love.  
  
"Now kiss me, sweetheart. Give me what I need, more than life, Anna. Let me live through you."  
  
For a while, all either of them felt were the purest sensations of love. Hands caressing toned and scared skin, fingers brushing over silken curves and lips and tongues locked together in a soul searching kiss that took away any other consciousness. They were half naked in one another's arms; well on their way to peace, when the door came crashing open…and reality came back to them both like being hit in the head with a brick.  
  
"Lionel is coming, quickly…" Fred gasped staring at them both like they had already taken way too long. They pulled on their clothes and Fred cuffed Denver while he still had half his buttons undone.  
  
"Christ! " Fred muttered to himself several times. "He'll have my bloody job for this…hurry Denver, for God's sake hurry up." Anna fastened the buttons of her boyfriend's orange jumpsuit with a sorrow in her eyes, which mirrored his own. Fred walked back towards the door just as Lionel McMannis walked in with a huge grin on his face.  
  
"Bayliss, I heard the news." He grinned. "Shame isn't it? I mean things were going so well…" He looked at Anna and gave her a cold glare. "Oh and I think she was beginning to like you as well!"  
  
"Fuck you!" Denver scowled back at the taller, stony faced man. Lionel laughed and turned as though he was going to walk away.  
  
"Bastard!" Anna muttered to herself, thinking only Denver would hear her. Unfortunately she was wrong. Lionel turned on his heel.  
  
"Oh, Dr Darwin, you have twenty minutes. Now you are no longer Bayliss' lawyer you have one hour a day, on my permission of course." He snarled at her in a way that reminded her of a mongrel dog her father had once owned. "So you had better behave yourself my dear, and keep that pretty little mouth shut or maybe you won't be seeing Denver anymore at all."  
  
"Don't speak to her like that." Denver spat at the guard who had abused him for the last four years. "She isn't your anything."  
  
"Oh and she's yours is she? In those little fantasies of yours perhaps; he jerks off about you, Anna." Lionel said plainly and as though he was describing a medical procedure rather than an act of passion and wanton desire. He was surprised to see Denver blush a little and chuckled at the embarrassment he'd caused.  
  
"Oh yeah, you should hear the things I've caught him saying, when he thinks no one is around. The things he wants to do to you; dirty little bastard; aren't you, Bayliss?"  
  
Fred looked as though he'd hit Lionel himself if he didn't shut the hell up pretty soon and Anna was angry enough to beat his head against the wall until he apologised. Denver however was strangely calm.  
  
"Why don't you tell her, Denver? Go on. I won't hold it against you… tell her how you dream of slipping into her and making her scream…" Lionel was about to walk away seeing an end coming to his game as Anna left in complete embarrassment, never to return.  
  
"He's right, Anna. You are all I think about and all I want in the world. Not everything I think about is gentle and tender, but I want to make love with you more than anything else in the world. For once Lionel is telling the truth. You'll have to excuse the crass and undignified way he does it… it's a bit of a rarity for him."  
  
Anna tried to hide her smile and then thought better of it and let rip with a peel of laughter. Denver smiled himself, and soaked up the sound of her happiness as though it were a fine and exceptional wine, he might never taste again.  
  
"Oh Bayliss you are funny. You know what is funnier though, man." He walked a little closer. "Fred, you can go now." Fred wasn't going anywhere. "Denver, I'm feeling generous. I know you want her… and I know how… well you ain't seen a lot of action have you, boy?"   
  
Denver regarded Lionel with a suspicious look. Anna, felt a familiar fear surge through her veins and stepped backwards and closer to her boyfriend. Lionel turned angrily to Fred Whitmore and glowered at him. "Fred, leave now!" Reluctantly Fred went and stood outside the door out of sight but still within earshot.  
  
"Now Denver, I think it is a real shame that you are going to miss out on so many things in life. What is it, two weeks before you fry?" Denver gave no response, either verbally or by way of body language. "You know I'm willing to look the other way for a while?" Anna looked shocked and Denver was quick to jump on this particular opportunity.   
  
"So what are you saying Lionel? "Denver asked moving himself in front of Anna and towards the leering guard. Lionel shrugged. "Are you suggesting that you would leave me alone to act out my fantasies a little, before I die?"  
  
The fear was rising in Anna's stomach and she realised what that feeling was, which seemed to have her in a choke hold. Closing her eyes to draw herself away from this strange situation a moment, she felt that same panic that had gripped her all those years ago. She saw herself, a frightened little girl cowering in the dark closet of her room, hoping beyond hope that what she knew was about to happened would stop.  
  
"Obviously, I can't leave the two of you alone… but I would look the other way… well mostly… if you want to…" He paused and gave Denver a knowing look.  
  
"You saying, I can screw her, if I want to?" Lionel nodded silently expressing his agreement.   
  
Anna's stomach lurched. This was all too familiar to her. The threats, the alluding to something horrible, which she tried to hide from, knowing it was coming and what it was going to do to her. She loved Denver, and would make love to him in a second… but this…  
  
"Well I can't do anything with these chains on, can I?" He held out his hands to Lionel who after a brief pause for thought and a leer towards the good doctor, who he had never liked; he unhooked and removed the chains from Denver's arms and waist.   
  
"There you go, boy. Have fun!" Lionel sneered. Anna was shaking, she knew Denver would never hurt her… she had only a few minutes earlier been about to do this with him anyway.   
  
He wouldn't hurt her… he had said he loved her. She had signed his death warrant with her stupid misdeeds and he had said he loved her… Somewhere inside the slightest fear that he hadn't meant it began to grow. What if he had been playing her along for some action all this time? What if he had loved her, but now… she had let him down; he had a right to punish her.  
  
Denver turned to face Anna and looked her in the eyes with a forceful gaze. He moved to her and turned her in his arms a little so that he could see Lionel over her shoulder and the door to the room beyond.  
  
His kiss was forceful too and his hands gripped her tightly as she felt him swelling against her. A tear rolled down her cheek and he bent to kiss her neck and suck on her earlobe, nipping at it with his teeth.  
  
"I won't hurt you, Anna." He whispered almost inaudibly. "I love you."  
  
Her heart lurched and she pulled back from him quickly thinking she was about to throw up. He watched her face soften as she attempted to make sense of what was happening to them. The burning fear in her stomach had become something altogether different and sank down through her body.  
  
"I want you, Anna. I need to have you, I have to do this." Denver said with assertion rather than threat to his voice. He pulled her to him again and something inside, made a charge flow through them both at the same time. Anna allowed him to pull her closer and whispered in his ear.  
  
"Do you want to, now, like this?" He licked up her neck and pulled her left earlobe between his teeth again. "It may be the only chance we get, Denny."  
  
"No." was his only response. Clearly stated and to the point. She looked into his eyes, pleadingly. But again he shook his head. "Not like this."  
  
'Then why?' She thought to herself. Why was he doing all this, playing along if it wasn't to finally have what they both wanted as much as life itself. Her answer was about to walk through the door.  
  
Denver had watched Fred's shadow play over the frosted glass; he'd heard every word and as Denver tried to convey with his eyes alone, exactly what he wanted; Fred had nodded an understanding and left immediately to fetch Captain Alder. Denver just had to play this one out until he had witnesses.   
  
"Go on Denver, I know you want it to be all special and shit; but we don't have all day! Stick it to her boy!" Lionel spat as he caught Anna's frightened glance. Denver stroked his girlfriend's cheek and looked over both their shoulders at the Captain and Fred standing in the doorway.  
  
"So Lionel, are you sure? You really saying you won't tell anyone and you'll keep a watch out, while I rape the good doctor here?" He acted nervous, his voice was shaking and his hand was squeezing Anna's beside him tightly. He knew he was scaring her, despite her questions and the desire he knew she barely restrained; this situation was a bad memory to her and he had to keep a careful eye on her reactions if it wasn't going to spoil everything.  
  
"For God's sake Bayliss, do you want it in writing? Do what you want with her; you can screw her to death if you want. That'll be one less smug lawyer to deal with when you are gone!" Lionel sneered angrily.  
  
"That's enough, Lieutenant McMannis. I think we have got the picture." The house captain's voice, beside and behind him, spoke with control and authority and Lionel swung round with fear in his eyes. "Denver, could you stop scaring Dr Darwin now please"  
  
Anna looked round at the games that had been playing out behind her, without her knowledge. She looked at Lionel as Captain Alder asked Fred to cuff him and go and call the police. Then she turned to Denver and questioned him with her eyes.  
  
"I'd never hurt you, Anna… I love you; I had to do it to stop him coming between us. I need to see you as much as I can… I need for you to be with me till the end. He'd have taken you away. I'm sorry baby. I know it made things… I didn't mean to bring that stuff up again… I had to take the chance." She didn't care who watched as she moved to kiss him again… properly this time.  
  
"Should have known!" Lionel spat at them both, as Fred Whitmore cuffed his superior officer with a big grin on his face. "A whore like her was bound to want to get with scum like you Bayliss!"  
  
Denver pulled out of his girl's embrace, and went to hit Lionel square in the jaw. Captain Alder grabbed his arm before he could do anything, but it didn't stop his curses.  
  
"It doesn't matter Lionel; you'll get suspended for this and be out of my way. I should smack you down for speaking about my girlfriend that way, but I think the justice system might owe me a few favours after what you just did. I wouldn't want to waste my chances with Anna, just to bloody up your face a bit."  
  
"No, but I don't think anyone would care if I did." Anna added, and then before anyone could stop her, she punched Lionel McMannis in the face. "You should know I'll do my very best to have you put away for what you just tried to do. I may have been fired but I still have a lot of influential friends. How would you like to see the inside of the hole eh, Lionel?" Denver laughed out loud and kissed Anna enthusiastically before anyone could cuff him again.  
  
"I love you." He laughed, as Captain Alder walked Lionel off down the hall with a few sternly spoken words. Fred smirked and shook his head at the actions of this man who was supposed to be a serial killer. He was a complete pussy cat for her.  
  
"I'll give you guys those twenty minutes… Alder will be back soon, so maybe you should try and keep your clothes on this time!" He laughed as both of them sighed with displeasure. "You can visit as much as you want on my shifts, Anna. Don't worry; I won't keep an eye on the clock too closely." With that Fred closed the door behind him and left them to their own devices.  
  
"Romeo and Juliet thought their tale was tragic!" Fred muttered to himself a little more sadness in his voice than he expected to find. "They didn't have this ridiculous legal system to deal with." 


	18. Facing the Curtain

"You think I'm going to crack, don't you?" Denver asked Fred, with trembling hands. He'd tried to hide his fear from Anna; he didn't want her to feel any worse than she already did. He knew what they had was real, more than he'd known anything in his life; and when his immediate silence was overcome all he could think was that she would have to suffer a lot more than him. She was the one who had to carry on.   
  
"No, man, I think you'll be alright." Fred said with all the hope he could muster. He'd never intended to feel sorry for Denver. He'd never intended to help him and he'd never really given much consideration to how he was aiding him in his affair with his lawyer. Though now the date was announced he felt like he was losing someone far more important… someone who meant so much more to him… someone who had changed his life, perhaps forever. What was Denver to him now… this was far beyond the bounds of his employment; and this prisoner wasn't just his responsibility… he was… a friend. He'd agreed to testify in this man's defence, going against every guard in the place. He'd put himself out for him and now…  
  
Denver held his breath a moment and tried to recall the feeling of her lips on his. It seemed so far away, and so difficult to do now. Would it be of any solace to him as they strapped him into the chair? Would the memory of her arms around him; provide any comfort when the worst finally came to find him?  
  
"I'll be okay." He said trying desperately to believe it. To believe that, now all hope was gone… he could at least die with some dignity.  
  
Denver could see the pain in Fred's eyes and the turmoil he was going through being involved in all this. He had forgotten, while being lost in his own affairs, that this was Fred's first placement on the row. He'd cared for maybe four or five people in his life and now he found it hardest of all to let them care for him. In twenty-seven years it was all he'd dreamed of, and now he was contemplating throwing it all away to disguise his fears and leave them with some happy memories.  
  
"Be cool." He told himself. Thinking of how things had started to turn around the day before. At least Lionel couldn't stand in his way now. He'd made it easier for them to have those last few days together… those last few days to be close and to enjoy what they had as much as possible… to get used to the end.  
  
'Hell, when would Anna arrive?'  
  
It was four hours before Anna could get away from her disciplinary hearing at the court. Rudy had helped as much as he could and Anna wouldn't be disbarred, although Donald wouldn't have her back at the office. Even if he would, she was suspended for six weeks; there was nothing more she could do for Denver.  
  
Rudy took on Denver's case privately, but due to Anna's behaviour and the investigation into lieutenant McMannis, the petition had already been denied. Witnesses had been scared off, and the guards who were to speak in Denver's defence were too afraid with what had happened to McMannis. Denver's stand may have helped in some ways but in others, it snuffed the spark of any remaining hope, as dead as he would be in two hundred and eighty-four hours time. Clemency would be requested of the Governor, but Rudy was honest enough to tell Anna the probability of it being granted was small. All they had left was the biased testimony of friends and relatives. Only the generosity of God himself could save Denver Bayliss now.  
  
As Anna walked up to the gate her heart seemed to be sunken into her stomach, how could she cope knowing this was it? How could she stand by and wait for it to happen, knowing that it was wrong?  
  
"It's so good to see you." She said as Denver pulled her into his arms and she sniffed away her tears. He kissed her softly on the lips and she laughed as his stubble tickled her face.  
  
"Sorry, I… I forgot to shave… I was…" She shook her head to silence his worries. "How was your meeting? They didn't fire you, did they?" A tear rolled down her face and the façade broke down. How could he still put her first, when the end had been declared?  
  
"Oh Denny, this is so hard. How can this…" He pulled her into his arms and stroked her rich auburn curls as she sobbed on his shoulder.  
  
"Hush, baby. Its okay… its okay. Be strong for me, Anna… please be strong for me?" he was fighting his own tears as he held her and tried to capture the feelings, the scent of her skin, her hair… everything about her. Anna wiped away her tears and smiled at him as her nose ran onto his suit.  
  
"Just like the first time." She laughed still fighting the pain away. He laughed with her, but they had heavy hearts now. He took her hand and they curled up on the couch together. Denver holding his girlfriend across his lap the way he saw them in his dreams every night.  
  
"Would you have married me, Anna?" he asked as she pressed her face into his chest and gently rocked against him.   
  
"I will if you want to… we could get a priest… I know we don't have much time but…" Denver shook his head, he was resigned to his fate, and it seemed pointless to hold onto hope and dreams now. He'd only carried them at all because of her. Before she came along, death almost seemed like a release.  
  
"I don't want it to be any harder for you after I'm gone, Anna. I've already caused you enough trouble…" Anna sat up suddenly and frowned at Denver with an aggression that he'd only seen once and that was directed at Lionel, deservedly.  
  
"Don't be ridiculous. I love you, Denver Bayliss. I will never regret anything we've done for each other… except…"  
  
"Hey, hey, don't start crying again. I don't want to drown in tears before they send me to the chair now do I?" he tried to smile, but every mention of the inevitable made him feel like he would choke.  
  
"I'd marry you Denny. I'd do anything for you. I'd die with you if I could." It was his turn to frown.   
  
"No you damn well won't Anna Darwin. You have to be strong and get on with your life; there are plenty of men better than me…"  
  
"Shut up Denver!" she snapped back before he could get out anything more. "If you think I could ever be with anyone else, you are mad… maybe I should try an insanity plea…" The realisation hit her again and tears forced themselves out to blur her vision. There would be no more pleading… only perhaps to God himself… for a miracle… for some mercy.  
  
"I don't want to love anyone else, Denny. They could never be you… they could never love me the way you do… I wish I could do something…" she trailed off as another tear rolled down her cheek. He caught it with his finger and brought it to his lips.  
  
"Everything about you is so sweet." He said with a shy smile which brought a little chuckle to her lips. "You can name your son after me." Anna frowned.  
  
"I can't have a son, if I don't want anyone but you… or do you want me to freeze your sperm or something… if you do then we should probably get a doctor to come in… I know a guy at Dallas…"  
  
"Anna! No. I don't want you to have the stigma of being married to a serial killer. I don't want our son or daughter to get teased because of their dead father… I don't want to hurt you anymore…" Anna started to weep now, stronger than ever.  
  
"Then don't leave me." She sobbed uncontrollably. "Oh Denny, please don't leave me… we could run away… we could steal Fred's keys and… we could go to the woods Denny. No one would find us… we could hide…"  
  
"Anna!" he shouted shaking her by the shoulders. "Anna, stop this. Stop it!" He was shaking and barely managing to keep calm. "I'm going to die in eleven days. Nothing is going to stop it now, save God himself intervening and I don't know any reason he'd want to do that…"  
  
"For me?" Anna sobbed. "Because I need you." Denver felt her pain and pulled her into his arms again.  
  
"You deserve some happiness, Anna and whatever you say… someone will come along to give it to you. They'll be someone… someone who is just made to love you… to always be yours…"  
  
"That's you Denny. That's always been you." He knew she was too stubborn to beat and with a sigh he gave up fighting.  
  
"Let's just enjoy what's left. This… ever since we met… it's all been about the fight. Always, the 'what ifs' and 'one days'… They are gone, baby. We've got eleven days to live our lives together; how about we make some happy memories to keep, instead of all these tears." She looked into his eyes and saw how much he needed to get by.  
  
"Okay?" he asked looking into her big green eyes. She nodded.  
  
"Tell me what we would have done together, sweetheart. Tell me what you wanted for us. Then when I've lived to a hundred in your mind and we have a brood of grandchildren all as beautiful as their Grandmamma, tell me what you'll do without me. So I can be sure you'll cope when I'm gone."  
  
So for the remaining two hours they had together on Fred's shift, they talked of their wedding… where Sara and Mary were bridesmaids and Fred was best man and they talked of their home in the woods and argued about what colour to paint the rooms. They talked about what they would want for their children and decided that a daughter would have been called Elizabeth after Denver's Grandmother, and a son would be called Daniel, since Danny sounded better than Denver.  
  
"Just get them a cot with sides, not bars, okay?" Denny laughed as their time was coming to an end. Anna smiled and looked into his eyes as though she too needed to fix his image in her mind.  
  
Over the next few days, Anna was with her lover for almost nine hours a day… in other words, the entirety of Fred's shifts. They learnt more about one another in those three days than they would have done in possibly years of marriage and mundane life.  
  
Denver hated cats and Anna was scared of snakes and anything that crawled and had what she described as 'excessive amounts of limbs'. He liked blues and she liked jazz. They both loved walking outside and going to the sea, for Denver the reason's were obvious but Anna just liked to be away from everything and to just feel the world breathing around her.  
  
"I'll see you in the morning?" he said kissing her goodbye while Fred waited to go home himself. She nodded.  
  
"Of course, bright and early. Make sure you are awake, or I might have to get Fred to sneak me in and wake you up in my own special way." Denver smirked. He tried to curb her hopes most of the time… he couldn't deal with another tearful argument… but for that moment he couldn't bring himself to deny her a wish. He hated having to deny her anything, especially himself.  
  
"If I thought Fred would let you in, I'd sleep in; but I'll be up and shaved this time, I promise." Anna kissed him once more and left with Waylon. Denver watched her leave and closed his eyes to imagine walking off with her. His remaining hope was tiny and rested with the Governor. He didn't want to wish anymore, his heart was broken enough.  
  
"Fred, will you look out for her… when I'm gone?" he said, unsure whether he had actually spoken or not. "I try to make her understand but she still hopes for… I don't know what she thinks can happen…"  
  
"I'll check on her, Denver. She's a good woman…"  
  
"I'm lucky." Denver said, before it even occurred to him how ridiculous it sounded. "To think, I almost didn't even go in to see her that morning." Fred smiled as he cuffed Bayliss' hands again and led him into the hall.  
  
"Maybe fate still has a few tricks for you yet, Bayliss." Fred added, yawning from his double shift on door duty. Denver laughed.  
  
"Now you are starting to sound like Anna. If only I'd had you two to fight my corner twenty years ago."  
  
Fred was surprised to see Anna waiting outside for him, almost half an hour later. She was leaning against her car, shivering a little and watching the gate.  
  
"Do you ever go home, Dr Darwin?" Fred smiled as he drew close to her car. She smiled and shook her head.   
  
"Not very often, no." She lit a cigarette and offered one to Fred. "Is Denny okay?" Fred lit his Marlboro and nodded.   
  
"He worries about you. He asked me to keep an eye on you… you know after…" Silent nods of painful understanding passed between them. "He's being… well he's being very brave for you. He doesn't want to remember tears, when it's time to go and… God even I'm praying for him now."  
  
A tear rolled down Anna's cheek and Fred handed her a handkerchief from his jacket pocket, as even more followed.  
  
"God has never listened to me, Fred. I pray all the time but I don't think he hears… how could he, and let me go through… Denver is the only good thing that I've ever had." Tears were getting to be too much, and she wept as she tried to clear her mind of all the pain.  
  
"Come on Dr Darwin, what do you say we walk on down the road here and go for a drink? I think we could both do with one and I'm pretty sure Denver will be having one since Hank got hold of some whiskey the other day and has it hidden behind the wash stand." Anna chuckled.  
  
"I thought that was against regulations, Mr Whitmore?" Fred laughed and gave her a somewhat knowing smile.  
  
"They all have things they shouldn't have, as I'm sure you know…" For a moment she had forgotten the panties Denver had stashed in his pocket after one of their close calls and looked a little confused. "Well I don't think lace panties are really Denver's look!" He smirked and Anna blushed profusely.  
  
"Its hard to have a relationship in these circumstances… even harder now I know for all the will in the world it's going to end in less than a week." Fred nodded and held the door for them to go into the bar and find a bay to sit in.   
  
"He's twenty-seven, he's had such a terrible life and it's all going to be over in just a few days and… God Fred, I just don't know how I'll carry on when he's not here anymore… where will I go every morning? How can I get up knowing I'll never see his face again, never feel his arms around me and that we'll never…"  
  
"I'm sorry, Anna." Fred answered solemnly. "I wish there was something more that I could do…"  
  
Then an idea came to Anna's mind. Maybe there was still something Fred could do… if he was willing to stretch those regulations a little further.  
  
"You could accidentally lose your keys? Go to the bathroom while I get Denver out the window and into my car…" Fred sighed and shook his head.  
  
"Bayliss is right; you won't give up until he's in the ground."  
  
"I won't give up on him, even then, I'll never let him go in my heart, Fred; and I'll find him in heaven when I die. This isn't the end until I say so."  
  
Fred admired the woman's resilience, but couldn't help feeling that it was going to be her downfall in the end. Dreams can't last forever… can they?  
  
"Maybe if you can't help me break him out of there, you could get us a few hours alone… you know somewhere private… to say goodbye properly?"   
  
Fred knew what she meant and for all the rules in the world he wouldn't let them go without that last chance at passion.  
  
"I'll try and sort something out… Waylon will help out, he feels bad for Denver too. It will have to wait a few days until we are both on shift together." Fred leant forward and patted Anna's left hand. "I'll do what I can and let you know… shall I tell Denver?"  
  
"No!" She answered quickly. "I don't want to build his hopes up again if we can't do it. Just leave it until you are sure."  
  
Fred agreed and they finished up their drinks and chatted about her job for a little while. The words fit the chatter, but all they could both think of was what life would be like for her in a few days time. Sometimes things aren't fair, and even the happiest moments have to have an ending. Theirs would come all too soon now, and all they could do was wait. 


	19. Close the Door

Somehow in pain, we are often our own worst enemy. As the daydreams continued and Waylon Carter was brought on side to make the visiting time even longer; Denver should have been feeling better. Lunch and dinner were secretly brought to them in the West lounge and on Tuesday night Fred even ordered them all pizza. The couple talked like words had been previously rationed and suddenly it was a free for all.   
  
When their last weekend together had passed by, there was very little that they hadn't learnt about each other. The bad, the good and the completely unremarkable were all paraded out for each other's information and they felt as though they had known one another a lifetime; but when the planning and the knowing was over… the history and the present were acknowledged; the future was all they had to look to… and it hurt.  
  
"So what are you going to do, next week?" Denver asked as if he were asking her if she wanted the last potato wedge. Anna felt her blood chill as though it had been pumped full of liquid nitrogen.  
  
"I can't talk about it, Denny." He frowned. "He had told himself over and over that he had to make her toughen up. He had to give her his strength, even if it meant he fell apart in those last few hours. Anna needed to get her life together after his was taken; and after all she had given him, he had to give her his courage and the one thing that remained strong within him all these years in prison… his propensity for self-preservation.  
  
"Anna, we have to talk about this. You are going to have to bury me in a few days and then you are going to have to carry on living. Please Anna? Angel, I need you to live the life we should have had together. All the stuff we have talked about… you can do that and I'll watch over you in everything you do, but I don't want to see you crying all the time." Anna sobbed and scrunched up her face to try and hide the pain. Denver took her hand in his and stroked his finger over the lines on it.   
  
"You will live long, my darling. Grow to be old and wrinkly and I won't even recognise you when you make it to them pearly gates!" he teased her and was rewarded with the appearance of the little smile he loved so much.  
  
"You had better recognise me, Bayliss or I'll kick your ass!" She retorted. "Would you still love me if I was old and you were still twenty-seven?" she asked with a girlish wonder. Denver smiled.  
  
"I don't know how heaven works; maybe you should ask my sister." He smirked but remembering Lil made him sad again. It was all getting too close now and far too painful to keep the brave face on.  
  
"I want to be buried in the woods, Anna. If you buy the house, bury me under a tree in our garden or scatter my ashes on the roses or something… just don't keep me in a vase on the mantle okay, I've been shut up enough in my life." Anna was shaking her head and crying again.  
  
"Baby, please… please don't cry. I can't do this if you cry like that. Come on, my angel, give me a smile. I know it's hard…" his voice was comforting but he couldn't comfort himself; in less than three days he'd be dead. His only comfort was in knowing she'd be okay without him and he longed to hear her tell him it was true.  
  
"It's not fair, Denny. It's just not fair. I don't want this to be the end. Why give us this time together and then take you away from me… why do this and then make it end… it's not enough…"  
  
"Would you rather we had never met?" He asked almost choking on the air in his throat.  
  
"Denny, I love you. I just don't want it to stop."  
  
"I thought you told Fred, you'd always wait for me and keep me in your heart." He challenged.  
  
"I will, Denver, and I'll… if heaven exists then I'll find you there, where no one can take you from me. Why do they have to do this Denny, Why… oh God why?"  
  
"Because I killed people. Because they believe I'm not worthy of life anymore. Because that's the way it is." He answered with a strained tone to his voice.  
  
"Because I let you down… I could have proven that there were reasons… that people let you down and…" She burst into tears and broke down in front of him, more than she had ever done before. "I just became another one of them, didn't I?"  
  
Denver was angry. Angry that he had let things get so painful and angry that she could even for a single second, believe that he thought of her as he did all those who had wronged him. She was the only person who really went out of her way for him and he adored her. He was never good at hiding his anxieties and his strength was never enough to hold out in this situation. Now with her words, he found another way out.  
  
"Yes, Anna. You let me down, you fucked up my case and you let me fry." It was the worst thing he'd ever had to do and watching her crumble before him was the most terrible thing he'd had to endure in his whole life. Anna's mouth fell open and tears ran freely from her eyes.  
  
"I love you and I wanted to keep a brave face on, for your sake, but Anna; this isn't going to work. You have to go…" He spat the words like they were fire on his tongue and Anna began to shake.  
  
"You don't mean it. Denny, please… I can't leave you please, Denny." She tried to hold him and he pushed her away and got up off the couch.  
  
"I do mean it, Anna. I'm sorry… it hurts because someone has told us it has to end and we can't do anything about it." He sighed and had to use all his remaining strength to say what was left of his argument. "Well there is something we can do… there is something I can do. It's over, Anna."  
  
Her whole body started to shake and she leant forward to grasp his legs in her arms, in order to stop him from doing as he threatened. She clung to him so tightly that he almost fell forward over her fragile looking frame. He swallowed his own tears and reached behind his thighs to prise her fingers off him.  
  
"Denny, no; please don't leave me… please, I love you. I love you, Denny. You can't… you can't do this… it's not right… it's"  
  
"Fred!" He shouted. "Take me back to my cell, we are done here." Fred was by the door and could hardly believe what he was hearing.  
  
"Are you sure?" he asked as he saw the agony in Denver's eyes. Denver nodded and tried not to look at Anna quaking with tears below him.  
  
"Denver, please, I'll be strong… I won't cry… please Denny. You can't leave me… don't leave me, Denny." He knelt down and took her face in his strong hands and kissed her lips tenderly, feeling them trembling under his own and tasting the saltwater on her skin. It wasn't the last kiss he'd hoped for, but whatever he did, that would be the way it came… now or in a few days. She'd cry and she'd tear his heart apart with her eyes more brutally than the electricity would do.  
  
"I'll always love you, Anna. You are what I lived for; my whole life was for you. But I can't let you share my death too." He stood up and she fell to her knees and grabbed his leg. Waylon was due to take over and came into the room with a genuine look of dismay on his slender features. "Fred, look after her."  
  
Fred nodded and Denver moved towards Waylon to have his cuffs and chains fixed on properly.  
  
"Please, please Denny." Anna continued to cry. He couldn't take anymore, he couldn't hold back the tears if he had to hear her cry much longer.   
  
"Anna!" He shouted. "Get off me!" She clung tighter and he leant over to look into her eyes. "Take your hands off me, Anna. I have to go." He said firmly. She shrank back from him, knowing the anger and the pain were barely restrained and that he couldn't take it anymore than she could.  
  
"Come on Anna, get up now." Fred said softly. "Come on, it's going to be okay." Anna let Fred help her until she realised Denver was turning to walk away.  
  
"Denver Bayliss, I'll always love you, no matter what you say or how you treat me. I'll come back here tomorrow and the next day and I'll be there when…" She couldn't even say it and Denver was losing control of his own feelings too.  
  
"Fred, don't let her in. I don't care if she sits outside all day and night crying, you can't let her in here." Anna wept and pleaded but her boyfriend turned around and with a very awkward looking Waylon following, they left the west visitors' lounge for the final time. 


	20. Strength to Carry On

Fred arrived at work early on Thursday morning and thought he'd be the only one in the car park at six am. When he saw Anna's car parked beside his usual spot, he almost wished he had been. He'd promised to look out for her, but it was proving harder than he'd first thought. It was so unfair that the Governor left the clemency plea until the final moments. So cruel to leave that last ray of hope until… Denver had little more than a day left to live.  
  
"Rudy has gone in to see him." Anna stated, as she stood next to Fred's truck and trembled in the winter breeze. "The Governor denied clemency. I wanted to go with Rudy to see him but they said I was too close now… they won't let me do anything Fred…" tears rolled silently down her cheeks and she had given up trying to hide them by this point. "Rudy tried his best, but they don't see Denver… not my Denver anyway." Another almost silent sob escaped her and she looked away towards the area where she knew Denver's cell was.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Anna. I really am." Fred spoke softly and moved to comfort her but she shied away. There was only one way her pain would stop now. Denver had denied her that, too.  
  
"Take me to see him, Fred. Please let me see him… he didn't mean what he said the other night… he was just scared… I know him Fred… please let me see him…" She knew the answer and heard it a thousand times in her mind before Fred actually spoke.  
  
"He does mean it, Anna. He can't cope with being with you… he fell apart last night, Anna. He wants to be strong and fight it, like he's fought everything else, but…" Fred sighed and Anna knew what he was about to say was breaking Denver's confidence.  
  
"He loves you, he really does." There had to be some way he could help her. "When there is going to be an execution… the row goes quiet… every one of them knows what is coming, and it scares them all into silence. Every single one of the inmates heard Denver last night. I stood outside his cell for three hours while he told me how much he wanted to have been with you and how much he wishes he was strong enough to let you be there with him in the end."  
  
Anna was sobbing hard now and hated to hear that Denver was hurting when she couldn't do anything for him.  
  
"He cried all night. He didn't care that the others could hear him; that the guards could hear him… all he cares about is you. He's changed so much, he never would have let those feelings out if you hadn't been there for him all this time… if you hadn't have fallen in love with him."  
  
"Fred, I know he thinks this is right, but please, if there is anything you can do to convince him to see me again. Fred, it shouldn't just be over like this."  
  
"I'll try, Anna. I'll try." Fred then walked slowly into the front gate and Anna watched beside her car for a few moments before getting back in and throwing a blanket around her shoulders. The cold was setting in and she wondered if she'd ever feel the sun again.  
  
"Tell him to go home; he can't do me any good now. He doesn't need to see me; I'm doing him a favour." It came almost as a relief when he finally knew. The sigh escaped his lips as he realised that these were his last breaths. He would sleep beside the chair that night… that's if he slept at all, and by midday tomorrow he'd be in her arms again.  
  
Fred had never felt so helpless in his life, even watching Virgil beat up on his brother, or his wife falling apart under the strain of his heavy past… none of that compared to the sense of futility he was feeling for a man he'd known, only a few months.  
  
Anna's words played in his mind. Was there anyway he could convince Denver to see her just once more. 'God knows he needed some real comfort' Fred thought, but what did God know? As Fred lit a cigarette for the prisoner he'd grown to care for and almost, in some ways admire; he sought for anything that showed that God had anything to do with all this. From birth it seemed that Denver had been walking in the shadow of the valley of death; yet the rod that was meant to comfort him had beaten him black and blue. The staff that should light his way was dark until the very last months of his life.  
  
Denver had admitted the previous night, that he'd begun to wonder whether he were already dead and that Anna really was the angel walking him through the light into heaven. Fred wondered how he could still believe after all this and yet not take comfort in the real human form, in which it was offered, from his girlfriend.   
  
'I suppose that God never answers back.' He thought to himself as he offered Denver his help.  
  
"Need anything?" Fred hoped with all his heart that the answer would be Anna, but Denver was pulling himself together again; saving face and being brave… he wouldn't ask.  
  
"You mean like a last wish?" he said exhaling and savouring each breath. "I err… I need someone to hold, Fred." The answer was in his eyes, if not on his lips. Fred knew what he had to do and with a nod he left to do it. Maybe it was a little underhand; but he couldn't stand by and watch them both fall apart, when there was still a little time. Even a few moments to say goodbye properly would be worth it.  
  
So Fred rushed away to see Rudy and give him Denver's instructions to leave. He also wanted to pass on a message for Anna, but his Captain, Lester Adams called him over to discuss his note and the case against Lt McMannis.  
  
Fred was agitated throughout the meeting and really wanted to make a fuss about the way they seemed to be overlooking the contempt that Lionel had treated Denver and Anna with. McMannis had been suspended and given a warning. The bastard would be there the next day to watch Denver die and the state would do nothing to stop it. How many times and how many people were going to let Denver Bayliss down before he died?  
  
Fred wasn't going to be one of them; so he didn't want to fight now, there were more important things… 'Hurry up, just hurry up.' He repeated over and over in his mind. He wouldn't let Denver down and he was glad that they would transfer him; he couldn't face doing this again. He really missed being a cop. He wanted to help people and it seemed that it was impossible within this system.  
  
As soon as the meeting was over he rushed out to find Anna. Thankfully Denver hadn't misjudged her love for him for a moment. She was still sitting in the car and gazing out at the gates with tired eyes.  
  
"Anna!" Fred tapped on her window and she was startled for a second before she rolled it down. "Come with me." Her heart somersaulted in her chest.  
  
"He'll see me?" she asked eagerly. Fred nodded and Anna pulled the blanket from around her shoulders and put it on the passenger seat before climbing out after fumbling in her bag for a moment. Fred caught a glint of something in her hand but she hastily closed and locked the car before following him towards the entrance; and he didn't see what it was until the last minute.  
  
"Anna, what are you doing with a camera?" Anna froze as if she were a little girl caught with her hand in the cookie jar. "Here let me take it, you'll hold us up with questions and I'm getting transferred after…" He paused, noticing his insensitivity before he went too far, "…tomorrow anyway."  
  
Anna was searched and sent into the waiting area while Fred had a quiet word with Waylon in the corner office.  
  
"Do you have anyone on punishment?" Waylon nodded silently. "Anyone that would be prepared to play a little game instead of going to the hole?" Again Waylon agreed.  
  
"Anson Duppleforth, he's a silly young fool; still scared of being in here… he'll play along. What do you have in mind?" Waylon knew of Denver's plea being denied, within an hour the whole prison knew.  
  
"Anna wants some time alone with him. I thought we could have your boy change clothes with him and take Denver down to the old medical wing. No one uses it anyway and they could have some proper time… now Lionel is out of the way." Waylon nodded. He had begun to feel sorry for Denver a while back, when Lionel's behaviour hit a high point. Having witnessed the break up the other night and being on the row to hear Denver's crying, he couldn't disagree that he deserved some comfort.  
  
"You want to do this now?" Fred looked over his shoulder as one of the female guards passed by into the break room.  
  
"Yes." He whispered. "I'll take Anna down there now and then collect Denver. He doesn't know I'm taking him to see her. He wants to ask, but he's…"  
  
"He doesn't want to make it harder on the girl. I know Fred; its awful what she is going to have to go through… both of them… Fuck, if they fire me for this… I'm not sure I'd care." Fred agreed. This wasn't protecting and serving… it was destruction and humiliation. It was time to make a stand… even a silent one.  
  
Denver was taken from his cell fifteen minutes later. He was shaking almost all the time now and a cold fear had crept into him and was evident in his wide blue green eyes. When he saw the other prisoner brought down from the yard his heart sank.  
  
'I should have just asked for Anna.' He chastised himself. He walked into the yard and took of his hat; for a second wondering who had taught him any manners like that, and then sorrowfully remembering his sister.  
  
"Well, make it snappy you two." Fred called in a hushed shout. Anson knew why he was there and started removing his shirt.  
  
"Err… Fred this wasn't quite what I had in mind!" Denver called, backing off a little. "I just wanted to close my eyes and think of…"  
  
"Denver shut up and change your clothes before anyone else joins us. You can close your eyes and do more than holding if you just shut your yap and do as I say." Fred was agitated. It wasn't his job that he feared for, despite the fact that his family would be penniless if he lost it. What worried him most was that, Denver wouldn't get his wish at all if they got caught, and he would have to explain it all to Anna and break her heart again.  
  
Denver changed into the blue shirt and jeans, that were thankfully too big for Anson or they wouldn't have fit his stockier frame. A puzzled look was on his face as Waylon returned to stay with Anson and Denver was taken out and cuffed in low security bonds.  
  
"Don't worry; I'll remove these when we get there." Fred muttered. "Bow your head so no one recognises you." Denver did as instructed and watched his feet as they walked around half of the prison.  
  
"Where are we going? What's all this about, Fred?" Denver whispered as they walked down a dusty dark corridor. Fred looked at Denver with concern in his eyes. Hoping he hadn't done the wrong thing and made matters worse.  
  
"Forgive me, Denver. I had to do it." Fred said as he opened the door to a small darkened room, lit only by a dusty lamp and the morning light seeping in through a dirty window on the far wall.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Denver asked as he looked into the room and sought out a reason for this strange behaviour, in the darkness.   
  
"I thought it would be for the best…" with that Fred turned Denver to undo his cuffs and pushed him inside. "I'll come back for you later. I can't hang around and I have to lock the door."  
  
Then Denver recognised the shape in the dim light. Fred smiled as he closed and locked the door. "Anna?"  
  
Anna got up and nervously approached her boyfriend. "I didn't think you'd come."  
  
"I didn't know what Fred had planned… I asked… I wanted to hold someone again… I thought I'd have to imagine it were you. Why did you come back, Anna? After all that I said and did to you, why do you still want to come here?" Anna put her arms around Denver's shoulders and pulled him close to her trembling lips.   
  
"Because I love you and I'll never give up." A tear rolled down Denver's cheek and he couldn't hide his emotions anymore. "Because I need to hold you again too." Carefully he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her soft plump lips.  
  
"Jeeze, baby you are so cold." He said pulling back from her and adjusting to the light so that he could look into her eyes.  
  
"I was in the car outside… I told you, I'd wait." He smiled and rubbed her upper arms to try and get some warmth back into her. "You know there are better ways to warm me up, Denver." Anna said with a smirk. He laughed and traced his fingers around her unblemished cheek.   
  
"How did I get this lucky?" he said softly as he stroked her curls and pecked at her cold lips. She felt the sorrow inside and immediately shut it out. They couldn't be sad, not now… they had to make the most of this time… it would be their last.  
  
She stroked her hand down his hip and took his own to lead him, the few feet, to the lumpy old bed against the wall.  
  
"Are you sure you want to do this, Anna? It might make things harder…" She smiled and pulled him down beside her and slid her left hand up the inside of his right thigh.  
  
"I'm sure…" she whispered into his mouth as she kissed and caressed him. "And things seem hard enough already." He laughed and lay down beside her, tenderly running his fingertips up her side and over her breasts.   
  
"I thought I'd never know what this would feel like. I thought I'd never get to make love with you…" he paused as she began to remove Anson's shirt and pants and then his own t-shirt and shorts. His hands worked on her buttons and zippers ineffectively and he cursed when he couldn't get her bra unhooked.  
  
"It's okay, we have time." She said, quickly trying to calm him. "Fred said he could give us at least a couple of hours." Denver smiled awkwardly and then sighed audibly as he finally got to see Anna completely naked in his arms.  
  
"God, you are perfect." He said leaning up to look at her properly as dawn began to break outside. "You are so beautiful." A tear rolled down Anna's cheek and she pulled Denver down into her arms to kiss him deeply.  
  
"Anna, I'm scared. I don't want to hurt you… I don't want to do things wrong or be too rough. You'll tell me if I'm doing something wrong?" Anna nodded and stroked his stubbled cheek. "I want it to be a good memory."  
  
"It will be, Denny. You worry for nothing. I want this as much as you do, the past is the past and all we have is now. Let's make the most of it." He was proud of her resolve but he wasn't sure how long either of them could keep it.   
  
"How do you feel... apart from scared?" She asked lying beside him and kissing his shoulder and neck.  
  
"I feel hot… I want to… I need to make love with you… I don't want to make it scary for you, and I… I love you Anna. I love you, my angel."  
  
So words gave way to action and finally the time was there… the date was set and the minutes ticked by and everything felt to Denver, like he had already gone to heaven. Words could never do justice to what he was feeling, as he lost himself inside the woman he loved. Pictures on his cell walls couldn't show the power of a simple moan of pleasure from her warm lips. Nothing could prepare him for the way he felt at that moment and absolutely nothing else mattered as her hands clawed at his back and his fingers snaked around her and brushed over her hair. Theirs mouths locked together and they seemed to breathe for one another without moving apart at all.   
  
"Anna, I want to be inside you forever." Denver gasped as his head began to swim out of his control. "I'm yours Anna. I'll haunt you until I can be with you again. I'll never leave you… Oh God, Anna you are heaven."  
  
"Denny, I love you so much. You make life worth living… oh… oh baby that feels so good. You make me feel like I'm yours alone. Nothing ever meant so much, Denny."  
  
Anna felt so wildly lost to her passion that she was sure she could pinpoint the exact moment he became one with her. He completed her and everything else disappeared. The world went away and only one thing was left.  
  
"I love you." 


	21. One Last Look Before You Leave

No one would have believed that Denver Bayliss had less than a day to live; if they had walked into the medical room in the old part of the prison, with Fred Whitmore that bright Thursday afternoon.   
  
There they were wrapped in a blanket, naked as the day they were born; and still caressing one another even after spending the entire afternoon making love. Fred leant his head around the door and interrupted Anna's girlish giggles at being tickled relentlessly by her boyfriend.   
  
"I'll have to take you back in about an hour." He said with regret.  
  
"What time is it, man? I hoped you'd forgotten about us." Denver chuckled contentedly. "Ouch!" he scowled feeling Anna's hand at one of his few ticklish spots, "Let go woman, or you'll regret it." Fred laughed.  
  
"It's almost half past two, Anson has been freezing his ass off in the yard for hours; still it's better than the hole. Guess you're more important." He laughed before moving to leave them alone.  
  
"Fred, do you have my camera?" Anna asked suddenly coming to her senses. Fred had forgotten all about it but there it was in his jacket pocket. He handed it over with an understanding smile. "Thanks, Fred. For everything, we couldn't have done any of this without you… if there is ever anything I can do to repay you." Fred waved his hand as if it didn't matter.  
  
"Maybe I'll let you buy me a drink, sometime." He smiled generously. Denver watched the two of them and smiled; grateful that she would have a friend to look out for her when he was gone.  
  
"Hey, man. I'm not dead yet. Don't be trying it on with my girl." He mocked and for a moment Fred was actually riled by it.  
  
"I'm always your girl, Denny. But maybe we'll have a few drinks when I get you home. Lil and your Mom and Lucas, they can help me paint the bedroom pink." Denver laughed, like he was there and free already.  
  
"You paint our bedroom pink and I'll haunt you night and day. I'll wait till you are about to go to sleep and tickle you from beyond the grave." The jokes lightened the mood and the dreams gave them something to look forward to. Maybe it was a vain or false hope to keep, but who knew what came after the chair; there had to be something, surely.  
  
"I'll come back in a while; do you want me to take your photo?" Fred asked, knowing that Anna didn't just want a picture of her boyfriend but the two of them together. She nodded and smiled.  
  
"Damn and I didn't wear my best suit!" Denver sniggered. Anna reached under the blanket and tweaked his nipple so that he flinched.   
  
"I don't know I quite like your birthday suit!" He gave her a sly look and told Fred to give them a few minutes over his shoulder, as he lowered Anna down onto the first bed she'd been in since Monday night.  
  
"I won't leave you; you know that right, Anna?" he whispered as he butterfly kissed all over her face and neck and down her body, while she sighed and softly moaned his name.  
  
"I know." She whispered a little sadly. "You'll be there to watch over me and then when it's my time you will come and meet me at the gates…" They both cried as their bodies could no longer swallow the agony in their hearts. Making love in tears wouldn't be the best way to end things between them… but somehow the closeness and the total understanding of the situation made it special.   
  
People assume that the moment they live for will come when they have done all that they hoped to achieve in their lives and can finally close the book. For Anna, the most wonderful moment would always be that one she was experiencing in a cold, dusty cell in an abandoned wing of Fort Worth maximum security prison with the only man she would ever love.  
  
Fred gave them all the time he could and then returned to find them dressed and sitting side by side on the edge of the bed. Denver wiped his eyes on his sleeve and wiped each of Anna's tears away with the tip of his finger.  
  
"Take care of yourself, okay?" he said quietly. "Don't do anything silly; and do all those things we talked about, so that I can come along and watch." Anna nodded and tried her best not to cry. He kissed her eyes and nose and lips and breathed in the scent of her hair as she rested her head on his shoulder once more.  
  
"You want me to take a few photos before we have to go?" Fred asked, feeling guilty for interrupting such a moment. They both nodded and posed holding each other close and tightly. Fred must have snapped off about ten shots while the young couple shared their last moments in this world together.  
  
"I wish I had one of those that print them straight away, so you could have one…" Anna said as she got up to take her own portrait of her one true love. Denver smiled and patted her hand.   
  
"I have all the pictures I need in here." He said tapping his left temple. "You might need more than the pictures in your mind to get you through the tough days. It was a good idea… I love you, Anna" She couldn't hide the tears anymore and their final kiss was saltier than the previous 'last one'.  
  
"I'll miss you Denny. I love you." She sobbed. Denver knew it was time; he swallowed back the lump in his throat and nodded to Fred. Waylon came in to take Anna away.  
  
"Goodbye, my angel." He whispered into her quivering lips. "See you later." He smiled bravely.  
  
"See you later, Denny. Not too much later mind." He hugged her tight, just once more and then left with Fred. He barely got half way to the yard before he broke down in tears and slumped against the wall.  
  
"Come on man; just think about the good things. Some people never get that kind of love in the longest lifetime." Fred said in attempt to comfort Denver.  
  
"You think I'll get to see her… you know, like we said… like as a spirit or something?" he asked, trying to wipe away his tears and save face again.  
  
"I don't know what comes next, Denver. I hope so. I really do hope so." 


	22. When Next We Meet

'Dearest Anna,  
  
Well it's almost time; I have so much on my mind, I thought I'd better bore you with it as always. That or give you something to remember me by.  
  
I miss you already. I can still taste you on my tongue and my body tingles all over where your lips have been. You gave me the greatest pleasure I've ever known and everything I have been through… well, it's all worth it, to know I had the best thing in the end. I only ever wanted to be loved and cared for and you made it feel so wonderful, you make me feel amazing, Anna. You were and are my greatest pleasure.  
  
I have written to Lil and my mother, but I want you to be executor of my will. You must understand that stuff far more than me and you know what I want. If there is any money or possessions left, I want you to have them. There is a small gold crucifix that I want you to give to Connie and my bible, admittedly it isn't as worn as she'd like, but I think Lil would appreciate that I kept it.  
  
Make sure they are okay, Anna. You are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for and I know you'll be right. I know that you'll keep your promise to me and live a happy life for the two of us. Make sure my mother and sister do the same, if you can.  
  
I don't mind what you do with my body; when did I ever! Just don't keep me on the shelf. Give me the freedom we dreamed of and I hope that God will give me the chance to come see you from time to time. Or that the devil will torture me by making me watch you and never hold you, for all of eternity… though you know that's all I want.  
  
I'm not very good at this, I wanted to be eloquent and give you something that you could hold onto… I guess this is me anyway… the man you fell in love with. I'd have married you in a heartbeat if I knew I could offer you some real happiness. Even if they had kept me in here, I'd have loved to be your husband, for us to have children.  
  
Could we have children? I can't believe it only just occurred to me. I should have asked if you wanted that… Hell, if you are going to be pregnant, I hope you aren't mad at me for leaving you alone. I honestly never thought… making love together today was just about us, but now… you know how I felt about family. If you have my child, then make sure it knows the real me. Don't gloss over things, Anna. I did a lot of bad things and when they are old enough to understand… oh shit! How do I be a husband and a father for the next sixty years, all in a few pages?  
  
I guess you should tell them, that I wasn't all bad. Tell them that I'd have tried my best to be a good father and to always look out for them and teach them right. I'd tell them that they should always believe in themselves and love and respect their mother. That they should never give up hope and never stop dreaming.   
  
You'd be a wonderful mother, Anna. If you aren't going to have our baby, I wouldn't hold it against you if you wanted to be with someone else. If anyone ever hurts you, I'll haunt the bastard to death, though! I'd avenge your father for what he did, if we end up in the same place. I know you want to believe we won't but wherever I am, I love you and I always will.  
  
Death may take my body but it will never take my soul; and the love I have for you is frozen forever, never to be taken away from us.  
  
I have all these images of what I'm going to miss and it hurts so much to know I'll never properly share those times with you. I'm not scared of the chair… I might be in a few hours… but what scares me most is that I won't be able to come back to you. I need more time to love you, my Angel. You deserve so much more happiness than this.  
  
Remember our happy times, and try to forgive me for stopping you seeing me. I didn't want to hurt you and you were right. I'd never blame you for the petition failing, I wouldn't have kept it going this long without you… but then it wouldn't have mattered if I'd never known you. Never feel bad for any mistakes. I don't regret my actions for they all led to the greatest happiness I've ever known.  
  
Take the good things with you, my love, and cast aside the fear and doubts; you don't need that shit anymore. You are truly wonderful the way you are. I was blessed to have you love me. I'd be blessed again to live on through our child, but if that isn't to be… let me live in your heart and be free finally.  
  
I love you, I love Daniel and Elizabeth and if you need me, I'll be there in your heart or in our baby's eyes. I'm not gone Anna. I'll always wait for you.  
  
See you later…  
  
Denny xxx'  
  
Denver placed the third and final letter into a small pink envelope and put it with the others, inside the official paperwork that had been left for him to sign. Everything was in order but his heart.  
  
All but one thing. Anna had been right, Fred had been a good friend to them both over the last few months. An unexpected friend, and he too had his own worries to deal with. Maybe it was time to give something back. Even if all he could give was a friendly ear and a shoulder to cry on. It had made all the difference to he and Anna; maybe in his final hours he could help Fred too.  
  
"You can tell me that thing; you've been wanting to tell me?" Denver offered.   
  
Making peace, that's what Lil had called it. Anna had taught him to care and to listen; taught him why it was so important. It was all he could do now.  
  
Maybe it would help… maybe it would make a difference. Who knew which actions really mattered in the scheme of things? One smile could make all the difference to someone on the edge. One reassurance could rebuild the hope and reunite the dreams with the heart. Maybe he could mean something to someone without even realising it. Maybe we all can. 


	23. Dreaming a Difference

The Governor came to the public gallery to see the execution. Anna saw his car arrive while she sat in her SUV and shivered. Denver had asked her not to go. Told her he didn't want to cause her more pain by seeing him like that.   
  
'Remember me as we are now, my angel. This is what you should see in your mind as the last of me. Not the mess they will make of me in there.'  
  
It hurt so much knowing that he was alone at such an agonizing time. Her visit wouldn't be reported. Too many people could get into trouble if it was found out that they had spent most of his last day in bed together. Denver didn't want anyone with him. He had pleaded with Fred not to be there; but in the end, Anna believed he would be thankful for having a friend there to keep him company.  
  
She looked at the photos that she'd had processed and stroked the image of her boyfriend with tears in her eyes. How would she carry on? How could she live without him? He had put her back together after all the pain she'd seen in her life, he had given her back her dreams. How could she live them without Denny by her side?  
  
She closed her eyes and imagined him beside her; driving him home… taking him out of that place and back to their home. She bought the old farmhouse; Lucas had helped her out and the paperwork had gone through. She'd take Denver home and they'd always be together.  
  
She drove with a lightness to her heart, that she'd never felt before… save in his arms. She drove home and…  
  
Boxes were everywhere. Every detail she had worked on, both as a doctor and a lawyer and most of all as his girlfriend. Stories of the man she loved… all his misdeeds laid out before her and that single mug shot that had enticed her to take his case in the first place. That look in his eyes that had drawn her to him, so inexplicably at first, was the spark of hope and the love he had for her.   
  
She couldn't put it out… she couldn't let go, not now… not ever.  
  
There was the Governor; laughing and joking with Captain Adams. They went quiet when they saw her arrive. They both knew who she was and knew how much she must be hurting.  
  
"I'm sorry, Dr Darwin." The Governor said with a fixed, cool expression. "If I can do anything to help you… would you like to see Bayliss… Denver, before…" Adams shook his head, it was clearly too late for a one on one.  
  
"You could read this." She said dropping two boxes of paperwork on the desk. "And then tell me that it is right that you kill my boyfriend!" Her face was full of aggression and the Governor couldn't do anything but sit down and read the papers.  
  
With every page he read, Denver got closer to death; and with every statement that he discovered from witnesses, medical professionals, even his own guards, he had the background filled in by Anna Darwin.  
  
"You let Denver down. The state has systematically destroyed him over the years until there was barely a man left there to love. But he is worth love, Governor; he's worth life and my love, and that of the children we should have together. He's worth more than you'll ever know and if you'd just let him show you…"  
  
Everything raced on so fast then, that Anna, could hardly believe it, as she as taken to the room where they were going to snuff out her life's light.  
  
She rushed to him and unhooked and dismantled his bonds and the instruments of death that were about to take him away.   
  
"I won't let them take you Denver, you aren't theirs to take."  
  
As she held him in her arms and told him that he was granted absolution, he could hardly believe it were true. He was convinced more strongly than ever, that he was already dead and that God had given him a treat to see her once more and…  
  
"Oh, Anna. Don't let go of me again." He sobbed as she pulled him into her arms and closed her eyes to enjoy the moment they had longed for.  
  
Here they had the ending they deserved and surely had fought enough to earn. Two people who loved one another, through such circumstances and never gave up hope; that never stopped dreaming and needing to be as one… really should have their fulfilment in the end. A man who was never loved until what would be the last few months of his life and a woman who suffered for so many years, just to protect what love meant to her… surely they deserved this?  
  
This was where it all began. In this place she rescued her one true love from the clutches of the reaper himself and took him into her heart and her soul and made the home and family for him that he had sought all his life. Here they had their freedom, their hope and their passion.   
  
Sadly this ending just wasn't to be.  
  
Anna woke as the sunlight began to heat the steering wheel, over which she was slumped. Tears had dried on her face and her skin was pinched together by the streams of saltwater. For a moment she thought she could close her eyes and go back to the dream, back to the answer to so many prayers. But there was no way back and very soon Denver would be going to a sleep from which he would never awaken.  
  
It was nine-thirty. That time, a day ago, they were making love for the first time. He could have been creating a life inside her and now, twenty-four hours later his was being taken. She clutched at her photo still, and pulled on a jacket from the boot. It smelt of him. He must have been laying on it or something… everything in the world was falling away and all she could find were traces of the man she was about to lose.  
  
Fred was to come and get her once things were dealt with, she would take his body away and… how could she just sit there? Whatever he said, this was when she should be with him. If he was eighty and dying of cancer she'd be by his side… this shouldn't be different.  
  
The gallery was cold. No one was there, save the guards who still hated Denver for killing Timmy Bailey. To Anna, it seemed that this showed his crimes for what they were. No one was there to miss the people he took from the world. At least he'd have her to care for him. Lionel walked in and thankfully didn't notice her. She'd have traded Denver's place for his in a second.   
  
Tears rolled down her face as she saw Fred… and beside him Denver looked over through the glass at the chair itself. Anna felt so helpless, having to watch. She wanted to run over and drag him away from Fred and all those other people. Take him away and steal his life back.  
  
"Denver, come and find me in the woods and haunt me forever. I love you; you'll have to wait for me, this time."   
  
She called out and he looked round at her, his heart warmed and broken in the very same beat. He looked for her, tried to find her eyes in the darkness the way he had in the medical room the morning before. The curtains closed and he tried to be brave for her sake. He choked back his tears and looked to Fred, willing him to honour his request, to look after her.   
  
Then he could see no more.  
  
The curtains swung open and Anna's breath caught in her throat as she saw what they had done to him. She'd known the procedure; all lawyers in Texas knew what happened in the chair, but she'd never seen it. Never thought it could be so harsh. She couldn't breathe as she watched her lover contort in agony, his fists clenched and his whole body squirmed under the strength of the electricity.   
  
Denver looked for Anna's face in the darkness as the rubber pressed against his skin. He tried to recall her holding him tightly. Tried to imagine it was her holding onto him… then it came… pain gave way to a new world and he grasped his memories of her as he left. Begging through it all that he'd be left with that blessing, that even now he could hold onto her… that she'd never forget him and the last light he'd ever see would be that of the love in her eyes.  
  
Afterwards Fred sought Anna out in the hushed and astounded crowd. No words were spoken and all he did was hold her, while she watched Denver leave his corpse and then a peace came upon her as she knew that now he would never leave her again.  
  
Fred cleaned the room when Anna and her brother took Denver's body away. The stillness seemed so final and he wondered if Denver had got his wish. There was no more fight now; there was only love… and eternity. As he stared up at the ceiling he wondered where Denver had gone. Was there a heaven? Could God forgive more easily than the Governor and the State? Was Denver really gone or just watching and waiting?  
  
He smiled hoping that Denver had got his wish along with his freedom. There had to be something more. Agony wasn't a way to end a soul, electricity couldn't kill a spirit. Fred nodded and finished his work. As he closed the door and a chapter of his life, he wished Denver well.  
  
"Good luck, man. I hope you find her again. I hope you find some peace."   
  
The door closed and a life had ended. Denver had touched very few lives in his time, but two people would remember him for what he really was and somehow there was a peace in that itself. 


	24. Epilogue or Diamond Glints On Snow

Lil was late as usual and rushed up to the house with little Matthew in her arms. The entire house had just been painted and the door was open from the hallway to vent the paint fumes from inside. Lil called but no one answered.   
  
"Mommy, why do you have those flowers?" Matthew asked inquisitively. Lil looked down at her son, who had just passed his third birthday.  
  
"They are for your Uncle Denny. I told you why we were coming, do you remember?" Matthew nodded a little solemnly. Being named after his Uncle brought him positives and negatives. Aunt Anna always bought him and his sisters amazing presents when she came to visit, and going to visit the grave meant he could play in the woods while his Mom and Anna talked together. The negative was that, people got really sad sometimes and he didn't like it at all when his Mom or Aunt Anna cried.  
  
"Can we go to the woods now, Momma?" Matthew asked. Lil took his little hand and walked down the steps and across the front yard towards where her brother was buried.   
  
It was a quiet spot, under the shelter of the trees and it caught the sun wonderfully in the morning. Anna tended the garden there, far better than anywhere else, and the wildflowers grew by whim, from the seeds blown down from the woods.   
  
"Aunt Anna!" Matthew called running away from his Mom and towards his tired looking adopted Aunt. She smiled brightly when she saw the little boy. He always had so much energy and spirit, she told herself, and Denver would have loved to have known him. Matthew was just how Denver had described himself at that age and Lil's stories only furthered this image and Anna's favouritism towards the boy.  
  
"I thought we'd find you down here." Lil smiled as she bent down and put a small bunch of lilies into the flower holder on the thick marble headstone.  
  
"I come here a lot; the house is almost finished… I made it the way we talked about… I know he'll just be mad with me if I went and painted the bedroom pink or something!" Lil smiled showing her understanding. "I know its stupid to want to be near a patch of ground but you know…" Lil nodded and stroked Anna's arm.   
  
"You still miss him a lot, don't you?" she asked. Anna nodded and gazed at the newly sprouted snowbells on the ground around the grave.   
  
"It should feel like a blessing that there is a part of him here with me… but there is so much I'll never know, so much we could have done. I feel closer to him here." She stared off after Matthew as he ran up the hill towards her neighbour's farm land and the old cantankerous bull in the field beyond the trees.   
  
"Matthew! Don't go too far and keep away from that old bull." Lil called after him protectively. Anna smiled across into the trees, seemingly looking into the middle distance, Lil looked at her curiously, wondering what she was looking at.  
  
"He'll be okay, Lil. Denny won't let anything happen to him." Lil looked at Anna with a shocked expression.  
  
"Sometimes I think I see him. He's out here a lot. Not like he is just in his grave or something. He sits and smokes in the woods. Seems God doesn't have a no smoking policy like most places these days." She chuckled and glanced to see if Lil thought she was going nuts.   
  
"I saw him on the couch the other morning, when the sun was just peering in through the windows. Once I saw him working on the fence outside… You think I'm going crazy don't you?" she asked as Lil's expression grew graver.  
  
"Anna, I think you are coping. I think you are doing everything you can to get by in such horrible circumstances. He shouldn't be dead. Even the Governor admitted it was an unjust decision. If only things had been different… if only he'd had more time…" Anna couldn't hide her tears but bravely struggled on, the way she'd promised.  
  
"I'd spent hours trying to fix that stupid gate." She continued and ignored her urge to get upset or rant about the appeal outcome. "I went in at almost nine when the sun was all but gone and the damn thing still hung off its hinges… I saw him from the window when I woke up… I never fixed it, Lil."   
  
Her sister, as they always thought of each other now; glanced across at the neatly painted white gate, there had been no sign of a creak as she closed it. Maybe the neighbour felt sorry for Anna and looked at it when she'd gone in, maybe she had just forgotten that it had held up when she went in finally to bed… or maybe she was right… Maybe Denver was there looking out for them.  
  
"You know it's hard to believe Denny would make it as an angel. Mom would laugh herself silly if she was still around." They both nodded silently, both of them knowing that, had it not been for other people in their lives they would have took the easy way out the way that Connie did, after Denver was executed.   
  
"How are you feeling, everything is okay isn't it?" Lil said, gesturing at the increasing bump that lay under Anna's pale blue shirt.  
  
"We're good, yeah. The doctor says I can have my first scan next week. He doesn't have to tell me though, Lil. I know it's a boy. He's one hell of a lively little one too!"  
  
Lil laughed, "He can't wait to get out!"  
  
Anna patted her tummy and looked at the inscription on the shiny black marble before her.  
  
'Denver Bayliss 1966-1993.'   
  
'Until we are together again… forever yours, Anna.'  
  
"He takes after his father!" she laughed with tears in her eyes. She heard the breeze in the trees behind her and felt his warm arms around her. Still offering her comfort and support.   
  
"Are you going to name him after Denny? Lil asked wiping her own tear stained cheeks and handing Anna a tissue.  
  
"Denny wanted to call him Daniel. He couldn't have known I'd get pregnant; he was so innocent I don't think it really crossed his mind until afterwards… The way he talked about him… about Daniel; he was sure there would be a part of him there to protect me. I don't know what to believe Lil, after all that happened. They took him away from me, from us, and then they came back and told me they were wrong. No amount of money could make up for what Daniel and I have lost… if I seem crazy for holding onto him like this… I don't care. I love Denny with all my heart and I was never ashamed of the way I felt when he was alive… I won't start now."  
  
"I hope your right Anna. I hope he is around here, waiting for you. If anyone in this world deserved a little bit of happiness it was the two of you. I miss him everyday; I can't begin to know how much it hurts you."  
  
"They killed his body Lil, they put one thousand seven hundred volts of electricity through his body and they killed him. I couldn't even see his face Lil; I could see the agony and the suffering as they finally took him away from me. I watched them burn him from the inside out and all the time he looked right at me as though he could see through that horrible black mask and I knew he loved me. In the end they took everything but they couldn't take what we'd found." Anna wiped at her tears defensively. "They never took his heart, they couldn't take his soul."  
  
The tears silenced them both for a while and the wind whistled in the trees above as though it were singing a sweet sounding lullaby.  
  
"If I seem crazy for believing he is here; that he talks to me when I can't see a way through and holds me in his arms as I fall asleep… until I can find him in my dreams… I'd rather be mad than give him up. I promised I'd never give up on him." She smiled wryly.   
  
"I'm not going to let a silly little thing like death, make me forget. As long as I keep fighting for him, for those that are suffering like Denny did… as long as I have our son… he's not really dead… just waiting."  
  
As years went by Lil and Anna became very close. They were, in their hearts at least, related; and Daniel and his unexpected twin sister, Elizabeth would play with Lil's children every weekend. Lil would sometimes catch the twins playing together, the way she remembered her and Denny when he was little. She wished that Anna could have those memories too, or that Denver was there to tell her himself.   
  
Anna loved her children and her home and she loved her work as a child therapist in Dallas, but she would never love anyone but Denver, and it made Lil feel very sorry for her. That was until she started noticing her habits.   
  
Maybe Anna was going crazy, she said so herself often enough and she was the doctor. She would grow quiet sometimes as she sat on the porch and watched her children playing in the sprinklers on the lawn. The twins paid her no mind and knew what it was all about. They were six years old and despite never meeting their father they knew him almost as well as Anna.  
  
"Momma, Danny pushed me on the rose bed." Elizabeth said coming to sit on her mother's lap while Lil poured glasses of lemonade and kept an eye on her nine year old being rather boisterous with his cousin.  
  
"Did you hurt yourself, honey?" Anna asked, concerned. Beth smiled knowingly and shook her head.   
  
"Daddy caught me, before I got spiked. I felt him push me. Momma, he is worried about you, sitting out here all day." Lil looked shocked at this exchange and her mouth fell open. Anna chuckled at her and Beth was quick to join in.  
  
"You see Denver, Beth?" she asked.   
  
"Sometimes I think so, but I don't really see him… I just know he's there. Momma sees him, don't you Mom?" Anna smiled and sipped lemonade as she stared at the porch fence where she saw Denver sitting on it a few feet away. He smiled to her as though she were nuts, and teased, like he always did when she had sad memories.  
  
"He gave me this for you, Mom." Beth said handing over a small snowdrop from the woods. Anna knew they only grew over his grave and that it was too far for her daughter to go unseen, to have got it herself. Maybe it was the wind, but it was too delicate and perfect to have blown into the garden on its own. Years ago she questioned her sanity, when she thought she saw her lover in the window or out in the garden late at night. Now she didn't care what the reasons were or what people thought.   
  
If she believed, she had Denny there with her and their kids, everyday; she had something to hold onto and have faith in. If she ignored him, she'd break her heart… madness or not, it was love and maybe being in love is as mad as it gets sometimes.   
  
Beth cuddled up on her mother's lap and sucked her thumb, while Lil and Anna chatted about how much the little girl looked like her Daddy. Then Beth started sniffing and Anna paid it no heed.  
  
"Elizabeth?" Lil said, quickly leaning forward to see if she was alright. "Anna, is she okay?" Anna smiled.  
  
"Daddy's smoking again." Beth said pinching her nose. Anna laughed at both Lil's confusion and her daughter's annoyance.  
  
"He just wants you to know he's there when you go to sleep, baby. He's just looking after us, like he promised." Beth screwed up her face and frowned at her mother and fixed her with her big cerulean eyes.  
  
"Well I'm going to tell him to bring me flowers next time I see him, smoking is naughty." Anna laughed.  
  
"Well that's Daddy for you!" 


End file.
